


A Step In the Right Direction

by MCRmyGeneral



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Assault, Body Image, Bullying, F/M, Harassment, Incest, M/M, Panic Attacks, Recreational Drug Use, Stalking, Step-Brothers, Step-Sibling Incest, Step-parents, Step-siblings, incest but not really, overuse of fuck cuz i like that word, pedophilia kinda, they're not technically related, underage is used very loosely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-05-26 15:36:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 48,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6245482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCRmyGeneral/pseuds/MCRmyGeneral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As long as Gerard's been alive, it's just been him and his mother, and that was just fine. They didn't need anyone else. Until one day, Donna decided they did.</p>
<p>Too bad Gerard doesn't take too kindly to strangers. Even really cute ones in Joy Division shirts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic has been a pain in my ass for over a year. I had written out a hard copy like I always do with my stories, and then while I was typing it, I managed to delete half of it. And of course, this was after I had already thrown away the hard copy. **Save your work frequently, kids!** So then, I was really discouraged and just kinda let it sit in my documents because I wasn't sure I'd ever finish it. It took nearly a year, but I finally worked up the motivation to rewrite what I had lost. So this fic is over a year and a half in the making. But I'm very pleased with the final outcome, so I hope you enjoy!

Gerard jumped when the bell rang. He’d been so zoned out that he didn’t even realize the other kids around him packing their shit up.

He closed his sketchbook, jammed his headphones in his ears, and followed the rest of the herd out into the hallway. He kept his head down to avoid accidently catching the eye of any of the countless students that loved to make his life a living hell. Thankfully, the exactly 42-second walk to his locker was uneventful. That was, until he actually _got_ to his locker.

In bright red Sharpie, bold against the pale bluish-grey of his locker were the words ‘MAMA'S BOY!’ in handwriting that would rival that of a 6-year-old’s.

Gerard rolled his eyes. People snickered as they walked past, but he didn’t hear them. All he heard was Journey in his headphones, threatening to burst his eardrums. He opened his locker to grab his industrial-sized box of baby wipes, and began rubbing the Sharpie off his locker. Then suddenly, there was another hand, covered in red and black ink, grabbing its own baby wipe and helping to clean off the metal door.

"Hey, Frankie," Gerard said without looking up. He pulled a headphone from his ear so he could hear.

"Looks like Matthews’ handwriting. Fucker writes like an ornery gorilla. I know the path he takes home."

Gerard stopped wiping at his locker then, pausing to glare at Frank, who wiggled his eyebrows.

"How about a little retaliation?"

Gerard rolled his eyes again, and continued working at the ink on his locker. "He’s like, eight feet tall. He’d literally murder me. Not to mention he’s a friend of yours, and if you get caught fighting again, not only will you be sent to juvie, but your mother would fucking dismember you."

"I’m gonna rebut that point-by-point, starting with the following; A) Matthews is too stupid to properly murder anyone. He’d probably stab you in the dick thinking it was your heart."

Gerard chuckled. "Still, though… ow."

"Whatever," Frank said, waving his hand around, "B) I’m not friends with anyone that fucks with you. A ‘friend’ and ‘someone in the same circle of friends as you’ is not the same thing. C!" He stopped for a second, pursing his lips in thought.

Gerard smiled smugly.

"Okay, you’re probably right about the juvie thing, but D) thankfully, if I'm locked away in juvie, my mother can’t get to me to dismember me, so ha!"

Frank stuck his tongue out.

"Sometimes it’s really hard for me to believe that you’re almost eighteen."

"’ _Oh, gee, Frankie! Thank you for helping me clean off my locker! You’re such a good friend!_ ’" Frank mocked, throwing his baby wipe at the garbage can across the hall and totally missing.

When Gerard was sure the words were erased, he walked over to the garbage can, picking up Frank's discarded wipe along the way, and threw them both in the trash.

"Man, how did I manage to get a loser like you as my best friend?" Frank asked sarcastically, throwing his arm around Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard smirked. "In School Suspension."

"Oh, yeah," Frank said with a chuckle.

"Frank!" A deep voice called from down the hall.

Frank and Gerard both turned around.

Danny Ranger, Matthews’ best friend was standing by the stairwell. "I thought we were going to pick up shit for my party!"

"One second!" Frank called. He faced Gerard. "My friend in Kearny has this awesome dank. We’re getting an ounce for Ranger’s party tonight. Are you gonna be okay walking home alone?"

"I’ll be fine."

"If you run into anyone or anything, you’ll call me, right?" Frank asked, slowly walking away.

"Yes, go," Gerard dismissed Frank with a wave of his hand.

"Bye, Gee!" He called, running to catch up with Ranger.

Gerard sighed as he walked outside and started his slow, lonely walk home.

He knew Frank would’ve made Ranger wait. If Gerard had asked him to, Frank would’ve walked him home first. Frank always made Gerard his number one priority, always put him above all his other friends. He was always taking care of Gerard, constantly fighting his battles for him.

They had gotten to be best friends back in fourth grade, when they spent an entire two weeks in in-school-suspension together. Frank had ADHD, so he was constantly talking and jumping around, even when the teacher had asked him to be quiet and sit still. Gerard, on the other hand, was incredibly shy. He had refused to speak at all. He didn’t even answer when the teacher asked him a question, which was what landed him in ISS.

To be honest, Frank kinda scared him back then. He was always talking too loud and running in the halls and hopping around like a fucking jackrabbit. Gerard had cowered in his seat the first day of ISS when Frank walked up to him.

"What’s wrong with you?" He’d asked.

Gerard had just shook his head.

But Frank was stubborn even back then. He was determined to get the freaky quiet kid to talk to him. So he kept talking to Gerard, though Gerard never answered. He told Gerard all about his mom and dad splitting up, and how he spent every summer with his father in Vermont. He told Gerard about his lack of siblings, but his four cousins that came over as much as possible.

He explained his ADHD, calling it ‘hyper disease', and how his mother had slapped his doctor when he suggested putting him on medication when he was just seven. His father convinced her to to give it a year, then try the medication if he didn't get better. Frank then explained how it had gotten so bad the summer before that he couldn’t even get his mind to rest long enough to sleep, and stayed awake for three days straight. Learning this, his mother caved, and he was medicated in two days.

Frank's aberrant friendliness and all the personal information had warmed Gerard up, and on the fifth day, he finally broke the silence, asking Frank why he drew on himself (Frank had been drawing designs up and down his arms since he could hold a pen; his designs nowadays were just neater and a little bit better).

"They’re like tattoos. Except they wash off. But one day, I'm gonna get a real one. Don’t you want any tattoos?"

Gerard shook his head. "I don’t like needles." When Frank asked why, Gerard explained how he stepped on a sewing needle when he was five and how it went so far into his foot, he needed to go to the hospital to get it removed. Then Frank told Gerard about his fear of spiders, because his puppy a year back had gotten bit by a Black Widow in the garage and died.

Then at lunchtime, they finally noticed that they both had Star Wars lunchboxes. And that was how their friendship began.

Gerard sometimes felt like Frank was so protective of him because he was the only man in Gerard's life. His father left his mother before she even knew she was pregnant, and he barely ever saw his uncles. Frank somewhat took on the role of Gerard's father. At least, he tried to.

Gerard was surprised they were still as close as they were, especially since they started high school.

Frank was personable, funny, and really easy to get along with. Plus, he always had or knew someone that had great bud, and he was really fucking hot. Frank was popular before freshman orientation had even finished.

Gerard had grown up a little, but still only talked when he absolutely had to. He was a geek, a nerd who listened to old metal, sang, drew, watched shit like Lord of The Rings, read comic books, and above all, was gay. He was a loser before freshman orientation had even started.

Nobody ever believed that someone like Frank would even give someone like Gerard the time of day, let alone be best friends with him. But Frank was a good friend, sticking by Gerard all four years, through all the name-calling, the being shoved in lockers, the general torment and mental torture that went along with high school. Gerard had even been jumped a couple times, the worst of which was by three kids in his homeroom class. After two weeks of Frank begging and pleading, Gerard finally broke and revealed who had done it. The following Monday, all three guys had shown up to class bloodied and bruised. One with the worst black eye Gerard had ever seen, one with a lip busted in two places, and the last with a broken nose. Frank swore up and down that he had nothing to do with it, and Gerard eventually let it go. Though Frank had somehow forgotten to hide the bruises on his own knuckles. None of the guys so much as looked at Gerard ever again.

Gerard didn’t really care about being the school’s collective target. Most of the physical abuse ended after Frank's Trifecta of Ass-Kicking. Now it was mainly verbal, mostly insults thrown his way as he walked down the halls. That and the vandalizing of his locker. It seemed like every day Gerard left class and walked up to an oh-so-imaginative insult painted across his locker. ‘Mama’s boy’, ‘Dick sucker’, ‘Loser’, ‘Fag’. Though ‘Fag’ only happened once. Then Frank pushed past everyone huddled around Gerard's locker (practically the entire 9th grade), grabbed Gerard and planted a big, wet, hard kiss on him in front of everyone. Then he yelled to the crowd that if they wanted to call someone a fag, to call him one. The crowd dispersed, Frank cleaned off Gerard's locker, and Gerard just stood there, catatonic while his lips tingled. He never told Frank, but that was his first kiss.

‘Fag’ was a _huge_ hot button for Frank, though he was only bi. Gerard just assumed that it bothered him so much because he knew how often it got thrown at Gerard.

‘Mama’s boy’ annoyed Gerard more than anything. Of course he was a mama’s boy! His mother and Frank were pretty much the only people he had in his life. He never knew his father, his mother had an emergency hysterectomy almost immediately after giving birth to him, so he didn’t have any siblings, and she never brought any of the men she dated home to meet Gerard until she was sure they'd be together for a while. But what she didn’t know was that Gerard didn’t want or need a father. He had been 18 for five months now. He was a grown man, an adult. He’d survived this long on his own, and he could make it through the rest of his life without having someone to call ‘Dad’.


	2. Chapter 2

Gerard was sitting cross-legged on the couch with his math book in his lap when his mother walked in.

"Hey, Mom!" He said with a huge smile. She smiled back just as wide. There was nobody in the world that could make him smile the way his mother could.

"Hey, baby. How was school?" She asked, sitting beside him and peeking at his notebook.

Gerard shrugged. "Nothing special. Pretty uneventful." He never told his mother about what happened to him at school. There was no reason to make her worry. "How was work?"

"Ugh!" She groaned and turned her eyes skyward. "A shipping error! A fucking shipping error, pardon my French, on today of all days!"

"What's today?"

Donna rolled her eyes again. "Do you even listen when I talk?"

"I... try, if that helps," Gerard said with a smile and Donna chuckled.

"Stephen King's new book dropped today. We were supposed to have 400 copies on the shelves at 8 o'clock this morning, and we didn't have jack shit, pardon my French."

"When will they be here?"

"Wednesday! Because _one_ day of King fans up my ass for this fucking book, pardon my French, wasn't bad enough. Now they're gonna be camped out up there half the week!"

Gerard laughed. "First of all, ew. And second of all, I don't think 'shit' and 'fuck' are French."

Donna dug her elbow into Gerard's side until he squirmed and begged for mercy.

"That's wrong, by the way," She said, pointing to number 13 in Gerard's notebook.

"What? How?" He demanded.

"Order of Operations, hon. PEMDAS. You gotta add what's in these parentheses before you square them."

Gerard groaned and started erasing his work. Donna laughed and walked into the kitchen.

"Algebra can suck my dick," Gerard muttered.

"Gerard Rush! I heard that!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Pardon my French."

Donna's laugh carried in from the kitchen. "You're a little smartass, you know that?"

Gerard chuckled.

"What do we want for dinner?" Donna asked.

Gerard hopped up from the couch and ran to join his mother in the kitchen. As lame as it sounded, helping his mother cook was one of his absolute favorite things to do. His mother was a classically trained chef. She graduated from culinary school and worked for a good few years in a high-end restaurant. But books were always in the front of her mind, so when she found out she was pregnant, she left the restaurant and opened her own bookstore closer to home.

Gerard loved learning new things in the kitchen. How to make flavored oils, how to julienne and chiffonade, what a mirepoix was. Cooking was their thing.

"What's for dinner tonight?" Gerard wondered aloud, tapping his chin. "How about... pasta?"

"What kind, chef?"

"Chicken carbonara."

"Ooh, good call! I need bacon, mushrooms, butter and cream."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Gerard started digging through the fridge while his mother started boiling water.

****

"I, uh... hope you don't have plans tomorrow," Donna blurted out about halfway through dinner.

Gerard froze. This wasn't typical of his mother. "Why?"

"Because I'm taking the day off. There's someone I want you to meet, so we're gonna deep clean the house and make something special for dinner."

"Who is it you want me to meet?" 

Donna put her fork down. "You know the guy I've been seeing?"

Gerard nodded slowly.

"Well, the lease is up on his apartment, so..."

"So...?" Gerard asked, his voice rising.

"So he's gonna move in with us."

"He's _what_?"

"I know this is sudden-"

"Sudden? How long have you even been dating him? Two months?"

"Almost twelve."

"When did you decide this?"

"Three days ago."

"And you're just telling me _now_?"

"He's got a son about your age."

"That's not a selling point, Mom! Why didn't you say anything earlier? Give me a little time to get used to the thought of sharing my house with two complete strangers!"

Donna sighed and rubbed her temple. "Gerard, I'm sorry. You're right. I should have told you earlier, but I didn't know how you'd take it."

"Oh, you're right, cuz springing it on me without even a 24-hour notice is _so_ much better!"

"You," Donna said warningly, her voice firm, "Will watch the way you speak to me." She sighed again, and her face and voice softened. "I really like this guy, Gerard. I think we'll be together for a long time. He's a good man, and I think he'll make a good father for you."

Gerard bit his tongue so as not to blurt out that it was too late for him to need a father.

"And from what I hear, his son is very nice."

"You've never met his son?"

Donna grimaced guiltily.

Gerard rolled his eyes and went to scrape what was left on his plate into the garbage can. Then he threw the plate into the sink without even rinsing it, and ran downstairs to his bedroom.

****

Gerard had to call Frank three times before he picked up. That meant that he was already drunk, and most likely high. Barring those circumstances, he always answered Gerard's calls on the first or second ring.

"Hey, Gee," He slurred, "What's-"

"Red alert!" Gerard cut him off.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his voice changing from happy-go-lucky Frank to ass-kicking Frank.

"Mom's boyfriend is moving in! And he's bringing his son, too!"

"When?"

"Fucking tomorrow!"

"Are you serious? And she's just telling you _now_?"

"That's exactly what I said!" He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. "I don't wanna share her, Frankie. I know that sounds selfish, but I don't care. If he's living with us, she's always gonna wanna be with _him_ and do shit with _him_. And she's gonna be fawning all over this kid trying to make him feel welcome, and..." He sighed. "I'm gonna fall through the cracks."

"No, you're not, Gerard. Your mom might give them a little extra attention for a little while, but you're her son. She's not gonna forget you. You're freaking yourself out over nothing. Trust me; she'll never love anyone as much as she loves you."

Gerard sighed. "I still don't like it."

"Then move in with me."

That made Gerard chuckle. He loved Linda, but she was psycho. She was scatter-brained and flighty and she said the weirdest things, and Frank always said that she was even funnier when you were stoned, not that Gerard would know. The first (and last) time Frank got him stoned didn't end very well.

"I think I'll pass on that, thanks."

"Wuss!"

"Bite me."

"Am I done playing Dr. Phil? Cuz there's this really hot girl from Central making serious eyes at me. Dude, her skirt is _barely_ a skirt!" Frank said giddily.

Gerard rolled his eyes. "Go, you incorrigible poon hound!"

"Talk to you tomorrow!"

"Make good choices!"

Gerard heard Frank cackle before he hung up.


	3. Chapter 3

When Gerard woke up the next morning, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and he was more annoyed than ever.

He changed out of his ratty pajamas into a ratty Rocky Horror Picture Show shirt and tight black jeans, and purposely dragged ass up the stairs.

He specifically left his room a mess. Fuck Mom’s boyfriend; he wasn’t cleaning his room for anyone. He didn’t even tidy up when Frank came over.

As soon as Gerard walked up the stairs, he bee-lined for the coffee pot. He wasn’t in a rush to pretty up his home to impress some guy he’d never even met.

When he turned around, he saw that the kitchen and living room were near-pristine. The magazines that were usually strewn across the table were all neatly stacked in one corner of the coffee table. The remotes for the TV and DVD players were both on the end table, as opposed to the floor or in between the couch cushions, or Gerard's personal favorite, _underneath_ the couch. He had a habit of falling asleep in the living room during his late-night movie marathons, and somehow, the remote always ended up sliding underneath the couch. Then Donna would drive herself mad for a good twenty minutes the next morning wondering where the hell the remote was before she would finally remember.

The carpet in the living room was freshly vacuumed, the whole room looked dusted (did they even _have_ a duster?) and all the crooked pictures on the wall had been straightened and perfectly aligned.

The kitchen floor had been swept and mopped, the table had been polished, and there wasn’t a single dirty dish in the sink. Even the sink looked like it had been scrubbed thoroughly.

"Jesus, Mom, why don’t you do some cleaning?" He muttered into his coffee mug.

"Well, since you weren’t awake to help me," Donna said, walking into the kitchen and scaring the ever living hell out of Gerard, "I had to do it all by myself, and I kinda went above and beyond."

"Yeah, a little. Did you scrub the baseboards?"

Donna grinned.

Gerard took a second to really look at his mother. She was almost glowing. Her hair was beautifully done up with cascading curls, her make-up was perfect, sophisticated and elegant. She was wearing heels for the first time in years, along with a knee-length pleated black skirt and a lavender cardigan. She looked younger than Gerard had seen her in years.

"You look beautiful, Mom," Gerard said softly.

Donna beamed at her son. "Thank you. You look like a vagrant."

They both laughed, because it was true. He hadn’t brushed his hair when he woke up (he never did), his jeans were ripped and torn (though methodically; he'd done it himself years ago), and the eyeliner he'd applied before school on Friday was smeared over half his face.

"This is my ‘Dress To Impress’ look," He joked.

"Oh, is it?" Donna asked, rolling her eyes. Then she captured her bottom lip between her teeth, gnawing on it so hard, it was turning white.

"Mom, stop that. You’re gonna bust your lip open," Gerard warned her.

"Sorry," She said, releasing it. "I’m just so nervous. I’m excited for you to meet each other."

Gerard decided to swallow his pride and meet his mother halfway. After all, if she liked him this much, how bad could he be?

"What’s his name again?"

"Donald."

Gerard just barely kept himself from rolling his eyes. _Donna and Donald?_ he thought, _Why doesn’t Uncle Jack just go marry someone named Jackie and the you can all be Charlie Bucket’s grandparents!_

"His son’s name?"

"Michael, I think."

The doorbell rang then, and Donna nearly jumped out of her shoes.

"They’re here! They're here! Aren’t you excited?"

"Yeah," Gerard muttered halfheartedly.

"Come on!" Donna commanded, grabbing Gerard’s hand and pulling him towards the door. She wiped some of the make-up off his face, ran her fingers through his hair, trying to work out some of the knots, and tugged on his clothing to get rid of some of the wrinkles.

"Mom, Mom, okay! I get it, Mom! _Okay_!" He yelled, swatting her hands away.

She took a deep breath and opened the door.

Gerard held his breath. He was _not_ looking forward to meeting who was behind Door Number One.

The man on their doorstep was, to Gerard's extreme relief, pretty average-looking. He was kinda built, so Gerard assumed he'd worked construction sometime during his life. His hair was dark and slightly greying at his temples, but he wasn’t necessarily bad-looking. Thank god he looked normal,

"Hi, Don."

"Wow, Donna. You look amazing," He breathed.

Gerard shot him a dirty look. He could’ve at least waited until Gerard wasn’t standing _right there_ to eyefuck his mother. But Donna just blushed and giggled.

Wait, blushed? Gerard looked again, and sure enough, there was a flush on her cheeks. Like a teenage girl. Gerard had never seen her this happy before.

"Thank you, Don. You're actually the second person to tell me that today."

"And who was the first?"

Donna turned and set her hand on Gerard's shoulder. "Don, this is my son, Gerard."

Donald smiled warmly at Gerard. "Well, it’s only acceptable that the most important man in her life gets to compliment her first. I’ll leave that privilege to you," He said, extending a hand.

Gerard shook it firmly. _You’re trying way too hard, dude._

"I’ve heard a lot about you."

"I’ve heard a lot about you, too," Gerard lied. Donna shot him a look that ‘Don’ thankfully didn’t see.

"Where’s your son?" Donna asked.

Donald looked around before setting his eyes on the royal purple car parked by the curb.

"One second," He said to Donna before running back to the car.

Donna looked at Gerard. "Can you at least _try_ to pretend that you’re excited?"

"I’ve never been a good liar," Gerard deadpanned.

"Gerard," Donna warned.

Donald walked back to the door then, his hand on the shoulder of a boy that was supposedly Gerard's age, but at least 4 inches taller.

Gerard tried, he really did, to hold back his scoff, but he’s 98% sure _something_ slipped out, because his mother looked at him with such anger that he felt his body temperature rise.

"Michael, this is Donna and her son, Gerard. Donna, Gerard, this is Michael, my boy."

Michael didn’t even look up from where his nose was stuck in his phone. He was just tapping away on its keyboard, blissfully unaware of the fact that everyone was staring at him.

His jeans were tighter than Gerard's, practically painted on. He was wearing a black Joy Division shirt under his black hoodie/motorcycle jacket thingy. The band impressed him, but there was still something about him that annoyed Gerard. His long, dirty blonde hair was perfectly straightened, then carefully stuffed under a beanie. His glasses were sliding down his nose, threatening to fall off at any moment.

When Gerard gave him another once-over, he decided he hated this kid. His shirt was riding up, and his jeans were slung almost impossibly low with a Misfits belt (Misfits? Another impressive band), revealing a very thin, very tiny stomach, and hipbones so sharp, they could cut glass.

_Skinny fucker,_ Gerard thought. He'd struggled with fluctuating weight most of his life. He was his heaviest Freshman year, and now, even though he’d worked his ass off to get back in the ‘healthy’ range for his age and height, he was nowhere near as skinny as this kid was, and probably always had been.

Apparently satisfied with the message he'd composed, Michael slid his phone shut and finally looked up at the three sets of eyes staring at him.

"Hi," He said before popping his gum four times. Gerard smiled smugly in his head. His mother didn't like gum in carpeted areas of the house after Gerard had fallen asleep on the couch with gum in his mouth and woken up stuck to the floor. Twice. Both times, they'd had to replace carpet.

He sat silently and waited for his mother to chew this new kid out.

"Hello, Michael. It’s very nice to finally meet you."

Gerard’s brow furrowed in confusion. _The fuck, Mom? Why aren’t you threatening to smack him in the head with a wooden spoon like you do to me?_

"It’s Mikey," The kid said in the most condescending tone Gerard had ever heard.

He squeezed his hands into tight fists. _Hey, Fuckhead! That’s my goddamn mother you're talking to_!

Gerard had never been a particularly violent person, but he _really_ wanted to slap this asshole.

"I’m sorry. Mikey. Well, why don’t you guys come in? We’ll show you around. Actually, Gerard, do you wanna show them the house?" Donna asked, closing the door behind the two strange men that Gerard only saw as infiltrators of his dwelling. If there was any way to bring out the natural animal in a man, it was to encroach on his territory.

"Sure," He answered curtly, "This is the living room. Kitchen’s in there," He said, jamming a thumb over his shoulder, "Bedrooms and bathrooms are upstairs. Now I'm going downstairs."

"Gerard Arthur Rush!" Donna hissed. Gerard turned around from where his hand was already on the basement doorknob.

Donna's mouth was clenched in a hard line and her nostrils were flared. That meant she was _really_ mad.

"What's downstairs?" Mikey asked.

"My bedroom."

"Why is your bedroom in the basement?" The kid asked in another snotty tone.

"Cuz I like basements," he replied just as sassily, and Mikey glared at him.

"Maybe it’s a good idea for you to go downstairs, Gerard," Donna said angrily, "And I think you should stay there until you can act like the adult I know you can be."

"You mean the kind of adult that invites complete strangers into her home without telling her son?"

Donald looked hurt by Gerard's remark, but Mikey just looked annoyed.

That comment was it. Donna grabbed Gerard by the bicep, opening the basement door and pulling him onto the landing, closing it behind them.

"I cannot believe you're acting like this, Gerard! After I told you how much I like this man, you're going to go out of your way to be so openly hostile to him and his son?"

"His son’s a dick! Did you not hear the way he spoke to you?"

"Yeah, maybe he’s nervous. Could it be possibly that he’s a little apprehensive about moving in with people he doesn’t know? Changing schools, homes, and towns? Maybe he came here hoping that you would at least _try_ to get along with him. This is your house. Maybe he was hoping you’d extend a generous hand to him in an unfamiliar place."

"This is _my_ house? I couldn’t tell anymore," Gerard threw back.

Donna’s hand flew, leaving a bright red handprint on Gerard's cheek.

"This attitude you’ve had this weekend does not thrill me. You better remember who you’re talking to, Gerard," she warned, pointing a finger at him, "I don’t care how old you are, I am still your fucking mother and you _will_ show me respect."

Gerard didn’t say anything, he just pinched his mouth shut and looked at the floor, a little guilty, a little embarrassed, and even more pissed.

"When you're ready to act like the decent person I raised you to be, you can come back upstairs."

Donna turned and left, leaving the basement door wide open.

Gerard walked over, slammed it, and ran downstairs, where he heard his mother’s heels clacking their way back to the basement.

"Keep slamming doors, Gerard! See where it gets you!" She yelled down the stairs, ducking back out the door before slamming it, herself.

Gerard flopped down on his bed and buried his face in his pillows.

_What the fuck, brain? I thought we were gonna meet Mom halfway! We had a plan! What happened to the plan?_

Gerard had this habit of planning on doing something, but then his brain took over and he ended up doing the complete opposite. It usually happened when he tried to lie.

He winced when he set the left side of his face against his pillow. His mother had a wicked backhand.

He could count on one hand the number of times his mother had hit him in 18 years. She only ever slapped him when he did something incredibly stupid (like when he agreed to be Frank's BB gun target in sixth grade) or when he got really mouthy with her (like freshman year when he found a near-empty bottle of lube in her purse and told her that just because she couldn’t get pregnant didn’t mean she should fuck anything with a pulse). Looking back, Gerard wholeheartedly agreed that he deserved every smack he'd ever gotten.

He sighed. So far, this day was going swimmingly.


	4. Chapter 4

"So what’s he like?"

Gerard exhaled deeply. "He’s an asshole."

He held the phone away from his ear to listen to the music that was filtering through two floors and his closed door.

"Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage!"

"An asshole with a good taste in music," He reluctantly admitted.

"What does he look like?" Frank asked, way too eager.

Gerard chuckled. "Like a reject from True Life: I’m a Scene Kid."

"Oh, no!" Frank laughed.

"I don’t know. I guess he's kinda cute," Gerard said, shrugging, "He’s tall, really skinny, long hair that was definitely not that straight by birth. He was wearing a Misfits belt and a Joy Division tee."

"Right on!"

"Oh, and he was wearing glasses and eyeliner."

"Hmm…a hot nerd that listens to punk? I can hit that."

"You most definitely cannot hit that!"

"And why the hell not?" Frank demanded.

"Cause…it’s weird."

"Ugh. You prude."

"I am not a prude. I just don’t like him, and therefore, do not want you fucking him."

"What about just a blowjob?"

"Frank," Gerard warned.

"Jesus, lighten up! God, you are such a virgin!"

Gerard rolled his eyes. Of all Frank's comebacks, that one always stung the worst, though Gerard had never admitted it, and Frank had never meant it to.

"Hey," Frank said, "My mom is telling me to quote, ‘Get my midget ass off the phone’, so I’ll see you Monday."

"Alright. Bye, Frankie."

"Don’t kill your new roommate!"

Gerard rolled his eyes again and hung up.

****

Gerard hated being confined to his room. It forced him to think about why he was there, which always ended in him realizing that he was the one being a dick, not his mom.

He was being completely unreasonable. Donald seemed like a nice enough guy. That Mikey kid was a prick, but Gerard could find other ways to be an asshole back to him, hopefully ways that would fly under his mother’s radar. Maybe this wouldn’t be the sheer torture he'd assumed it would be.

He looked at his bedside table, at his clock. Almost six. His mother would be starting dinner any time.

Gerard swallowed his pride and walked upstairs, where his mother was just starting to pull out pots and pans.

"Hey, Mom?" He asked quietly.

Donna looked up at him and smiled. "You know, for a second there, I thought you were gonna make me cook by myself."

Gerard ran around the island and captured his mother in a tight bear-hug.

"I’m sorry," He mumbled against her shoulder.

"Don’t even worry about it, baby."

"Where’s Donald and… Mikey?" Gerard asked when they parted.

"Don is out getting a bottle of wine and Mikey is getting settled upstairs."

"Could his music get any louder?" Gerard asked as he started peeling potatoes.

The floor was shaking, and Gerard could make out every word in every song coming from upstairs (though he’d never admit, he was actually really impressed with the fact that he’d known every song; this kid had an _awesome_ taste in music).

"Gerard, please don’t give him too hard of a time. Like I said earlier, he’s just uprooted his entire life to come here. You’d be a little standoffish, too. He’s probably feeling lost and alone, and I’m sure that not getting along with you doesn’t help. I think that if you put in the effort, keep trying, he’ll soften up. Please try, honey. For me?" Donna asked softly, giving Gerard the puppy dog eyes she did so well. Though, she didn’t need to pull that out of her arsenal very often; Gerard would usually do whatever she asked.

He sighed. "Fine. I’ll make an effort. For you."

"Thank you," Donna said, hugging Gerard again. 

Gerard couldn’t help but think that somehow, this wasn’t gonna end the way she wanted it to.

****

"Can I go out and kill tonight? Rip the veins from human necks until they're wet with life…" Gerard sang, standing at the stove grilling onions and shaking his ass like nobody was watching- which he thought was true. Don was still out, his mother was upstairs fixing her hair, and he assumed Mikey was still brooding in his room.

What he didn’t know was that Mikey had been standing in the living room watching him dance around the kitchen for the past two songs.

Gerard turned around to throw a leftover onion peel in the trash, and nearly screamed when he saw the lanky kid standing there hipshot with his arms crossed.

"Jesus fucking Christ!"

Mikey smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Nice pipes."

"Nice music," Gerard replied.

"Thanks. Uh, do you know where my dad is?"

"I think he's at the store still."

"Oh. Well…" Mikey trailed off.

"Yeah."

They stood for a second in awkward silence before Mikey finally turned and walked back up the stairs.

****

Dinner was sufficiently awkward, what with Mikey and Gerard pretty much staying silent and Don and Donna trying to fill in all the lulls.

"So, Mikey, are you excited about your new school?" Donna asked.

Mikey shrugged. "I guess."

"What kinds of classes are you taking?"

"I’m in Jazz Band, playing bass. And I've got a couple art classes, too. Auto shop, and all my normal Gen Eds."

"You know, Gerard takes art classes, too. He's kind of a star art student at the school."

"Mom…"

"Don’t be modest, Gerard. And I think Frankie's in Jazz Band, right?"

"Who’s Frankie?"

"Frank," Gerard corrected. Gerard, and on rare occasions, his mother, was the only person allowed to call Frank ‘Frankie’. Frank even yelled at Linda when she did it. "He’s my best friend. He plays guitar."

"Are you in any singing classes?" Mikey asked.

Gerard choked on his water.

"Why would you ask that?" Donna asked.

"I heard him singing earlier. It sounded like he had some formal training."

Gerard blushed like a lobster in a boiling pot.

"Actually, Gerard _is_ in choir."

"Kinda… it’s just Treble choir," Gerard muttered, staring down at his plate.

"You’re being modest again," Donna said, rolling her eyes. "You can tell Mikey all about your school on the walk Monday morning."

"Actually, I'm walking to school with Frank on Monday. Sorry," Gerard said quickly.

He thought he heard Mikey scoff. "May I be excused?"

"Of course."

Mikey stood and walked upstairs, leaving his plate for someone else to clear.

_Asshole_ , Gerard thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Gerard woke Monday morning by his alarm blaring out ‘Aces High’. He shut it off, gathered his backpack and the clothes he planned on wearing to school, and walked upstairs.

After throwing his backpack on the couch and grabbing a cup of coffee, he walked upstairs to his bathroom.

Or, well, the _boys’_ bathroom now. It used to be just his, but last night Donna broke the news to him that he’d be sharing it with Mikey from now on. Great.

Gerard instinctively reached for the handle, and found that it didn’t budge.

 _Fuckhead’s probably in there,_ he assumed.

He knocked on the door, but the music coming from the other side only got louder.

Gerard traded his knuckles for his palm, pounding on the door. "Mikey! Mikey!"

The smartass started pounding back.

"Mikey, let me in! Come on, dude, I have to leave in ten minutes!"

He kept slamming on the door for a good five minutes, before the fucker finally opened it, letting a cloud of steam and body spray wafting straight into Gerard's face.

"Have at it," Mikey smirked, ducking around him and walking down the stairs.

Gerard stepped inside the bathroom, and was greeted with the aftermath of Hurricane Mikey.

There were clothes and towels all over the floor, the mirror was fogged up so badly that Gerard couldn’t even see the _outline_ of his reflection, and the counter was cluttered up with two tons of Mikey's shit. Hairspray, body spray, at least four different sticks of eyeliner, an eyeliner sharpener with kohl shavings leaving black smudges all over the fucking counter, a brush, a comb, a blow dryer, a really bad-ass and expensive looking hair straightener, and, Gerard was both shocked and intrigued to see, a prescription bottle.

He quickly, as quietly as possible picked it up to check the label. Luvox. Gerard made a mental note of the name before hurrying to tidy the bathroom to a mostly-livable state.

The bathroom was such a mess that he barely had time to brush his teeth before he was due to meet Frank at the end of the street.

He took the stairs two at a time, skipping the last three entirely. He grabbed his backpack and turned toward the door, only to come face-to-face with Mikey, standing hipshot like the bitchy little priss he was. Gerard decided that he really fucking hated when Mikey stood like that.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"To meet Frank," Gerard answered, trying to duck around the asshole, who in turn kept bobbing to cut him off.

"Listen, Mikey, I'm in a hurry, so-"

"No, _you_ listen. I don’t want to be here. In fact, there’s probably no place I’d rather _not_ be."

"Trust me, you’ve made that quite obvious."

"I hate this place, but I love my father, so I'm gonna grin and bear it. I just don’t want you thinking we’re friends at all. I may act civil to you in front of the parents, but just remember that I do _not_ like you."

"You’re an asshole!" Gerard said, shaking his head.

Mikey rolled his eyes. "Like I've never heard that before."

Gerard scoffed and ducked past him, shouldering him aside.

"And clean up your mess in the bathroom, Fuckhead!" He called behind him as he booked ass down the street.

****

"Frank!"

Frank turned around and flicked his cigarette butt into someone’s yard.

"Jesus! Did you decide to go truffle-hunting before school?"

Gerard stopped right next to Frank, bracing his hands on his knees and panting.

"No, I had to fucking deep-clean the bathroom," Gerard said, finally standing up straight. "Mikey left it a mess."

"Oooooh," Frank drawled, "Things a bit rocky with the stepbrother?"

"Don’t call him that! He is _not_ a part of my family. He's a stranger that happens to share a bathroom with me."

"Ouch. Going that good, huh?" Frank asked as they began the 15-minute walk to school, their footsteps falling in perfect synchronicity like always.

Gerard pulled a cigarette from the pack in his backpack. He stuck it in his mouth and lit it, but before he could take a pull, Frank snatched it out of his mouth, sticking it in his own.

"You're gonna kill yourself with these things. Did you not just hear yourself huffing and puffing?"

Gerard yanked it back. "I’m not the one with chronic bronchitis, _Frankie_."

"Fine, then," Frank said, plucking it from Gerard's hands once more. He broke it in half and threw it in the street. "Now nobody gets it."

"You asshole! That was my last one!"

"Oh, you'll forgive me. Now," He said, slinging his arm across Gerard's shoulders (with a little bit of difficulty), "Tell me all about Mikey."

****

"He’s just so fucking rude!" Gerard said for the seventh time as he and Frank met at Gerard's locker between classes. It was like the conversation had never ended, it was just put on pause as they parted for their classes during the day.

"You said that already."

"Sorry. I just don’t understand him. One second he was complimenting me, and the next, he was scoffing at me and storming out of the room. It’s like he forgot to take his meds or some shit."

Gerard paused, elbow-deep in his backpack.

"Wait a second. We need to go to the library!"

"I’m allergic to libraries."

"Come on!" Gerard said, slamming his locker shut, grabbing Frank by the sleeve and dragging him down the hall.

Gerard plopped down in the first empty computer chair, ignoring the dirty looks from the kid next to him.

"Lunox, Lumov… Jesus, what was it?"

"There," Frank said, pointing to the search box where Gerard had typed in his incoherent ramblings. "Luvox. Why does that sound familiar?"

Gerard clicked on the link and was met with a giant pharmacist’s page. He skimmed through a ton of long, complicated words and a chemical symbol before he finally found something he understood.

" _Fluvoximine is used primarily for the treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and is also used to treat major depressive disorder, and anxiety disorders such as panic and post-traumatic stress disorder_. No shit."

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"There was a prescription bottle in the bathroom this morning. This was what it was for."

"I know that name! There used to be a giant poster for Luvox in my doc’s office."

"Mikey’s on this drug."

"Your stepbrother’s medicated for OCD?"

"I guess," Gerard answered.

"Don't you have to be pretty wacked out to need medication for it?"

Gerard just shrugged.

He wondered what else Mikey was hiding.

****

Gerard hadn’t seen Mikey all day, and was grateful. That was, until right before 8th hour.

Gerard and Frank met at Gerard's locker, like they did between most of their classes, and they heard some commotion down the hall a ways.

They both turned around to see Mikey in a stand-off with Ranger and Matthews.

"Look! He’s gonna get himself killed on his first day!"

" _That’s_ Mikey?" Frank asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah. So?" Gerard asked, and he and Frank both scoped the kid out. He was standing hipshot (again, the fucking princess) with his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised, looking very bored with the insults Matthews was flinging at him. He was in another tight band tee (this time, Journey), more tight jeans and he had a messenger bag slung across his chest.

"So? So, he's fucking gorgeous!"

Gerard turned to glare at Frank, but only for a second, before Mikey's voice snatched his attention back.

"Okay, listen, geniuses," He said to Ranger and Matthews, catching the attention of _everyone_ in the hallway now, "This is all super interesting, and really, I've never been called a fag before, you guys are wholly original," He quipped, rolling his eyes, "But I have to get to class. And judging from your almost exclusive use of monosyllabic words, so do you."

Gerard scoffed, but only to hide how impressed he was.

"Ladies," Mikey smirked, tipping an invisible hat as he walked past.

"Cute, funny _and_ brave? I can _totally_ hit that," Frank smiled slyly.

Gerard scoffed at him and slammed his locker, storming off without another word.

****

He'd been standing at his locker for a good ten minutes, waiting for Frank. Frank's last class of the day was Jazz Band, which was all the way on the other side of the school, and downstairs, so Frank usually took a minute. But not usually this long.

Gerard turned to face the doors Frank usually came through, and his jaw dropped.

 _You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me_.

Frank was walking down the hall, practically attached at the hip to the very last person Gerard wanted to see right now.

Mikey was smiling, the first time Gerard had actually seen him smile. He managed to keep the _Holy fuck, that’s a gorgeous smile_ , thoughts from popping to the forefront of his mind, quelling it with his anger.

Gerard subconsciously copied Mikey's posture from earlier, cocking one hip and crossing his arms. He was sure he didn’t look half as sassy as Mikey had.

He looked something, though, because as soon as Frank saw him, he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hey," He said slowly, cautiously, trying not to be the spark to set off the keg of dynamite. And when Gerard was pissed, he was a fucking _keg_.

Only then did Mikey rip his eyes from Frank to see Gerard. He looked back at Frank. " _You? You_ are Frankie?"

Frank blushed, and Gerard fumed.

"Yeah, this is _Frank_ ," He spat.

Mikey just smirked.

"Let’s go, Frank."

"Go where?" Mikey asked, specifically to annoy and antagonize.

"Home," Gerard hissed in anger.

"You wanna walk with us?" Frank offered.

Gerard turned a shade of red that didn’t have a name, and gave Frank the dirtiest look he could manage.

"Sure," Mikey said, either oblivious to, or not giving a shit about Gerard's anger. "I'm just gonna go get my bag. I’ll be right back," He smiled at Frank, and Gerard saw something there.

"We’ll be here," Frank smiled back, and _then_ Gerard picked it up. Frank and Mikey were flirting with each other.

Mikey walked away, and Frank turned to Gerard, flinching from the sheer power of his stare.

"I know, but let me explain!"

"Explain _what_ , Frank? How you're suddenly best friends with the person I've done nothing but bitch about all fucking day?"

"We have Jazz Band together. You should hear him play! He’s amazing, especially considering he's only seventeen! He started playing a Smashing Pumpkins song, so then we got to talking about music and shit. He listens to Black Flag! And the Misfits and Iron Maiden and all those other metal bands we like! So then we got onto movies; his favorite movie is Dawn of the Dead! He’s funny and he's really awesome, Gee. I think you two would be best friends if you’d both just get down off your crosses. He's just like us!"

Gerard turned toward the nearest exit.

"Where are you going?" Frank called after him.

"Home."

"Aren’t you gonna wait for us?"

Gerard didn’t say anything. He just let the door slam behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

"So, boys, how was school?"

Gerard just played with his mashed potatoes, not realizing that Mikey was staring at him.

"I met Frank," He announced to Donna.

The second Frank's name was even on the kid's tongue, Gerard jerked his head up, meeting Mikey's smug smirk.

"Really? And?"

"I really like him. He's an amazing musician with a great taste in music. And he's really funny."

"Well, maybe one day the three of you will all be best friends."

Gerard scoffed under his breath.

"Hopefully," Mikey added, and Gerard scoffed again. He wanted to be best friends with Mikey about as much as he wanted an unanesthetized root canal. "I really like Frankie," Mikey threw in, raising half of his mouth to Gerard in the most asshole, evil, cocky grin Gerard had ever seen.

"Stop it!" Gerard warned, low and venomous, slamming his fork down on his plate.

"What?" Mikey asked, playing innocent.

"Stop calling him ‘Frankie’!"

"Gerard!" Donna yelled.

" _You_ call him ‘Frankie’."

"I’ve been his best friend for nearly a decade; you haven’t."

"You just think you own this place, don’t you?" Mikey yelled, shooting up from his chair.

"Michael!" Don hissed.

Gerard stood, too. "This is _my_ house. _My_ town, _my_ school, and _my_ best friend. You'll never be anything but a visitor."

"Trust me, I'm just _fine_ with that!"

"You poor kid! My ass bleeds for you, Mikey, it really does. ‘Oh, no! I had to move and switch schools! Everyone should feel so sorry for me!’ Well, get over it!"

"Boys!"

"Oh, _I’m_ the victim? You’ve made yourself out to be the martyr since we got here! I feel your pain, having to share a bathroom!"

"You’re an asshole!"

"You’re a spoiled bitch!"

" _Boys_!"Don roared, pounding his fist on the table so hard that a glass fell to the floor.

They both broke their stares to look at him.

"That’s enough! From both of you! Both of your lives have changed dramatically, I understand that. Mikey, you need to understand that you're not the only person that’s ever been inconvenienced by having to move. And Gerard, you need to realize that this isn’t _your_ house, town, and school anymore. They belong to both of you. And you both need to realize that Donna and I care about you boys, and that seeing you fighting like this isn’t fun. Now both of you go to your rooms."

Gerard gave his mother a disbelieving look.

"Listen to him, Gerard. You're both acting like little brats."

Gerard glared at his mother for a second before he and Mikey walked away from the table, one going upstairs, the other downstairs.

****

"I am _so_ sorry, Don."

"I don’t know what's gotten into Michael. I mean, he's never been the most personable child, but this malice, this outright hostility he's been showing lately is just not him. You know, it might be his medication."

Gerard perked up upon hearing this. He'd been sitting on the landing just inside the door eavesdropping for about two hours, hoping to hear _something_ good.

"His medication?"

"Yeah. He just switched from Paxil to Luvox, and the side effects include aggression."

"What's that for?"

"What _isn't_ it for? His obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, and panic disorder."

"Panic disorder?"

"He’s always been high-strung and anxious. He used to give himself panic attacks almost every week. The kid is just so stressed out! We put him on Paxil, and that worked for a while, but he got worse when Alice died."

"How long were you and Alice separated for?"

"About two years. Michael took it pretty hard. He didn’t talk to me for about six months. He blamed me because I was the one that initiated the divorce, though Alice agreed."

"Alice died of cancer, right?"

"Yeah," Don said sadly, "Leukemia."

"Oh, that’s terrible," Donna gasped, and Gerard reluctantly agreed. That’s a lot of heavy shit for a kid to bear. Add in his parents’ divorce and his mom dying, Gerard almost felt sorry for the kid. _Almost_. He shook his head before he could feel any actual empathy.

"I’m sorry," Donna barely whispered.

"Thank you. We may have hated each other, but Alice was the mother of my child, you know?"

"I understand. Every time I see Adam, my knees get weak. And not necessarily in a bad way."

Gerard furrowed his brow in confusion. _Who the fuck was Adam_?

"Give them time. They’ll learn to love each other."

"Yeah, hopefully before the homicide."

Don and Gerard both broke a chuckle.

"We can only hope," Don said.

Gerard heard silence, and he assumed that they were kissing. He groaned and went downstairs, jumping into bed and turning out the lights.

****

When Gerard woke up that Friday morning, he woke to the smell of bacon and maple syrup. This was weird, because usually he was on his way to school before his mother even woke up.

He shuffled upstairs to the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. When he could finally focus, he saw Mikey and Donna standing at the stove together, each nursing a pan, and both singing off-key at the top of their lungs.

"Baby, hold on to me! Whatever will be, will be! The future is ours to see, when you hold on to me!"

What the actual fuck was he witnessing? Donna and Mikey together? Cooking breakfast? Singing? Singing _Eddie Money_ , of all things?

Gerard turned the stereo down to a dull roar.

"Morning, " He announced cautiously. He wanted to make sure that he hadn’t been dropped into the Twilight Zone.

"Good morning!" Donna said with a smile. That was normal.

"Morning," Mikey tossed over his shoulder, also smiling. _That_ was not.

"Hungry?" Mikey asked, sliding a plate of French toast and bacon across the island to him. Oh, yeah. Something was definitely up.

Donald came galloping down the stairs, whistling. He grabbed Donna, spun her and dipped her.

"Good morning, beautiful," He said, kissing her and righting her.

What the fuck had happened to his life? This was a Stepford family situation. Everyone was happy and smiling and there was so much damn cheer in the air that it was making Gerard itch. Before he could say "Who are you and what have you done with my mother/roommates", Don walked over to Mikey, pulled a small envelope from his pocket and ruffled the boy’s hair.

"Happy birthday, bud."

"Happy birthday, Mikey," Donna echoed, pulling a small, flat box out of the silverware drawer and handing it to him. Gerard felt a little awkward, not even knowing it was his birthday.

"Thanks, Donna. Thank you, Dad."

"Open ‘em!"

Mikey ripped the brightly-colored paper off Donna’s gift, letting it fall to the floor. Gerard just _knew_ he was gonna be the one picking that up later.

"This is awesome! Thank you!"

Mikey set the case on the counter to hug Donna, and Gerard snuck a look at what it was. A DVD, Romero quadruple-feature. The original and remake of Dawn of The Dead, Land of the Dead, and Night of the Living Dead.

Mikey opened Don's gift, smiling as wide as he could at the $100 iTunes gift card.

"You fuckin' rock, Dad."

Donna shot Gerard a look. "So Mikey gets to stay home from school today. Apparently that's Don's birthday rules. Do you wanna stay home, too?"

Gerard suddenly felt the pressure of six eyes on him, watching him carefully.

"Thanks, but no. Frank will be pissed if I leave him hanging, and Treble Choir has a mandatory meeting after school. I can't miss it."

Gerard saw the disappointment on his mother's and Don's faces, like they thought that the boys staying home together would result in brotherly bonding of some sort. Gerard knew how it really would've gone: he would've sat downstairs in his basement reading or drawing, while Mikey tried to annoy him as much as possible and shatter the foundation of the house with his music. No, thank you.

He watched Mikey's face, though the younger boy was careful not to show any emotion.

"We should get going," Don said suddenly, half to break the awkward silence, and half because they all were verging on late.

"Me, too," Gerard agreed. slipping on his shoes.

"Don and I will be a little late today, but we'll go out to dinner for Mikey's birthday tonight. Mikey gets to choose the place."

"Deal!" Mikey piped in from behind the kitchen counter.

Gerard all but ran out the door. That was way too surreal for him. If they acted any sweeter, they would've given him diabetes. 

****

Gerard hated when either he or Frank had to stay after school. It always meant the same thing; that Gerard had to spend the walk home alone, in complete vulnerability.

Both times he was jumped by Evan, Chris and James, he was walking home alone. Frank was small, but he kicked ass. He protected Gerard. Except today.

Gerard pushed both arms through the straps on his backpack, where he usually kept it hanging off one shoulder. It made getaway easier. He speed walked, and as much as it annoyed him, he left his headphones out. He was vulnerable when he couldn't hear.

He made record time, arriving at his front door in only seven minutes, half the time it usually took him and Frank.

Speaking of Frank, the little fucker wasn't responding to any of Gerard's texts.

Gerard walked in, and surprise, surprise! Mikey's music was seeping through the floor.

"Mikey! Turn it down, dude! I can practically hear it outside! Mikey!"

He threw his hoodie and his backpack on the couch and walked upstairs. The music was even louder up there.

Gerard had gotten the cops called on him two times for noise complaints in the past, and his music was never as loud as this.

"Mikey?" He called when he was outside his door. He considered knocking, but Mikey probably wouldn’t hear it, anyway. So instead, Gerard just opened the door. And when he did, his jaw dropped.

_What the actual fuck_?

Mikey shirtless was exactly how Gerard would have imagined it, if he actually took the time to stop and think about it; way too skinny, ridiculously pale, and small, wiry muscles.

He was on his bed, not even paying attention to his room intruder. But that’s because he was preoccupied, what with being tongue-deep in Frank's mouth.

Frank was shirtless, too, though Gerard had seen that before. He knew all the scars, had memorized all the birthmarks, and was always surprised by all his new and ever-changing bruises.

Frank was on sitting on the bed, Mikey was straddling his legs. Frank had one arm wrapped around Mikey's waist, the other hand on his cheek.

Mikey had both hands twisted in Frank's hair. They were both moaning and breathing heavily, and Gerard noticed that both their belts and flys were undone. He wondered how much of this he’d missed. He was (thankfully) either just catching the tail end of this, or it was just starting. He'd walked in on Frank in X-rated positions before. He didn’t necessarily want to repeat it with his potential future step-brother.

How could Frank do this? At least Gerard knew Mikey was an asshole. Frank was his best friend.

Gerard cleared his throat and threw the door open all the way, hitting Mikey's dresser and making his iPod fall to the floor. Mikey and Frank both jumped, and were both left staring wide-eyed and red-faced at Gerard, who was taking turns giving the two dirty looks.

The music had stopped, which left them in a tense, awkward silence.

Mikey slowly dismounted Frank, grabbing his shirt and handing it to him.

Finally, after about a minute, Gerard scoffed in disgust, slammed the door closed and stomped down the stairs.

"Gee! Gerard, wait!" Frank called. He pulled on his shirt and ran after him, ducking around him to block his way to the basement. Gerard had a head start, but Frank was faster.

"Gee, just stop," Frank said, grabbing Gerard by the arm, but Gerard just slapped his hand away.

"Move," He demanded, sounding uncharacteristically terrifying.

"No," Frank denied, always the stubborn one, "Not until you listen to me."

"I swear to Christ, Frank, if you do not let me into my room-"

"You’ll what, Gee? I can kick your ass any day of the week. Now just listen to me."

"What?" He roared.

"I’m sorry!"

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're _sorry_? Well, apology accepted. Now get the fuck out!" He yelled, pointing to the door.

"I didn’t want you to see that! I didn’t mean for this to happen. Mikey texted me as soon as school let out, and I knew that you had your choir meeting. I planned on being gone by the time you got home."

"Is this the part where you're supposed to be making me feel better? Cuz you fucking around with him and keeping it a secret is so much more comforting!"

"Gerard-"

"How could you, Frank? You’ve been listening to me bitch and moan all week about him. You know how much I hate him. I could kind of understand this from him; he's a vindictive asshole. You're my best friend!"

"I know, and I'm sorry. It was an accident and a one-time thing. I promise you, it will never happen again."

"Don’t let me get in the way of your love life, Frank."

"Jesus, I said I was sorry!"

"That’s great. Now if you're through playing tonsil hockey with the person I hate most in this world, you can leave."

Frank didn’t say anything else; he just hung his head and left.

Gerard glanced at the stairwell. Mikey was sitting on the top step, face vacant and emotionless.

"You’re disgusting. Really, _that’s_ how you're gonna get to me? By fucking my best friend? That’s a new low, Mikey. Even for you."

Gerard turned and slammed his bedroom door shut, stomping down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quite proud of this one. One of my favorite chapters in this story.


	7. Chapter 7

"Gerard?" Donna called, knocking on the basement door.

"Go away."

Donna rolled her eyes and walked downstairs. Gerard was curled up in his bed facing the wall.

"Baby?"

"What, mom?"

"Get up. We’re leaving in a minute."

"I’m not going."

Donna sat down on his bed. "What's wrong?"

Gerard accepted the fact that he couldn’t hide anything from his mother, and rolled over to face her.

"Frank and I are fighting."

"But you guys have never fought before."

"Yeah, I know," Gerard said bitterly.

"You and Frank will get through this. Now get up, and let’s go to dinner."

Gerard groaned, but Donna kept poking him until he sat up and got dressed.

****

The car ride was awkward at best. Gerard and Mikey were sitting in the backseat, Gerard deliberately making as much room between them as possible. Every so often, Gerard would feel Mikey's eyes on him, but he kept staring out the window.

Gerard's phone started ringing, and he ignored it. But Donna didn’t.

"Honey, isn’t that Frank's ringtone?"

"Yep," Gerard said dryly, before conspicuously taking his phone apart and removing the battery. He made sure Mikey saw.

"I don’t understand. You and Frank have _never_ fought before. You barely even disagree. What did he do that was so bad?"

"Guilty on account of treason," Gerard muttered.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mikey look away.

****

Mikey picked some weird Chinese place in his hometown for dinner, and Gerard couldn’t read the menu for shit, so he just ordered the only thing that looked familiar; orange chicken.

Other than thanking the waitress for his Cherry Coke and excusing himself to the bathroom, he stayed silent. Donna kept giving him dirty looks, but he honestly didn’t give a rat’s ass. As far as Gerard was concerned, Mikey was dead to him.

They were almost finished with their meal when Gerard saw a cute boy that looked a little older than him walk up behind Mikey.

The kid barely had the first syllable out of his mouth before Mikey had tensed his entire body, squeezing his chopsticks so hard that they snapped in his hand.

"Hey, Michael."

Mikey's eyes went wide, and he slowly turned to face this guy.

"Fancy meeting you here," He said, almost teasingly.

Mikey said nothing.

"Michael, you're being rude," Don scolded him.

How could he not see how tense Mikey was? This kid clearly made him nervous, and somehow Don didn’t see it.

"It’s okay, I'm used to him being rude to me," The kid said with an evil smile. He set his hand on Mikey's shoulder, and Mikey almost jumped out of his chair to avoid the touch. "Well, I should go. But, uh, I’ll tell Tim you said ‘hi’."

Mikey's lip started quivering, either in anger or in fear.

"Happy birthday," The kid said before walking out of the restaurant.

"Who was that?" Don asked.

Mikey didn’t answer. He just got up and walked outside.

As much as Gerard didn’t want to, he followed him. He tapped Mikey's shoulder to get his attention, and Mikey jumped three feet in the air. He was pale, and almost hyperventilating.

"I’m sorry! Are you ok?"

"I’m fine."

"Who was that kid?"

"Nobody."

"Are you sure you're ok?"

Mikey rolled his eyes. "Yeah."

Gerard grabbed Mikey's arm, sticking it in his line of sight. "Mikey, you're shaking."

"Jesus Christ, I said I'm fine!" Mikey yelled before storming back inside.

"Why do I even try?" Gerard asked himself before turning and following Mikey inside.

****

It had been a week and a half since Gerard had spoken to Frank. When they passed in the halls, Gerard purposely kept his head down. He took the long way to class, steering clear of his best friend. He hadn’t spoken to Mikey, either. His birthday was the last contact between the two of them, and when Gerard remembered what a dick Mikey had been, he thought ‘fuck him’.

Though, he was glad to see that Mikey and Frank barely spoke, and certainly were done with whatever was going on between them. When they passed in the halls, they didn’t even usually look at one another.

As pissed and angry as Gerard was, he was starting to get really lonely. He'd almost caved and called Frank at least three times, but he always forced himself to put the phone down. Frank had fucked up royally, and Gerard would _not_ give in.

****

Gerard didn’t even think to look out his peephole before he answered the door, and when he came face-to-face with Frank, he didn’t know whether he wanted to hug him or smack him. So he did neither, settling on crossing his arms and cocking an eyebrow.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hi," Frank said, and Gerard thought he sounded _really_ sad.

Gerard didn’t say anything.

"I’m sorry. And I know I've already said that like, ten times, but I figured once more couldn’t hurt."

Gerard still said nothing.

"I’m not gonna blame Mikey. He didn’t _make_ me kiss him. I accept full responsibility, and I promise you, it will _never_ happen again. Yeah, he's hot, but he's not worth throwing away our friendship."

Gerard's face softened.

"Can we stop this, please? I've never fought with you before, and frankly, I don’t like it. Do you have any idea how much it sucks not talking to you? I know you think that I have a lot of friends, so not talking to you is no big deal. But they’re just friends. You're my _best_ friend. I would trade any and all of them for you in a heartbeat. I love you, Gee. Now can we _please_ stop fighting? I miss you."

Gerard felt a smile slowly creep its way onto his face.

Frank grinned and hugged Gerard.

"I’m so sorry, Gee! This past week has been Hell. Promise me we’ll never fight again!"

"Never," Gerard whispered.

****

Gerard and Frank were seated at the island in the kitchen, making plans to go see Rocky Horror that weekend when Mikey walked in.

Gerard had never felt so awkward, stuck in a three-way staring match.

"Hey, Frank."

"Hi," Frank said curtly.

Mikey didn’t say anything else. He just grabbed a bottle of water and walked back upstairs.

Gerard sighed. He knew the guilt was irrational, but he felt it nonetheless. Mikey had made all of one friend in the week he'd been here, and Gerard had snatched it away from him. Though the snatching was entirely justified, there was something in his heart that hated seeing the look of utter loneliness on Mikey's face. He needed _someone_.

"You don’t have to hate him now."

"What?" Frank asked in disbelief. "Gee, he's the reason for our first fight in almost ten years."  
"I know, but… go back to being friends with him. That is, if you can do that without fucking the kid."

Frank rolled his eyes. "I think I can manage."


	8. Chapter 8

When Gerard walked out of Advanced Senior Lit that Wednesday, he wasn’t surprised to see his locker defaced again. But he _was_ surprised to see what exactly it said.

‘Loser #1’ was scrawled across the door.

Gerard turned and looked a little down the hallway, finding ‘Loser #2’ written on what he could guess was Mikey's locker.

"Fuck!" he muttered, rushing to his locker and grabbing his baby wipes. He all but ran to Mikey's locker, working at the writing and hoping to get it erased before Mikey and Frank got back from Jazz Band.

He wiped furiously at the words, but they were just barely smudging.

"Come on, you son of a-"

"What are you doing?"

_Fuck_.

Gerard looked up from his kneeling position, and sure enough, Mikey was there, looming over him with crossed arms.

Gerard smiled feebly. "Uh, nothing. Just cleaning your locker for you."

"Go away, you freak!"

Gerard's temper flared, and his face got red.

"Fuck you! You wanna know what I was doing? Fine!" He yelled, stepping away from Mikey's locker.

A sort of angry, pained grimace settled on Mikey's face as he read the words. He looked down the hallway and saw almost the same thing on Gerard's locker.

Gerard whipped the wipe in his hand to the floor at Mikey's feet and he and Frank walked back to his own locker. They both took a baby wipe and wordlessly started rubbing at the words. Gerard looked over his shoulder and saw that Mikey had picked up the abandoned wipe and was working on cleaning off the paint on his own locker.

When Gerard and Frank were done, Mikey had barely gotten L and O off. Gerard handed Frank a few more wipes, and Frank went to help Mikey.

Gerard watched them for just a moment before turning and leaving.

****

"You need some help with those?"

Gerard turned around and saw Mikey standing in the middle of the kitchen.

"No thanks, I'm good," He said thoughtlessly, turning around and sticking his hands back into the soapy dishwater.

_You idiot! He’s trying to reach out to you!_

"Actually," Gerard said, turning back around just as Mikey was turning to leave, "You can dry these. If you're bored."

Mikey twitched his lip in what was almost a smile, and grabbed a dish towel.

They had been washing and drying in silence for about five minutes before Mikey spoke.

"I’m sorry, I guess."

"For?"

"For yelling at you this afternoon."

"Forget about it."

It was another few minutes before Gerard broke the silence again.

"That guy… the one we saw on your birthday. Who was he?"

"Nobody."

"That’s a lie. Come on, who was he?"

"He was nobody, okay?" Mikey said, his voice getting a little louder and a little more annoyed.

"You’re right, because total strangers give you panic attacks."

"I said he was nobody! Goddamn, get over it!" Mikey yelled, throwing his towel in the sink and storming out of the kitchen.

Gerard sighed. Why did he always have to fuck things up?

****

"I am getting so fucking sick of him! I swear, he’s bipolar! All I did was ask about that guy."

"Well, obviously, that guy dug up some bad memories."

"So you're taking _his_ side?"

Frank sighed. "This is the problem with being friends with both of you."

"Does he talk about me?"

"I’m not telling you anything he’s said, just like I haven’t told him anything you’ve said. I am impartial."

"Well, maybe if _you_ tell Fuckhead to clean up his mess in the bathroom, he’ll actually fucking do it. I'm sick and tired of picking up _his_ dirty towels! You know I almost got grounded because of him and that goddamn bathroom? Mom yelled at me for a good fifteen minutes before Don stepped in and told her that all men were slobs and that it was in my DNA. I was a little offended, but it got me off the hook. From the look he gave me, I assume he knows it was all Fuckhead’s mess."

"So Don's okay?"

Gerard shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. He’s kind of a dork. He tells lame jokes and he drinks PBR, but he’s nice and he's pretty easy-going and he's always trying to keep Mom off my back. She seems to be riding my ass professionally since Don and Fuckhead moved in, and speaking of Fuckhead, he needs to _turn his fucking music down_!" Gerard screamed at his ceiling.

"Gerard Arthur Rush!" Donna yelled down the stairs.

"You see?" Gerard said into the receiver, over Frank's cackling, "Even when he’s not trying, he gets me in trouble. He’s like the evil spawn of Satan and Sid Vicious."

Frank laughed even more at that analogy.

"I gotta go," He said when he stopped laughing, "Mom’s yelling."

"Linda yells?"

"She fucking howls, dude. I’ll see you in the morning. Bye, Gee!"

"Later, Frankie."

****

Gerard walked upstairs to grab a bag of chips and found Mikey sitting on the counter monging on a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"What’s up?"

Gerard stopped, inching forward warily. Mikey being nice to him was not usual.

"Nothing. What's up with you?"

"Dad bought mint chip ice cream, so all is right with the world," He said with a giant smile.

This kid seriously got _way_ too excited about ice cream. But it put him in a good mood. Gerard figured that _while_ he was in a good mood…

"So, are you ever gonna tell me who that guy was?"

Mikey rolled his eyes and tossed his bowl in the sink, not rinsing it. "Leave it alone, Gerard. It’s none of your business."

"Come on!"

"You don’t care; you're just curious," Mikey said, hopping off the counter and walking away. Gerard followed.

"It’s not that big of a deal!"

"If it wasn’t a big deal, you wouldn’t keep asking about it," Mikey almost yelled.

"Just tell me!"

Mikey stopped right in front of his bedroom door, whipping around and screaming right in Gerard's face.

"All right, fine! You _really_ wanna know? I’ll tell you! His name is Gabe. He was my best friend. He was also my first boyfriend when I was fifteen. That is, until he made me fall in love with him, fucked me, and then dumped me in front of the entire school. Oh, but not before he outed me to my parents, spray-painted the word ‘Fag’ on the side of my house, and jumped me with his best friend, breaking two ribs and my nose! So, you want to know why I'm so defensive? You wanna know why I don’t like new people, why I have trust issues? Thank Gabriel Eduardo Saporta!"

Mikey turned back around and walked into his room, slamming the door in Gerard's face.

Gerard just stood there in shock. Mikey had been jumped, had his shit defaced, just like he had.

Maybe they weren’t so different after all.


	9. Chapter 9

Gerard got a text from Frank at about 11:30 that night, telling him to just go ahead to school the next morning, instead of meeting him down the block like he usually did. Gerard asked why, and that question was answered the next morning when Frank walked up to him in the hallway at school, the lower half of his right hand sheathed in a neon pink cast.

Gerard looked down at the cast and back to Frank. "Dude, you jerk off _way_ too much."

"Fuck you," Frank said with a smile. "Mom and I got into a fight last night."

Gerard's eyes widened. "You punched your mom?"

"No!" Frank laughed. "I punched a wall! Fractured my wrist."

"Jesus Christ, Frank! What were you thinking?"

"It's not a bad fracture. I've had worse, you know. And I was thinking that the wall wasn’t gonna maim me afterwards. Mom would’ve."

Gerard shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"How are things with the potential step-brother?"

Gerard sighed. "He talked last night. Well, not willingly. I pretty much poked and prodded until he caved. Remember that guy at the restaurant on his birthday?"

"Yeah."

"They used to be friends. Boyfriends. But the guy was just jerking Mikey around. He got him to sleep with him and then humiliated him in front of the entire school."

"Seriously? That’s pretty shitty."

"Well, I guess then the kid told Mikey's parents he was gay, vandalized his house," He sighed, "and then jumped him."

Frank gave Gerard a look, and Gerard knew what it was saying. _Just like you_.

"That’s fucked up, dude."

"Yeah," Gerard said softly. He felt bad for everything Mikey had been through, but he shook his head before he started feeling too bad. Mikey had been nothing but a dick to him since he arrived. Shit in his past didn’t give him the right to be an asshole.

"Big deal. He had some rough times," Gerard said with a shrug, "He’s still a world-class prick. Fuckhead left me another huge mess in the bathroom today, and he spent all morning giving me dirty looks from behind his Apple Jacks. I swear, if this shit goes on for another week, I'm gonna punch him in his fucking teeth."

"Looks like someone might beat you to it," Frank said, pointing down the hall.

Gerard looked, and Ranger and Matthews had Mikey backed up against his locker, cornered like an animal. It was the second time Gerard had ever seen him scared.

"We gotta help him! He’s gonna get hurt!"

"So let him get thrown around a little. Knowing him, he made a smartass comment to them. He probably deserves it. Anyway, what do you care?"

"Just because I don’t like him doesn’t mean I want him to get turned into road kill!"

"Gee, think about it. I have a fractured arm."

"So?"

"So if you get into it with those fucking apes, I can’t help you. You're on your own."

Gerard looked from Frank to Ranger and Matthews to Mikey and back.

"I’ll take my chances. I can’t just sit here and do nothing," He said, walking away.

When he looked back, Frank looked as terrified as Gerard had ever seen him.

_Thanks for the confidence, Frankie_.

"Guys," He said when he approached Ranger and Matthews, "Come on, stop. Leave the kid alone."

Matthews scoffed. "And why should we do that?"

"Do you really want another suspension? Just go to class and leave him alone."

Gerard snuck a look at Mikey, whose face was a mix of fear and something reminiscent of awe.

"Go away, loser," Ranger demanded, "You’re not our target today. Just walk away and you’ll be spared."

"I’m not gonna do that. Come on, guys. He's not worth it."

Matthews took a step forward, looming right over Gerard.

"This is your last chance, Rush. Walk away," He warned, low and menacing.

Gerard stood his ground on shaky legs. "No," He said stubbornly, shaking his head.

Matthews smiled. Out of the corner of his eye, Gerard saw a fist fly toward Mikey. He tried to duck around Matthews to get Mikey before he hit the ground, but he was stopped by a fist to his mouth. After that, all he could remember was hitting the floor.

****

"You got him?"

Gerard felt someone grab his arm and pull him off the ground. Then he felt someone else press against his side, and his arms were slung over two people’s shoulders; one really short, the other quite tall.

"Yeah. You okay?"

"Yeah. Let’s get him to the nurse. You, too."

"He warned them that they were gonna get suspended."

"Serves those assholes right."

"Mr. Iero! Watch your language! And hurry up. We should get an ice pack on his head."

That was all Gerard heard before he dropped back into unconsciousness.

****

When he finally opened his eyes, all Gerard saw was an ugly, dingy tiled ceiling.

"The fuck?" He mumbled, his words feeling foreign in his mouth.

"He’s just woken up, so I’ll forgive that."

There were two pairs of soft chuckles, and suddenly Frank's head was in Gerard's line of sight.

"He’s alive! He’s _aliiive_!"

"Shut up, Frankie," Gerard said with a laugh, sitting up. He looked around. He was in Nurse Harper’s office, sitting on one of the blue plastic beds. Nurse Harper was clacking away at her computer, Frank was standing next to Gerard, and Mikey was seated on the bed with him, leaning against the wall at his feet, smiling. The fuck?

At least, it _looked_ like he was smiling. Gerard could only see half his face; the other half was covered with an ice pack.

"What happened?" Gerard asked, and was suddenly hit by an onslaught of pain.

"Wow," He said, closing his eyes. His head felt like it had been steamrolled, his entire body ached, his face more so, his mouth was sore, and when he touched it, he felt a giant gash on his bottom lip. "What the fuck happened?"

"Okay, he’s fully conscious now. That’ll be the last obscenity I hear. Correct, Mr. Rush?"

"Yeah. What happened?" He asked Frank.

"Dude! It was awesome! Ranger’s fist barely touched Mikey before you were bobbing and weaving around Matthews," Frank said, illustrating his story by actually bobbing, "But he caught you with a _massive_ right hook, and you hit the floor like a sack of potatoes!" Frank said, dropping to the floor.

Mikey chuckled. "It looked pretty cool from my point of view. You know, from the ground."

Frank hopped to his feet. "Then I ran over and stepped between you and Matthews, cuz he looked like he was gonna pick you up and continue the beat down. Before I could try out Ol’ Lefty," Frank said, flexing his left bicep, "Miss Jones came out of her room and saw you guys. From eavesdropping, I managed to gather that Ranger is getting his third and final battery ticket, one more and he’s going to juvie, a 13-day suspension, and Mandy Wilson is breaking up with him."

"How do you know _that_?"

"The _entire_ school is buzzing! Half the twelfth grade was watching you guys!"

"You’re a hero," Mikey threw in with another potential-to-be-a-smile.

"And Matthews is not only expelled, but is right now on the way to the Trenton Youth Rehabilitation and Detention Center. They searched his locker and found a bunch of Oxy."

"No shit!"

"Gerard."

"Sorry, Miss Harper."

"Oh, and you have a concussion."

"Gnarly," Gerard said with a smile.

Nurse Harper stood then. "Come on, Frank. Mr. Way and Mr. Rush need to rest and you need to give your statement to the police."

"Can my statement be that that was the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen my best friend do?"

Nurse Harper threw her hands up. "In case you’ve all forgotten, I am an employee capable of writing detention slips."

"Sorry."

"Come on, Frank," Nurse Harper repeated, setting a hand on Frank's shoulder and steering him out the door.

"I wish I could’ve gotten that on tape! That shit was legendary!" He said, straining to look over his shoulder as he was pushed out the door. "And I don’t even care about the detention I'm gonna get for that!"

Gerard and Mikey both laughed as the door closed.

"Are you okay?" Gerard asked Mikey after a moment.

Mikey nodded and took the ice pack off his face. His right eye was darkened with a huge black and blue bruise. "I’ll live."

"Jesus! That looks horrible."

"Thanks," Mikey deadpanned.

"Sorry. Are you sure you're okay?" Gerard flinched as he asked the question. The last time he asked that, Mikey had freaked out and stormed off.

"Yeah, I'm fine. How are you?"

"I’m not sure. I've never had a concussion, but I'm pretty sure it’s not good."

Mikey chuckled, and sure enough, he was smiling. He’d been smiling since Gerard woke up. Smiling _at_ him. "They’re fine, as long as you don’t fall asleep for too long. I fell off the jungle gym when I was nine and got a concussion. My dad kept me awake by periodically throwing ice cubes at me."

Gerard stifled a chuckle.

The two fell into a silence, though it wasn’t tense. It was kinda nice.

"Your lip looks pretty bad."

Gerard shrugged. "It doesn’t hurt."

"I…I, uh…" Mikey pursed his lips and opened and closed his mouth over and over, struggling to phrase what he was trying to say. "I’m sorry."

What?

"What?"

Mikey looked down at the floor. "I’m sorry. For all the shit I've given you and for being so rude to you. I just… thank you. You could’ve stood by and let them turn me into ground beef, and you didn’t. You tried to stop them, even though you don’t like me. I can’t honestly say I would’ve done the same. That’s really brave and nice and just… Thank you," He repeated, finally looking up to meet Gerard's eyes.

There was innocence and gratitude and apology and emotion in Mikey's eyes. More than Gerard had ever seen before.

"You’re welcome."

They sat in silence for another few minutes, until Nurse Harper walked back in.

"Boys, your parents are here."

Gerard and Mikey shared an understanding look. ‘Your parents’. The phrase definitely felt weird, though, Gerard was shocked to discover, not completely unpleasant.

Mikey stood and when he saw how slowly Gerard was moving, held out his hand to help him. As Gerard took it, he realized that this was only the third time he’d ever touched Mikey. The first was almost a month ago, when Mikey was blocking Gerard's way out the door. The second was on Mikey's birthday, when Gerard pointed out to him that he was shaking with anger and fear. But this time, there was no malevolence present.

When Gerard was on his feet, Mikey didn’t back away like he’d expected, but instead moved in closer, wrapping an arm around Gerard's waist to steady him and help him to the car. They both ignored the confused looks Don and Donna were giving them, having never seen them be civil to each other before.

Gerard stared out the window on the drive home, careful to follow Mikey's orders to not fall asleep.

****

Gerard slept in the living room that night with Donna. She was careful to wake him up every 45 minutes, and as annoying as it was, he was thankful.

Despite his entire body still aching, he opted to go to school the next day.

He walked up the stairs slowly, half from aching limbs, and half from the dread of today’s Hurricane Mikey. But when he flipped on the light, he was as shocked as he’d ever been.

The dirty clothes and wet towels were tossed in the hamper and hung up to dry, respectively. The eyeliner shavings were all in the trash, the mirror had been thoroughly Windexed, and all hair products and body sprays were neatly lined up against the wall. Even Mikey’s prescription bottle (he’d intended to keep it hidden for as long as possible, but after leaving the bottle out the first day, he figured the cat was out of the bag) was put away in the medicine cabinet. And Mikey's straightener and blow dryer were both wrapped up and stuck under the sink.

Gerard couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.


	10. Chapter 10

It had been a week, and Gerard was still a little confused about where his and Mikey's relationship stood.

Mikey was being a lot more bearable; he started cleaning the bathroom when he was done, he’d figured out that the volume on his iPod went both ways, and he was even making polite small talk with Gerard. However, they still wouldn’t call themselves ‘friends’. At least, Gerard wouldn’t.

It had been a week and three days since the fight when Mikey got a letter.

The mail was sitting on the counter when Gerard walked in. There was a small envelope that had been forwarded to this address from Mikey and Don's old address. It didn’t have a return address on it, but the name on the front said Michael Way.

The letter itself was sitting open on the counter, and Mikey was nowhere to be found. Gerard thought _Why not_ , picked up the letter and started reading. The handwriting was a girly script. Very effeminate, but after the first two lines, Gerard knew who the sender was.

_Michael,_

_I am shocked at how rude you were to me at King Wok’s! I just wanted to say ‘Hi’. Tim says hi, too. You remember Tim, right? Let me refresh your memory; he’s blonde, kinda tall. You’d probably remember him if you were on the ground spitting up blood while he kicked you in the ribs. Two broken, right? And another two fractured, if I remember correctly. And I'm pretty sure I do._

_I really miss you, Michael. I wish I could’ve at least gotten the chance to fuck you a few more times. I gotta say, knowing that I was your first is a great memory. Knowing that no matter what you do, you’ll never be able to change that. You gave your precious virginity away, and now you’ll never get it back. I hope you regret it._

_I remember that night. I remember you saying that you were scared, and I told you that it was okay, that I loved you and I wasn’t gonna hurt you. I can’t believe you believed me. How could I ever love you? Idiot. While we’re spilling secrets, I want you to know that I was trying to hurt you. I succeeded, too. You tried to wipe them away before I saw, but I remember tears._

_I noticed your old house is empty. I can’t find your new address. The post office won’t give it to me. The school won’t, either. Which is probably a good thing for you, because I got a whole bunch of spray paint last week._

_I have mixed feelings about your moving away. On one hand, I miss the faces you make while enduring mine and Tim’s torrent of insults. Your entire body turns red when you're angry. And I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but you bite your lip when you're trying not to cry. It’s beautiful. But on the other hand, I'm glad you're gone. You were a stupid faggot that I didn’t need in my life._

_Nobody misses you. You could be dead for all they care. Speaking of death, if you commit suicide now, before graduation, you’ll probably get a whole school-wide memorial. Think about it. I mean, what else are you gonna do with your life?_

_Yours with love,_

_Gabe_

Gerard couldn’t fathom what he’d just read. What kind of a sick, twisted person would write something like that?

He looked around the room. Mikey was nowhere to be found. And Gerard couldn’t hear his music, either.

"Mikey?" He called toward the stairs, almost frantic. No, Mikey wouldn’t. No matter how low Gabe made him feel.

He was just about to run up to Mikey's room when he heard a sniffle from behind the island. He darted around the counter and thankfully, Mikey was there on the linoleum, curled in a ball and hyperventilating. Gerard dropped to his knees beside him.

"Mikey, are you okay?" He asked softly, setting a hand on his knee.

Mikey's eyes were closed and he was taking careful, deliberate breaths. He nodded, and opened his eyes slowly. "I’m okay."

"Come on. The floor is cold," Gerard said softly, standing and reaching a hand out to help Mikey up. He took it, and Gerard pulled him to his feet. He carefully steered him over to the couch, where he sat down on the opposite side.

"Deep breaths, Mikey."

"I know. Thanks," Mikey replied, and Gerard could see that his breathing was starting to even out, even as Mikey wrapped his arms around his slender stomach.

"What a sadistic fuck," Gerard swore, shaking his head.

"I know," Mikey agreed, nodding. "I can’t believe I was ever in love with him."

"I can’t, either. You’re smarter than that."

Mikey smiled a half-smile and leaned back, finally starting to relax.

"Are you gonna tell Frank?" Gerard asked.

"Why would I tell Frank?"

Gerard shrugged. "If you're his boyfriend, he's gonna wanna know."

Mikey chuckled. "He's not my boyfriend."

"No?"

"No. It was a one-time only thing. I think I really mainly did it to piss you off."

"What a surprise," Gerard deadpanned with a slight smirk.

"I mean, obviously Frank's sexy as hell, so part of me was like ‘Happy birthday to me’!" Mikey chuckled, "But another part of me kept saying that it was a bad idea and that it was going too far. You're right, it was really low. I was just about to stop and tell him he should go when you walked in. I really didn’t want you to see us. I didn’t mean for it to go so far, but seriously. If you were making out with Frank, would you be eager to stop?" Mikey asked with a chuckle.

Gerard smiled, then frowned, then picked his smile back up in an attempt to hide said frown from Mikey. Though Mikey caught it.

A look of realization crossed his face.

"Have you ever fooled around with Frank?" He asked with a very subtle sly grin.

Gerard grimaced. "Once. It…" He blew out a breath, "It didn’t go so well."

"What happened?" Mikey asked, giddy like a teenage girl.

"He kissed me in front of half the school one day because someone called me a fag and he needed to prove a point. I brought it up a few days later, and he asked if I liked it. When I said I did, he smiled and kissed me again. So we started making out for a little while, and just as he was starting to unbutton my jeans, I let it slip that I was a virgin. Like, in every sense of the word. When I said it, he stopped. He said, and I'm pretty sure this is a direct quote, he said ‘as down as he was being friends with benefits that he didn’t want to take those experiences away from me’. He told me that he wanted me to save them for my first love. Me, being the socially awkward 15-year-old I was at the time, thought that I had done something wrong. So I literally ran out of his house and didn’t talk to him for a week."

Mikey smiled. "I thought you two had never fought before."

"Well, we kept it hidden. Neither of us was volunteering to explain to our mothers exactly why we weren’t speaking. Plus, it wasn’t really a fight."

"So, did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Give them to your first love."

"I tried; he didn’t want them."

Mikey's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Frank’s been my best friend since I was like, nine," Gerard explained, "I split my first beer with him. A shared my first cigarette with him. He was what made me realize I was gay. I was in love with him for a long time. I mean, now I know that all he’ll ever be to me is my best friend, and I'm totally cool with that. But a small, .01% of me is still in love with him, I think. Not enough to make our friendship weird, but… You know."

Mikey nodded.

"I’ll always love him. Which is why I freaked out so badly when I saw you two."

Mikey's jaw dropped. "Oh my God, Gerard! I am _so_ sorry! I never would’ve even _thought_ about touching him if I knew! I may be an asshole, but even for me, that’s hitting below the belt."

"It’s fine. It’s over. No harm done."

"So you’ve still got your V-Card, then?"

Gerard nodded. "Yep."

"Be careful with it. Be picky with who you give it to. You don’t wanna regret it later."

"I think I’ll be holding onto it for a while. _I couldn’t **give** it away_ ," Gerard muttered.

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Are you kidding? I'm eighteen and have only ever kissed one person. It’s pathetic!"

"I think it’s cute."

Gerard rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better, so I'm gonna go do my homework," Mikey announced, standing. "Thanks," He said softly.

Gerard smiled. He watched Mikey walk away, smiling when he stopped in the kitchen to throw away Gabe’s letter.

****

Mikey threw himself into his bed, blowing out a huge breath. He never realized how much Gerard had been hurt by catching him and Frank together, and now that he knew why, he felt like absolute shit.

He definitely understood the .01% still being in love with someone. Even after all the shit had gone down with him and Gabe, seeing Gabe all over Victoria at school made Mikey's heart hurt and blood boil at the same time. Most of him was thoroughly repulsed by even the thought of Gabe, but a little sliver of him didn’t want Gabe's hands on anyone other than him.

Mikey turned his head to the side, and saw a black t-shirt hanging out of his dresser. It said ‘Cobra Starship’ on it in neon block letters, which was the name of the band that Gabe and Victoria were starting. Gabe had given it to Mikey a few weeks before they slept together, a few weeks before Gabe turned Mikey's life into complete and total chaos.

Gabe broke him, in more ways than one. He made Mikey hate people. He made Mikey scared to ever let anyone close. He made Mikey terrified of trust. He made Mikey be nothing but a complete and total asshole to people that could potentially be family one day.

From what he’d seen so far, Gerard was cool. He wore Misfits and Iron Maiden and Black Flag shirts. Frank told him that Gerard loved comics and horror movies, just like they did.

If Mikey hadn’t been so standoffish, he and Gerard could’ve been friends. If Gabe hadn’t warped Mikey's mind, they could’ve been close. Maybe they could even now. Maybe it wasn’t too late for them. If Mikey could just push Gabe and the memories of him out of his life, maybe he could be normal.

Mikey walked over to his dresser, pulled the shirt out of his drawer and held it up to the light. Then, after a moment, he neatly folded it and dropped it into his trash can.

He had to start somewhere.

****

Gerard sat and listened to Mikey walk up the steps. He sounded exhausted. Gerard considered for a moment going after him and making sure Gabe's letter didn’t fuck with his head.

Who would ever do that? Who would write something that horrible? To someone they used to be friends with. Someone they had slept with. He assumed Gabe knew about Mikey's panic disorder. What was he trying to do, kill the kid? Gerard didn’t even like him and he would never even think about doing something that heartless.

Though, Gerard couldn’t necessarily say that he didn’t like Mikey anymore. He’d gotten much better. Bearable. Almost, dare he say, cool. Fun.

Gerard glanced over at the wall. The photos he’d been staring at all his life were rearranged, and now there were two additional smiling faces among them.

He couldn’t help but think that it looked good. A dad, a mom, and two sons. For once, they looked like a family.

He remembered Don and Mikey’s first night here. Gerard had been a total dick to them, just because he didn’t wanna share his house, his school, his mother. But now, after a month and a half, he couldn’t imagine those faces not being plastered up on the walls next to his and his mother’s. Now that he was used to the idea, he was perfectly content with sharing his life. Mikey and Don had become family, right under his nose.

Gerard could safely say that he and Mikey were no longer enemies. They were acquaintances. Now that Gerard had pulled his head out of his ass, if he made an effort, one day he and Mikey could call themselves friends. Maybe one day, they’d even be brothers.

This house was too big for just two people, anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

"Frank!"

Frank turned around when he heard Gerard call his name. He smiled that smug, cocky lopsided grin of his when he saw the boys walking his way.

Gerard and Mikey had brushed the last chips off their shoulders about a week ago, and they'd been walking to school together ever since. When they finally decided to let go of their judgmental sides, they clicked almost instantly. It was as if the past almost two months had never happened; like they'd known each other their whole lives. They bickered over stupid shit (like who would win in a fistfight, The Thing or The Incredible Hulk), they agreed on even stupider shit (like the fact that Speedball was the worst superhero ever to grace the panels of a comic book), and they politely respected each other’s music tastes (Gerard was a hardcore Queen fan, while Mikey was convinced that Van Halen was the best rock band out of the 70’s).

Frank was having the time of his life, having two friends to talk about music and comics and movies with.

There were still some awkward lulls between Mikey and Gerard, but that was to be expected. For two people that hated each other three weeks ago, they were doing fantastic. There was hope for them after all.

****

" _Happy birthday_!" Gerard and Mikey screamed in tandem as they snuck up behind Frank. He jumped, threw his books all over the hallway, and almost shrieked.

"Jesus fucking Christ, guys!"

"Iero!"

"Sorry, Mr. Dutton," Frank called to the teacher in the room across the hall. "Were you two _trying_ to stop my heart?"

Gerard shrugged. "The school’s got a defibrillator around here somewhere."

"I’ve got an inhaler in my backpack," Mikey offered.

Gerard looked at Mikey in confusion. "You don’t have asthma."

"My parents thought I did for a long time. Turns out, I just _really_ suck at running."

Frank and Gerard both laughed.

"You want your present now?" Gerard asked.

"Of course!"

"Wait, wait, wait! I thought we agreed that he couldn’t have it until after school."

"Ooh, what is it? What is it?" Frank asked, all too eagerly. "Are you two gonna double-team me?" He asked with a giant smile on his face.

Darrin and his girlfriend Summer were walking past as Frank said that, so they both stopped and gave Frank dirty looks.

"Fag!" One of them yelled as they walked away.

"Yeah, that’s right! And these are my bitches so don’t nobody fuck with them!" He yelled down the hall.

"Iero!"

"Sorry, Mr. Dutton. So about that threesome…"

Mikey scoffed and Gerard rolled his eyes

"What? It’s not weird unless you're related by blood."

"Shut up, Frankie."

All three froze. Mikey didn’t realize what he was saying until it was out of his mouth. Frank was waiting for the boom, and Gerard was considering how he felt, hearing Mikey use his coveted nickname for his best friend.

After a second, he smiled. "Yeah, shut up, Frankie."

"What did you get _meeeee_?" Frank whined.

"Shut the fuck up, Frank!"

"Rush!"

"Sorry, Mr. Dutton!"

"You can’t have it until after school."

Mikey clearly wasn’t caving, so Frank turned those big hazel eyes on Gerard. Gerard always folded when Frank gave him The Eyes. Unfortunately for Frank, Mikey saw what he was trying to do immediately. He clamped a hand down over Gerard's eyes and pulled him away.

"Oh no, you don’t! You know, you're lucky at least _one_ person in this family has a backbone," he said to Gerard, finally releasing him.

"Speaking of family…" Gerard trailed off.

Mikey looked down at his shoes, shrugging. "I’m not sure yet."

"Me neither. No offense."

"Of course not."

With awkward half-smiles, the boys parted and headed for their third-hour classes.

****

Gerard hardly focused the entire day. That wasn’t particularly abnormal, but what was on his mind was.

He was thinking about his mother and Don. The more he thought about Don, the more he realized that he really liked him. He liked the way his mother was when she was with him. She smiled more. She seemed less stressed. She laughed a lot more. These past two months had been a whirlwind. So much anger, so much pain. And now, finally there was a little happiness. A rainbow after the tornado.

****

"Where are we going?"

"Shut up and finish your make-up."

"Tell me where we’re going!"

"You don’t like surprises, do you, Frank?"

"He never has. Impatient motherfucker."

"Fuck you both!"

"You may be stronger than one of us, but I bet if we team up, we can take you."

"Ooh, so you _are_ gonna double-team me!"

Mikey and Gerard both rolled their eyes and Frank cackled.

"There," Gerard said with a final swipe of black under his eye. "We look like some scary motherfuckers!"

The boys had all been standing at the long bathroom counter applying corpse paint for the past hour, Gerard and Mikey still refusing to spill the beans about Frank's present.

"We do look scary," Mikey commented.

"Sexy, too," Frank said, turning around and shaking his ass. "I’d fuck all three of us."

Mikey and Gerard shared a look that, thankfully, Frank didn’t see. Gerard never told Frank that he confessed their secret to Mikey. After they'd finally started talking to each other again, they swore they’d never speak of it to anyone.

"So, where are we going?"

"Actually, we _should_ get going," Gerard said, checking the time on his phone. "It’s nearly a two-hour drive, and we’re gonna be late."

The trio walked downstairs and started gathering their things; sweatshirts, wallets, phones.

"We’re not doing candy first?"

"No. Mom and... Don are gonna take care of it."

Mikey looked at Gerard, who blushed. He was just about to call Don ‘Dad’. A month ago, that would’ve made Mikey livid. Now, it just made the very corners of his mouth turn up in a subtle smile.

"Then where are we going all dressed up like freaks?" Frank asked.

Mikey and Gerard shared an evil grin.

****

The two-hour drive didn’t seem long enough. It passed quickly, the three boys laughing and telling jokes and listening to angry angsty punk way too loudly.

Gerard almost pissed himself laughing at the reaction of the girls at Wendy’s drive-through. The one that took their money screamed when they pulled up, but the girl who handed them their food (with a side cut and a snake tattooed on her wrist) smiled and threw them the horns as they drove away.

Frank finally figured out his present as they drove up to the amphitheater. His face was so priceless that Gerard snapped a picture with his phone, saving it as potential blackmail one day.

"Is this really happening right now?" He asked, his voice edging toward frantic as he read and reread the marquee. "Misfits _and_ Alice Cooper? Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?" He looked down at his lap. "I think I just came!"

Mikey laughed and Gerard groaned.

"Are you guys for real?"

"Actually, the concert _we’re_ going to is down the street. Bon Jovi and Eddie Money."

Frank's smile dropped in an instant, and the way he glared at Gerard made Gerard giggle.

"I’m kidding!"

"What’s wrong with Eddie Money?" Mikey asked defensively.

Gerard rolled his eyes and they got out of the car. He and Mikey both needed to keep firm grips on Frank's hands to keep him from sprinting into the venue.


	12. Chapter 12

"That was totally wicked! That was the best three hours of my life! Did you see how I dominated that pit? So much fire and pyrotechnics and such _freaking amazing music_! That was better than sex!" Frank sighed and threw himself down on the backseat. "I feel like I just fucked everyone I've ever fucked in the span of three hours."

"How many people _have_ you fucked?" Mikey asked.

Frank sat up, leaning forward between the driver’s and passenger’s seats. "I’m not exactly sure. Drunk Frank likes to fuck anything that walks on two legs. Drunk Frank is kind of a whore."

"Just like Buzzed Frank," Gerard threw in with a smile, "And Tipsy Frank. And Sober Frank. High-As-A-Kite Frank. Tripping Frank. Ooh, let’s not forget Bored Frank!"

"We get it!"

Mikey snickered when Frank smacked Gerard in the back of the head.

"Speaking of High-As-A-Kite Frank, text Donna and tell her you guys are spending the night with me. I've got some awesome bud at home."

"Oh, I don’t think so. We’ll come spend the night, but you are _not_ smoking me up. Last time you got me high, I puked for three hours."

"Can’t handle your smoke?" Mikey asked with a chuckle.

"Okay, first of all, you weren’t anywhere _near_ high! You got like, half a shotgun from me and coughed it all out almost immediately. And two, Dumbass forgot to tell me he was getting sick," Frank explained to Mikey, then looked back at Gerard, "You were puking from the flu, not from the weed. If I remember, you were bedridden for eight days afterward."

" _Why_ do you remember that?"

"Cuz without you, I was the only one in Biology that refused to dissect the fetal pig. They made me do it, anyway."

"Well, they _tried_ ," Gerard said with a smile, pulling into Frank's driveway.

"This oughta be good."

"I cried the entire period. I sat there bawling, refusing to touch it. Miss Morrow wasn’t amused. She said that if I didn’t touch it, she was gonna fail me for the entire year. So I reached out, grazed its snout with one finger and vomited all over the lab."

Mikey sputtered, trying to bite his tongue to keep from laughing hysterically.

"She didn’t make me touch it again after that."

Mikey almost fell out of the car, he was laughing so hard.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yuk it up, fucker," Frank muttered, unlocking the door and following the boys inside. "Come on," He said, leading the boys upstairs after locking the door back up.

"Where’s Linda?" Gerard asked.

"Albany. Conference."

The three climbed the stairs and walked into Frank's bedroom.

Mikey smiled in awe. It looked like a Guitar Center had a child with a record store, and that baby fucked Hot Topic and sucked off Journey’s on the same night, and this was what it threw up.

Three guitars sat in stands along the wall, records filled boxes, records and posters were tacked up on the walls, clothes and shoes and CDs covered the floor. Mikey had never seen a cooler room. He counted three holes in the walls, presumably from fists (Frank had a wee bit of a temper) and would bet any money that there were more concealed behind some of the posters.

"If you wanna sit, you can just push that shit on the floor," Frank said, motioning to the computer chair Mikey was standing behind. He did, but only after noticing that Gerard had crawled onto Frank's small bed with him.

Frank bent over his nightstand, and as soon as he opened the drawer, the room was filled with the scent of skunk.

"Jesus, Frank, where did you get that shit?"

He smirked. "Hambone."

"That explains it. How does he always have such amazing smoke?"

"Don’t know," Frank shrugged, "Don’t wanna know."

He broke the weed up and filled a glittery purple and black pipe. Mikey was delighted when he saw Jack Skellington’s face on the bowl pack.

"You ever smoked?" Gerard asked Mikey.

"Yeah, I used to get high all the time with Gabe," Mikey said, not realizing the sore subject he’d brought up until the words were out of his mouth.

A heavy feeling fell on the room. Gerard had never said so, but he assumed that Mikey knew that he told Frank everything he knew about Gabe. Mikey was aware, and he didn’t mind. He was actually kind of glad that he didn’t have to tell him himself.

"How old is Gabe?" Frank wondered aloud.

"He-" Mikey cleared his throat, "He turned 22 on the 11th."

Gerard did some quick math in his head, and his face contorted in anger. "That sick fuck," He whispered venomously.

"What?" Frank asked.

"He was _nineteen_?"

Mikey wouldn’t raise his head. "Yeah," He whispered.

"What?" Frank asked again.

"Mikey was only fifteen," Gerard explained.

Frank’s jaw dropped. "That’s fucked up."

"He got held back a couple years. I never introduced him to Dad, cuz I knew he wouldn't like me hanging out with someone so much older," Mikey said, finally raising his head. He hadn’t mentioned the letter to Frank, and Gerard hadn’t, either. And judging from the look Mikey was giving him, he didn’t want Frank to know.

"If I ever see that disgusting excuse for a human being again, I swear to Christ, I will put him in the fucking ground," Gerard warned, his voice breaking. Hot tears of anger spilled down his cheeks. Mikey and Frank both looked away to let Gerard wipe his face.

This little tidbit of information made the letter even worse. It made Gabe more than just a sadistic asshole. It turned him into a sadistic, disgusting, perverted sex offender that took advantage of Mikey's age for his own sick pleasure. Gerard wanted to close his hands around his throat until he stopped breathing. There was a special place in Hell for him, and though Gerard was generally a non-violent person, he wanted to be the one to send this fucker there.

He snatched the pipe from Frank and dug in his pocket for his lighter.

Gerard took a big hit, and then held the pipe out to Mikey. Though he hesitated at first, he finally took it from Gerard, and took a big hit also.

The bowl made its way around the room three times before it was cashed and the three boys were left wide-eyed and giggling.

"I have to pee," Frank announced, crawling over Gerard to get off the bed. He succeeded in almost kneeing Gerard in the balls, and almost falling to the floor. But eventually he made it to the door and down the stairs. Mikey and Gerard heard a thump and an "Ow! Motherfuck!", which had them hysterical.

"First time high?" Mikey asked, taking Frank's spot on the bed next to Gerard.

"Yeah. I've smoked before, but never like _this_!"

"When Gabe and I finally decided to sleep together, I wanted to get high before, but he told me not to. He said it would make me cloudy and numb, and that he wanted me to feel everything. I used to think it was because he wanted me to have fun," He chuckled sarcastically, "But now I know it was because he wanted me to feel the pain. I always figured it was because I was a virgin, that that was why it hurt so bad," Mikey said, slumping back against the wall, "Now I know that he was trying to hurt me. He worked for those tears, and I just gave them to him. I couldn’t wipe them away fast enough. But maybe it was a good thing he saw them. If he hadn’t, God only knows how many more times he would’ve fucked me, hurt me, trying to get them," Mikey rambled, having long ago forgotten that Gerard was listening.

A frown set in on Gerard's face. He realized that he was getting 100% Mikey right now. No filters, no censorship. This was raw, real Mikey. And it was breaking Gerard's heart.

"I knew I wasn’t ready. I told him ‘No’ for months. I didn’t want to, but I loved him, you know? He wanted to sleep with me, and I wanted to make him happy. I just wanted to feel loved. My parents had split, my mom was sick. I wanted to feel something that wasn’t anger or misery. I loved him, Gerard," Mikey said, his voice breaking. He leaned his head on Gerard's shoulder, "I loved him. I trusted him, and he threw it back in my face. I just wanted him to love me. He _said_ he loved me. He lied. What did I do? What did I do to make him hurt me? What's wrong with me?"

He finally broke down, sobbing on Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard bit his lip to keep his own tears down. This wasn’t about him. This was about Mikey. He wrapped his arm around Mikey's slender frame, hugging him tightly.

"You didn’t do anything. You didn’t deserve that torture he put you through. He's fucked in the head, Mikey. You did nothing wrong. This is not your fault, okay?"

He felt Mikey nod against his shoulder. Gerard turned his head to press a soft kiss to Mikey's hair. Mikey just cried, and Gerard held him tighter.

What kind of person could even think of hurting Mikey like that? He was so frail, so vulnerable, especially then, with the wounds of his parents’ divorce still fresh, and his mother on her deathbed. He was so breakable. And Gabe just shattered him, like a wine glass on cement. Gerard never realized how scarred Mikey really was. Until now.


	13. Chapter 13

Gerard squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to fall back asleep. He didn’t wanna face Mikey. He knew that he'd just see the heartache in his eyes, the heartache he'd finally confessed to Gerard.

He gave up on trying to go back to sleep quickly. He moved to stretch, and felt another body on Frank's small bed with him. A leg was between his, a head on his chest, an arm laying across his stomach.

This wasn’t unusual. When Gerard slept over, nine times out of ten, he slept in Frank's bed with him, regardless of the fact that it was so tiny. And Frank was a cuddler.

Gerard stopped being creeped out the second time it happened. It wasn’t like it was terrible. He himself craved the contact, the intimacy of it. Frank was an amazing cuddler. Soft and warm, and the .01% of Gerard that was still in love with him was always on Cloud Nine.

But no, this wasn’t Frank. Too sharp, too bony, too skinny, and too tall.

Gerard ran his fingers through the mousy brown hair.

"Mikey. Mikey, come on. Wake up. Mikey."

Mikey groaned and hugged Gerard tighter, which made him laugh.

"Mikey."

Mikey finally opened his eyes. When he saw that he was all up on Gerard, his eyes widened and he scrambled away, scampering to the end of the bed farthest from Gerard.

"I’m sorry," He said quickly.

"For what?" Gerard asked, sitting up and trying to comb the knots out of his hair with his fingers.

Mikey relaxed a bit. "I don’t know. For… being all…" He motioned to Gerard, who laughed.

"Don’t worry about it. Frank’s a cuddler, too. I'm used to it."

Mikey actually smiled then. "Speaking of Frank, where is he?"

"Probably passed out on the bathroom floor. When he's really high, he kinda develops narcolepsy. There have been times when he’s been mid-sentence and just gone down. We were at the park once and he fell asleep hanging from his knees on the monkey bars. I was horrified that he was gonna fall and break his neck. I'm torn between finding it terrifying and hysterical."

Mikey chuckled. He went to stand, but Gerard stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Are you okay?"

Mikey sunk back down to the bed. He sighed deeply. "As okay as I’ll ever be."

That made Gerard frown.

"I’m sorry. I'm trying, Gerard. Trying to get past this and push Gabe out of my head, but… Three years, he was my best friend. One of my only friends. He had such an impact on me and I have so many memories of him."

"Make new memories. Gabe is sick. You know that, right?"

"Gerard…" Mikey sighed.

"No, just listen to me. Maybe I can help push him out of that thick skull of yours. Please tell me that you know that what he did to you was-"

"He didn’t _do_ anything to me. I agreed."

"You agreed," Gerard cut in, "Simply because he wouldn’t give up. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you were just a kid. You were a child, and your innocence was stolen from you. He didn’t deserve you, at all. Not as a friend, not as a boyfriend, and certainly not as a lover. He’s disgusting, and you deserve better. You need to let him go. You're better than him. Please tell me you know that."

Mikey smiled feebly, then nodded. "I do. Thank you, Gerard."

In a very un-Mikey like moment, he leaned forward and gripped Gerard in the tightest, sweetest, most heartfelt bear hug Gerard had ever had the pleasure of being in.

They separated, and just as Gerard was about to stand, Mikey set a hand on his cheek, pulled him in and kissed him, as tenderly and sweetly as he could. As soon as Mikey's lips left his, Gerard’s jaw dropped.

"That makes two people," Mikey whispered.

Gerard chuckled softly.

Mikey gave Gerard one final hug, then he stood and walked out the door. He left Gerard with his heart pounding, his lips tingling, and the sweetest of smiles on his face.

****

"You think Frank liked his gift?"

"Are you kidding? He practically creamed his pants when he read the marquee! He said it was better than sex, and if there’s one thing Frank likes, it’s sex."

"Know from experience, do we?" Mikey teased, nudging Gerard in the side with his elbow.

"You _know_ I don’t," Gerard said, rolling his eyes.

He was a little surprised. It was like the kiss had never happened. There had been no awkward tension between the two of them whatsoever. The kiss was just a small, private gesture of love and kindness between that Gerard didn’t plan on ever sharing with anyone. Not even Frank.

Gerard pulled the car into the driveway, and before he could even put it in park, Mikey had flung the door open and was darting in the house. Gerard followed hastily, worried that something was wrong.

"Mikey, what's up?" he called after him.

"I gotta get this corpse paint off; it fucking itches!" He called from the bathroom.

"Mikey Way!" Donna yelled from the couch, her nose stuck in a cookbook.

"Sorry, Donna!"

Gerard laughed at how Don and Mikey had adopted his and his mother’s mannerisms, and vice versa. Not only was Donna now scolding Mikey for his dirty mouth like she did Gerard, but Gerard had found himself and Donna sitting down for breakfast together near daily, something they never used to do. That is, until Mikey and Don showed up. They ate breakfast together every day, and that family habit had rubbed off on them.

Gerard sat down on the couch, snuggling up to his mom. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder

"Hey, baby. What's up?"

"Nothing. What are you looking up?"

"Beef Wellington recipies. I'm looking to surprise Don. His birthday is next month."

"You don't need to change your Beef Wellington recipe. It's already too good. That's what made me fat in the first place."

"Oh, honey, you were never fat," Donna said, giving him a squeeze, "You were just fluffy."

Don walked in at the same moment Mikey came galloping down the stairs, face now back to its usual perfect ivory. Don ambushed him and pinned his arms behind his back.

"Dad! Let me go!" Mikey yelled.

"Not until you admit defeat and declare me your official Lord and Savior."

"Never!" Mikey said, wriggling out of his father's grasp and dropping to the floor. He stood and mimicked Don's posture, hands balled into fists in front of their faces.

"Move, remember? Left and right," Don said, side-stepping to avoid Mikey's jabs.

"I remember," Mikey replied, matching him step for step.

"You’re good," Don commented as Mikey dodged and countered his strikes. "But do you remember what the key to winning a fight is?"

Mikey shook his head.

"Leverage!" Don yelled, grabbing Mikey's arm and wrestling him to the ground.

"Okay, I give! You are my official Lord and Savior!

Don grinned, releasing him and sitting on the couch. "Actually," He whispered to Gerard and Donna, "I’m terrified of the day he’ll be able to beat me."

"That day is coming soon, old man!" Mikey warned, grabbing the leftover Halloween candy and settling into the recliner in the corner.

Watching Mikey horse around with his father made Gerard a little jealous, to be honest. Don was cool, and maybe one day, he could be the father that Gerard now realized he really did need.

He’d never been jealous of people with dads before. Frank had one, and though Gerard didn’t see him much, Frank was always bitching about him, saying that all he did was yell and ride Frank's ass about his grades and his love of illegal plants and underage drinking. Gerard never understood what was so awesome about having a father, until now.

Yeah, Don put Mikey in line when he was being a little brat, but he also always had an answer when Mikey had a question, he obviously had taught Mikey to fight, to never back down and to always stand his ground. Don was like one of Mikey's best friends, a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to talk to, advice, and guidance. Don was everything a father should be.

****

That night, while his mother was sitting up in bed, Gerard crawled up next to her.

"Hey, Mom."

Just like that afternoon, Donna slung her arm around Gerard's shoulders. "What’s up, baby?"

Gerard took a deep breath.

"So, a while ago, I overheard you and Don talking."

"Uh huh," Donna said absentmindedly, focusing on her crossword.

"You were talking about Mikey's mom."

Donna froze. "Okay."

"And you said something about someone named Adam."

Donna swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I love you. You know that, right?"

Donna smiled. "Of course."

"You’re pretty much the most amazing mom anyone could ever ask for. But seeing Mikey and Don has got me thinking…"

"Go on." She knew it was coming. She’d been dreading this day for years. But she knew it was gonna come up sooner or later, and he was old enough now. He had the right to know.

"My dad…" Gerard said softly, "Do you know who he is?"

Donna sighed. "Yes."

Gerard wanted to scream and curse and cry and storm out of the room all at the same time.

"You _know_ who he is?"

"Yes."

Gerard looked at her expectantly. She hugged him as tightly as she could.

"His name is Adam Marshall. He lives a few towns over. He owns a garage. You gotta understand, baby, I was young and dumb and drunk. I had no attraction to him, nor did I love or even _like_ him. We just happened to be in the same bar that night, and we ended up going home together, and…"

Gerard didn’t realize that his eyes had filled with tears.

"Does he know about me?" He whispered.

Donna shook her head. "He barely even remembers _me_. I regret it, Gerard, I really do. I wish I never would’ve walked into that bar that night. But I did, and because I did, I have a talented, amazingly perfect son. I regret _him_ , but not for a second do I regret you. You are my world. I wouldn’t trade you for an infinite amount of do-overs," She said, wiping his tears away. "I love you, honey."

He sniffled. "I love you, too."

****

Gerard's ass was barely in his computer chair before his fingers were flying across the keyboard. He went to the first source he thought of, typing the name ‘Adam Marshall’ into the search bar of Facebook.

Three people came up, but thankfully, only one from Jersey.

Gerard hovered his mouse above the name so long that his hand was starting to tingle from lack of movement. He focused himself with deep, calming breaths. In a matter of seconds, he would know all about his father. The books he read, the movies he liked, the music he listened to.

Gerard wasn’t 100% sure he was prepared to take this leap. This was his father, his biological father. The man whose flesh and blood was running through him.

Suddenly Gerard felt naked, vulnerable. He wished his mother would show up and hug him. If nothing else, he wished he could have Frank or Mikey there.

Gerard rolled his eyes at himself, mentally face-palming. He ran upstairs, knocking frantically at Mikey's door, though it was almost midnight and Mikey was usually in bed by 11.

"Mikey! Mikey!" He hissed, trying not to disturb or potentially wake up his mother and Don. Mikey threw his door open just as Gerard raised his hand to knock again.

"Gerard? What's up?" He yawned.

"I need your help."

Mikey finally noticed the look in Gerard's eye, the pale of his face, the sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"What’s up? Mikey asked again, his voice as serious as Gerard had ever heard it.

"I need you," Gerard breathed. The tiniest of smiles graced Mikey's lips.

He followed Gerard down to his room, looking around and taking in all the details he could. He'd never been in Gerard's room before. It was just like Frank's; messy, the floor covered in clothes, posters tacked up on the walls. If Mikey didn’t know better, after seeing their rooms, he would’ve sworn that Frank and Gerard were related by blood. Only one thing about their rooms differed; where Frank had a corner reserved for his guitars and amp, Gerard had a separate corner that housed his drawing desk, covered in pens and pencils and watercolors and oil pastels and sketchbooks and paint brushes. The corner was completed by a large easel that held a giant piece of canvas board, half-covered in mindless doodles that were really fucking good, regardless of the fact that Mikey could tell that they were drawn absentmindedly, out of sheer boredom. God, if he was that good when he was barely paying attention, Mikey couldn’t even imagine how amazing an artist Gerard must have been when he was completely focused and committed to his project.

"My mom told me my father’s name. So I looked him up on Facebook."

"Is that him?" Mikey asked, looking at the picture Gerard's mouse was hovering over.

"I think so. The only one in this state."

"So why-"

"I just," Gerard cut him off, "I'm scared. This is my father, Mikey. My dad. This is just… I wanna know, but I-"

"I get it. You need moral support."

Mikey reached out and grabbed Gerard's hand, interlocking their fingers. "I’m here."

Gerard smiled. He took a deep breath, turned to face his screen, and clicked on the picture.

The first thing he saw was his cover photo, which was a fully restored vintage Dodge Challenger.

"Into cars," Mikey said.

"Yeah, Mom said he owns a garage."

Gerard looked through his info. His garage was in Lodi. He liked classic rock, like Journey, Boston and Foreigner. He liked sports and sports movies, and apparently was really into the Fast and the Furious movies. Not a lot of books, but overall, he seemed normal. His pictures were private, but there was a pretty woman with him in his profile picture. After reading his ‘About Me’, Gerard assumed it was his girlfriend, Maria. He'd never been married before, and he didn’t have any other children.

His father. His dad.

"This is my dad, Mikey. He's been three towns over my entire life. _My father_ ," He whispered.

"Are you okay?"

Just then, Gerard felt the wetness on his cheeks.

"My dad," He said, standing, "This is my dad!"

Mikey smiled, and Gerard gave him the biggest hug he could.


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey, Gerard."

"What's up, Don?"

"I gotta run out and grab some things. Do you wanna come with?"

Gerard looked up from his Algebra. "Anything to avoid my math homework. I swear, if I have to find X one more time…"

Don smiled. "Yeah, I never liked math, either. Goes back as far as second grade. Every day, when it got time to do math, I mysteriously got sick and needed to go to the nurse. That lasted for about two weeks. After that, I was just sent to detention."

That made Gerard chuckle. He slammed his textbook shut, and all but ran out to the car. Gerard smiled when Don automatically flipped on the ‘classic metal’ station.

They walked around Wal-Mart for an unnecessary hour, just talking.

Don told Gerard about his high school years, how he was a star football player that gave up his popularity when he refused to haze the JV members. After that, he pretty much lived on the bottom rung of the social ladder.

They talked about Mikey and Alice and Donna.

Gerard learned that Mikey's panic disorder was almost a handicap when he was young. He did anything and everything to avoid going to school, and how the kids on the bus scared him so bad, every day he'd walk in the house crying.

Gerard told Don about Frank going crazy and kissing him in front of the entire school. Don told Gerard that Mikey came out to him and Alice by writing them a letter (Gerard knew that was a lie; that Gabe had been the one to write the letter), and Gerard told Don that he came out to Donna by calling her while she was at work and leaving her a voicemail.

When they finally pulled back into the driveway, Don turned off the car, but stayed where he was.

"Gerard?"

Gerard paused with his hand on the door. "Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you?"

They'd been talking all afternoon. Why would he ask _now_?"

"Sure."

Don took a deep breath. "I love your mom more than anything. You know that, right?"

"Of course."

"She’s probably the most amazing woman I've ever met. I love her dearly, and she loves me. And I love you, and she loves Mikey. We've become a family, in a strange way."

"True."

"But right now, it’s only a word. I knew as soon as I met Donna that I wanted her in my life. For the rest of my life."

"What is this about, Don?"

Don took another deep breath. "Gerard, I'm gonna ask your mother to marry me."

Gerard smiled, and was surprised to find out that he really was not necessarily opposed to the idea. They made a good couple. They made each other happy.

"That’s awesome, Don."

"I know it’s custom to ask the father’s blessing before asking for a woman’s hand in marriage, but I figured that since there’s absolutely nobody Donna loves more in this world than you, that it’s only fitting to ask _your_ blessing."

Suddenly, it felt like there was pressure, a huge weight pressing down on Gerard's chest. This decision was gonna change all of their lives.

"I, uh… I need some time to think about it."

"Of course. I’ll see you inside."

Don gave Gerard one more smile, and got out of the car. Gerard watched Don walk away.

This was a great responsibility, a life-changing decision. And it all rested in his hands.

****

Three days later, Gerard made another huge decision.

He was sitting at the kitchen counter doing his homework when Mikey came galloping down the stairs, set on raiding the fridge.

"Hey, Mikes, I have a question for you."

Mikey stood and turned, a puzzled, yet amused look on his face. "What did you just call me?"

Gerard felt himself blush. "I called you ‘Mikes’. It just slipped out. I'm sorry."

"I don’t mind," Mikey said with a small, thoughtful smile, "I like it."

Gerard ducked his head in embarrassment for a moment, and then lifted it back up, and thankfully, Mikey wasn’t looking at him anymore. "So anyway… I have a question for you. Actually, it’s more of a favor."

"Shoot."

"I think… I think I want to go to Lodi today."

Mikey's eyes widened. "You wanna go meet your father." It wasn’t a question.

Gerard nodded. "Yeah. Will you come with me?"

Another small smile crossed Mikey's face. "You want _me_ to go with you? Not Frank?"

Gerard fidgeted, playing with his pen to avoid Mikey's eyes. "Well, you were with me when I first found him. It only seems right that you be with me when I meet him."

Mikey's smile got even bigger. "I’d be honored."

Gerard breathed a giant sigh of relief. He didn’t know why, but a substantial part of him was really scared that Mikey would say no. But he didn’t know why he was so worried. He just was.

"Thanks, Mikes. Let’s go."

"You’re doing homework."

Gerard rolled his eyes. "It’s Algebra. Whoever decided to mix math and letters is a dick."

Mikey laughed and ran upstairs to grab his shoes.

****

Gerard couldn’t keep still the entire drive. He was shaking his leg and tapping his fingers on the dashboard and almost buzzing. It was cute, how excited he was. It kept Mikey smiling the entire drive.

Mikey pulled up outside the imaginatively named ‘Adam’s Garage’, turned off the car, and looked at Gerard. His eyes were closed and he was almost hyperventilating.

"Here," Mikey said, reaching in his pocket and pulling out a bottle. "Take this," He ordered, handing a small, off-white pill to Gerard.

"What is it?"

"Luvox. It’s for my anxiety."

Under normal circumstances, Gerard would never even think of taking prescription pills not prescribed to him, but he figured that he better not object. He really did need it, after all. He tossed the pill into his mouth and chased it with a swig of Dr. Pepper.

"You’ll feel better in about five minutes."

"Thanks," Gerard said, grateful and a little touched that Mikey was thinking about his wellbeing enough to grab his anxiety pills in case he'd need one.

"You ready?"

Gerard took another deep breath. "Yeah."

They hesitantly left the car, and Mikey grabbed Gerard's hand, squeezing it gently.

The pretty girl from Adam’s Facebook picture was sitting behind the counter, filing her nails. She put the file down when she saw the boys.

"Hi! Can I help you?"

"We’re looking for Adam," Gerard said uncertainly.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Actually, we have an offer we think he might like. Mint condition ’67 Chevy Impala," Mikey took over, and Gerard was grateful.

"I’ll let him know," The lady said, picking up the phone and speaking quietly.

'Thank you’, Gerard mouthed to Mikey, and Mikey squeezed his hand in response.

The woman hung the phone up. "He’s in his office. Go right in."

"Thank you."

The pair walked into Adam’s office, not exactly knowing what to expect. Adam was sitting with his feet propped up on the desk, a cigarette between his lips and a beer in his hand. He looked normal enough, exactly like the grease monkey he was. Dark, curly hair sticking out from under his trucker hat, oil-stained t-shirt and jeans, work boots. His stubble was coming in grey, and his face was etched with wrinkles, no doubt from his countless hours spent bent over whatever engine he’d been working on at the time.

"I hear you gentlemen have a car for me."

"Actually, that was a lie."

Gerard took a step forward, finally releasing Mikey's hand. They had this conversation in the car; Gerard was gonna tell him.

"Do you know Donna Rush?"

A sly smile crossed Adam’s face, and then faded. "Yeah, I know Donna. Why?"

Gerard inhaled deeply. "I’m her son."

Adam’s face went blank, and he set his feet on the ground. "You’re Donna’s kid? Her only kid?"

Gerard nodded.

"Hm. I thought you looked familiar."

"What?"

"Yeah," Adam said, putting his feet back up on the desk, "I come into the book store all the time. She’ll give me one of your school pictures; tell me a little bit about you."

Gerard's jaw dropped. "You know who I am?"

"Unless Donna’s been lying to me these past 18 years, you're my son. Gerard, right?"

Gerard nodded, stunned.

"Sorry for the name. I wanted Samuel, but she said that I didn’t have a say."

"You knew? You knew for almost two decades that you had a son, and you didn’t care? You never reached out to me?"

Adam shrugged. "Donna told me she didn’t need any help. I wasn’t ready for kids, anyway. Kind of glad she took over. Independant woman, that gal. To be honest, she's a little intimidating.

"Are you kidding me?"

"I like the easy life. Hell, my girlfriend’s only a few years older than you. I don’t like to be tied down."

"You were never even curious? You never wondered about me?"

"Looks like you turned out fine. A little… creepy and gothic for my taste, but other than that, you seem normal. Not in jail, not cross-dressing, not a drug addict, are you? Don’t got any rug rats of your own running around yet. You didn’t need me."

"Are you fucking serious?" Gerard screamed, "I didn’t _need_ you? I was a kid! I needed a father! Something besides Donna. I needed _something_! You don’t get to do that! Be irresponsible, fuck around and make a kid, then decide that you're not ready for the responsibility and walk away!"

"Well, I'm sorry, but-"

"You never even stopped to think that I might have needed you? You just decided that I was _fine_ without you?"

"Listen, kid, I'm sorry. But I'm not cut out to be a dad. I'll be the first to admit it. I drink, I smoke, I cuss. I chase a new girl every month. I stay out all night and sleep all day. Trust me, you _are_ better off without me. You don’t want me as a father. And besides, I wasn’t ready to give up my life."

"You think Donna was? You think Donna didn’t have dreams? You think Donna wanted to work 15-hour shifts six days a week? You think she wanted to give up her social life in exchange for Lamaze classes? You think I didn’t fuck her life up? You think she _wanted_ this?" Gerard roared so loud that Mikey even jumped. "She had plans, things she wanted to do with her life! But she gave all that up for me, to give me somewhat of a normal life, because _you_ weren’t man enough to! Because _you_ wanted to fuck around and be an immature bastard! That’s not how life works! You made your bed, and because you were a fucking coward, Donna had to lie in it!"

"Kid-"

"Fuck you," Gerard laughed bitterly. "You're right; I was better off without you. What kind of role model would you have been? I don’t need that kind of weakness and cowardice in my life."

Gerard turned around and stormed out, Mikey hot on his heels. They passed the girl from the desk, who walked into Adam’s office and immediately started shouting.

"You have a son? A son you’ve never told me about?"

"Maria-"

"A son you’ve never bothered to meet? How could you do that? How could you just let him go for 18 years thinking that he didn’t have a father? How could you just let his mother bear that burden alone? That’s pretty spineless, Adam, even for you."

Gerard didn’t hear anything else. He couldn’t hear anything over the blood rushing through his ears. He slipped into the car, slamming the door as hard as he could.

Mikey didn’t say a word, driving in silence. He knew that there was nothing he could say that would help, or even make Gerard feel better. Gerard needed to be angry; he'd let Gerard be angry.

Gerard just sat and let the tears slip down his face, grateful for some strange reason that he didn’t start crying until after they'd left. After lecturing his deadbeat father about being weak, he didn’t want to show any weakness himself.

He was an idiot. He never should’ve tried to find his father. He should’ve left it alone, like Donna wanted him to. This wasn’t a good idea, it was stupid.

Adam was a creep. He wasn’t father material. Not like Don. Don was nice and supportive, even in the toughest of times. Don, in three months, had been a better father than Gerard’s own. He’d been a better father than Gerard could’ve ever asked for. He took on Gerard as his own, though he didn’t need to, as Gerard was fully grown and fully capable of taking care of himself. He treated Gerard no differently than he treated his own flesh and blood son. Don was the kind of person that, if Gerard could pick, he'd choose as his father.

Don was who Gerard _wanted_ as his father.


	15. Chapter 15

"Mikey, honey, where's Gerard?" Donna asked, noticing the empty chair at the dinner table.

"I, uh… I don’t think he's in the mood to eat. He didn’t have a very good day."

"What happened? He was fine when he got home from school."

Mikey sighed. He knew that Gerard had wanted to keep this secret, but Mikey knew that he really needed to talk to Donna about this. She needed to know.

"We went to Lodi today."

Donna's face went white, and she almost dropped her water glass. "Oh, no," She whispered.

"What's in Lodi?" Don asked.

Donna just shook her head and ran downstairs.

"What's in Lodi?" Don asked again.

"Gerard's father," Mikey whispered.

Don frowned. Apparently he knew what a sleaze Adam was.

Donna walked down the stairs slowly, cautiously, making sure to make her presence known.

"Baby?"

"Not now, Mom," Gerard whispered over his shoulder from where he was curled up on his bed, facing the wall. His voice was hoarse and watery, and it broke Donna's heart.

"Oh, baby," She said, walking over to his bed and sitting down. "I am so sorry, honey," She said, reaching out to rub his back. "This is exactly why I kept it a secret. I know what kind of person he is, and he is _not_ a father. That’s why I told you he didn’t know about you. I was trying to protect you, sweetheart. I wanted to keep you as far away from him as possible."

Gerard sat up and wiped his face. "You did. You told me not to pry, and I didn’t listen. I deserved it."

"No, baby," Donna said, wrapping her arms around her son. "You didn’t deserve any of this."

"I don’t know why I tried to find him," Gerard sobbed quietly, "Nothing ever works out like it does in the movies."

"I told you, he is an absolute regret. He's not the kind of person I would’ve chosen as your father. He's not-"

"He’s not Don," Gerard cut in. "Why couldn’t you have found Don 18 years ago, Mom? I've told myself my entire life that I didn’t need a father, didn’t _want_ one. It was all a lie. I _do_ need a father, I _want_ one. I want Don. I love him, Mom. Mikey, too. They’re family. When did that happen?"

Donna chuckled through her tears. "I’m not sure, baby. But I'm sure glad it did," She said, hugging Gerard as tightly as she could.

****

The next morning while Gerard was waiting for Mikey to finish in the bathroom, Don came strolling down the stairs. He walked over to Gerard and put his arm around his shoulders.

"Heard you had a rough day yesterday. I'm sorry."

Gerard shrugged. "I’ll be okay,"

"I believe that. You're a strong kid."

Don smiled at him, and made a cup of coffee. Just as he was about to walk back upstairs, Gerard stopped him.

"Don?" He asked softly.

Don U-turned. "Yes?"

Gerard took a deep breath, scared of sounding cheesy. "I would be so proud to have you in my family. And I would be honored if you would make me and my mother a part of yours."

A slow smile spread across Don's face. He set his coffee cup down on the counter, opened his arms, and Gerard fell into them.

"Thank you," Don whispered, before pressing a kiss to Gerard's hair.

Gerard smiled the biggest smile he could manage. Fuck Adam. Gerard was perfectly fine with the fucked-up family he had.

****

Gerard and Mikey were both called out of 5th period early, and both were surprised to see Don waiting in the office, stony-faced and silent. It scared the hell out of Gerard, and Mikey, without the help of his meds (his New Year's Resolution was to get off the pills, once and for all), was _trying_ to be calm. But underneath his still façade, he was jumping around and screaming. Silent was _not_ like his father.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

Don shook his head, not saying anything. He barely said a word while he signed the boys out, and he still wasn’t talking as the three got into the car and drove away.

"Don, _what is going on_? you're scaring the piss outta me."

Don let the silence ring for a moment, before he couldn’t take it anymore and burst out in hysterical laughter.

"I have never seen either of you so terrified! And I potty-trained _you_ , Mikey!"

Gerard heart couldn’t decide if it wanted to stop completely, or become a hummingbird. He was terrified that something had happened.

"What? What's going on?" He gasped.

"Nothing; we’re just going shopping."

" _That’s it_? _That’s_ why you pulled us out of school? You could’ve told us!"

"Yeah, but this was way more fun," Don answered, shrugging.

Mikey cackled in the backseat.

"You are an evil man!"

"Of course he is! Where do you think _I_ got it?"

"You boys hungry?"

"Yeah!"

"No!" Gerard groaned, clutching his torso. "I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat again."

"Wuss," Mikey muttered under his breath.

****

They wound up walking around the mall for two hours. Don had gotten his Christmas bonus (two weeks late, like every year), so he gave the boys his credit card and let them go hog wild with it.

Between the trips to Panda Express, Journey’s, Hot Topic, Zumiez, Spencer’s, Sephora (for new eyeliner and nail polish), Pretzel Time, Rock America, f.y.e., Orange Julius, and a stop at PetSmart so Mikey could torture himself by fawning over the puppies that Don's allergies wouldn't let him own, Gerard kept noticing that whenever they passed a jewelry store, like Pandora or Kay, Don would always pause and look at it before he kept walking.

On the way home, Don unexpectedly pulled into the parking lot of their local, family- run jewelry store. He turned to the boys.

"Okay, I confess. I had an ulterior motive in letting you boys max out my credit card. Like I told you a few months ago, Gerard, I'm planning on proposing to your mother. You’re still okay with that?"

"Absolutely." Mikey gave Gerard a look that was hard to read. He assumed it was because he had kept Don's planned proposal a secret.

"Will you boys help me pick the ring?"

"Of course we will, Dad," Mikey said with a smile, getting out of the car. Don and Gerard followed closely.

Don explained to the lady at the counter that these were his ‘boys’, and they were looking for a beautiful, vintage, one-of-a-kind ring as unique as Donna herself.

Sometime in the following 20 minutes, while Gerard supplied Don and the jeweler with information (Donna wasn’t a fan of gold, absolutely _hated_ rose gold, and always said she’d die before letting a childish heart-shaped diamond near her jewelry box), Mikey had wandered over to look at earrings. Gerard excused himself from Don's conversation and walked over to join him.

He pointed to the display case. "Those Ruby hoops would look fabulous on you, Mikes," He joked.

Mikey chuckled. "Nice try, smartass, but those are Garnets."

"How in the world-" Gerard mumbled, looking closely at those and the heart-shaped studs labeled as ‘Ruby’ next to them.

"Rubies are red."

"Those look pretty red to me."

"Yeah, in jewelry-store lighting. Garnets are rarely true red. They usually lean toward orange or purple, or ‘brown out’, which means that they look brown in certain light. Rubies are made from the same minerals as Sapphires, so they’re literally red Sapphires. Garnets can come in any color, are a lot softer so they’re more prone to wear and tear and damage than rubies, which makes them less desirable, and a fuck of a lot cheaper. Garnets are pretty much the poor man’s Ruby."

Gerard just stared at Mikey, one eyebrow cocked and his mouth hanging open.

"I used to watch a lot of QVC with my mom," Mikey explained.

Gerard shook his head, and then dropped his smile. "What’s up, Mikes?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just… you get this look in your eyes whenever someone mentions our parents getting married or us becoming brothers. I thought we were past that. If you’re really that opposed, better tell Don before he signs the warranty on the ring."

"No, it’s not that! It’s not that at all!" Mikey was quick to squash down Gerard's assumptions, which gave him hope that he was telling the truth. "First of all, even if I was opposed to them getting married, I’d never tell my dad not to. Who am I to just decide that my happiness supersedes his? And don’t worry cuz that’s not an issue. I am 100% for our families becoming one. I'm stoked. It’s nothing," He said, breaking eye contact and gnawing on the green straw stuck in his frappucino.

"Are you sure?"

"I promise." He smiled one of his short, sweet smiles, and it made Gerard's knees weak. He looked so young and innocent when he smiled like that.

"I’m holding you to that."

Mikey chuckled and he and Gerard walked back over to Don, who was holding a gorgeous princess-cut diamond ring, flanked on either side by deep blue triangular Sapphires.

"It’s beautiful," Mikey noted, "Is that the one you're gonna get her?"

"I think so," Don said with a huge smile.

"How much is it?" Gerard asked.

Don hissed. "I’m choosing not to use words like ‘cost’, and ‘salary’ and ‘bankruptcy’. I'm just thinking about how much I love your mother."

Don went with the clerk to size the ring (he’d had the forethought to nick a ring that Donna wore on her right ring finger from her dresser while she was showering that morning), and Mikey walked right up to Gerard, their arms brushing against each other’s. Gerard found himself wishing it was summer, so it would be Mikey's bare skin against his own. Mikey had uncannily soft skin. Gerard didn’t get to touch it very often, because they both liked their hoodies and jackets, but he was always grateful for a little bit of contact.

"So you're okay with sharing Donna?"

Gerard thought for a moment. Four months ago, he would’ve said ‘no’ in a heartbeat. Four months ago, he hated Mikey and he didn’t much care for Don. And now, Mikey and Frank were his best friends, and Don was the only person in the world Gerard would ever consider for his father. They were family now, and Gerard loved them both.

He slung his arm around Mikey's shoulders, bony even in a bomber jacket. "As long as it’s you and Don I'm sharing her with, I'm more than happy to take a couple steps back."

Mikey grinned, and pulled Gerard into a bear hug.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giving you a new chapter right away to make up for so long without one. I thought I uploaded the last chapter a few days ago but it turns out I just had it saved as a draft. Sorry!

"When should I do this? _How_ should I do this?"

"Is he always this nervous?"

"Do you need one of my pills?"

Don rolled his eyes. "I’ll be okay. I just don’t want it to be big and elaborate and gaudy. But I don’t want it to be underwhelming, either."

"Don, she’s getting _proposed_ to. I don’t think she’ll take it lightly."

"What’s a special place for you two? Where did you meet?"

"The book store."

"There you go!" Mikey said, snapping to emphasize his point, "Do it at the book store!"

"Just don’t do it when other people are around," Gerard advised, "Too impersonal."

"Yeah. Wait until she’s closing up and everyone’s gone."

"Okay," Don said with a deep exhale, "So that’s the ‘how’. What about the ‘when’?"

"You should do it on a Friday."

"Good call, Mikes! Yeah, do it on a Friday, since you both have weekends off. You guys can celebrate and start planning and calling family."

"How about next Friday?" He asked nervously.

"Sounds good. You know what you want, so why wait?" Gerard said with a reassuring smile.

Don stood and pulled both boys into a hug, which made Gerard's and Mikey's cheeks brush.

"Thanks, guys. You’ve been such good help today. So next Friday, I'll pick you guys up and we’ll all head over to the book store."

"All of us?" Mikey asked.

"Of course. I gotta have my wingmen with me, right?" He said, ruffling Mikey's hair. "Besides, it’s a family thing. I think Donna would want you guys there."

Gerard smiled. Every time someone said ‘family’, he got goosebumps. It had never been ‘family’ before, it was always just ‘Donna and her son’. But not anymore.

"I love you boys," Don said, kissing the tops of their heads.

Gerard hugged him a little tighter.

****

Gerard rounded the corner towards his 8th hour class and almost collided with another kid, barely managing to keep himself from falling on his ass.

"Sorry, man," He said, side-stepping around him. He was six lockers down before Gerard recognized him.

"Hey, Hurley?"

The kid turned around, his mop of red curls bouncing. "What?"

"Are you skipping?"

Andy grinned. "Nah, dude. Mr. McCormick isn’t here. You know the rules. I’ll see you tomorrow!" He called, walking away.

Andy was in Gerard's 8th hour, and school rules say that if your teacher doesn’t show up five minutes after the bell rings, class is cancelled. Apparently Gerard wasn’t the only one running late.

_All right! Free period!_

He U-turned and headed downstairs, making his way to the music hallway, where all the band and choir rehearsal rooms were. He walked straight into Ms. Wec’s room. She was the treble choir instructor, and possibly his favorite person in this entire school. She always let him come and help her during his study halls.

"What’s up, Wec?"

She looked up from her piano. "Rush! What a pleasant surprise! You’re not ditching class, are you? Because I can’t let you hang here if you are."

"Mr. McCormick was a no-show, so I got a free period. Can I hang here?"

"Of course. You may actually be of service to me today. Amy’s sick; we need a rock vocalist."

Gerard looked around, noticing the kids that were filing in with their instruments. He totally forgot that he’d walked into Jazz Band.

"I’m happy to be of service."

"That’s just what I like to hear, Rush!" Wec said, running to answer the phone that was ringing on her desk.

Gerard looked at the door just as Frank and Mikey walked in. Frank had Pansy, his Les Paul in his hands, and Mikey had a black Fender Precision bass slung across his shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" Frank asked.

"McCormick was M.I.A., so Wec’s letting me hang out here."

"That’s not all you’re doing, Rush! Grab some music. We’re doing ‘Renegade’."

Gerard scoffed. He didn’t need sheet music to sing Styx. 'Renegade' had been his favorite song when he was 11.

"I’m good," He said, adjusting the mic stand. Amy was pretty short.

About three quarters of the class took seats on the couches in the corner, while three guitarists (Frank, Ryan and Monte), two bassists (Mikey and Nick) and a drummer (Nia) set up in performance spot. Gerard had heard all of them play, except for Mikey. Monte wasn’t a good as Frank, but for a sophomore, he was pretty damn awesome. Ryan had potential, if he’d stop smoking so much pot. Nick was kinda ‘eh’. Besides Frank, the real stand-out here was Nia. She wouldn’t weigh 90 pounds sopping wet, but she wailed on those drums like an animal. Which was more than likely how she earned her nickname of ‘Animal’. That, and the full head of stoplight red hair she’d been sporting since 6th grade. She did bear a striking resemblance to the infamous Muppet.

The boys plugged in, Nia situated herself on her stool, and Wec was counting down.

"And 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4…"

"Oh, Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law," Gerard belted.

Nia hit the bass drum five times.

"Lawman has put an end to my runnin’, and I'm so far from my home."

_Thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump._

Mikey and Frank joined Gerard, providing back-up vocals for the next two lines. "Oh, Mama, I can hear you a-cryin’, you're so scared and all alone."

_Thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump._

"Hangman is coming down from the gallows, and I don’t have very long."

There was a second of silence before Frank got all up on his mic and yelled ‘Hey!’. Then the music started up.

"The jig is up, the news is out, they finally found me. The renegade that had it made, retrieved for a bounty. Never more to go astray, this’ll be the end today, of the wanted man."

Gerard realized suddenly that this was the first time Mikey had ever heard him sing, really sing. Not sing along with his iPod. It was also the first time he’d ever heard Mikey play. It was a little hard to hear, but Gerard could feel the bass shaking the floor and making his feet vibrate. Mikey was good. _Really_ good.

"Oh, Mama, I’ve been years on the lam, and had a high price on my head," He sang, taking the mic from the stand and strutting around the performance area. He probably looked a little flamboyant, but he couldn’t help it; he was a natural performer. "Lawman said ‘Get him dead or alive’, now it’s for sure he’ll see me dead. Oh, Mama, I can hear you a-crying, you’re so scared and all alone. Hangman is coming down from the gallows, and I don’t have very long. The jig is up, the news is out, they finally found me. The renegade that had it made, retrieved for a bounty. Never more to go astray, this’ll be the end today, of the wanted man. The wanted man!"

Gerard grabbed the mic stand and dragged it backwards, clearing center stage for Frank. This wasn’t the first time they'd performed together. They’d developed a synergy of sorts.

Frank walked up to where seconds earlier, Gerard's mic had been. He stood with his legs together, his hips jutting out, sliding his fingers up and down the neck at a frightening pace.

The entire room looked at him in wonder. Everyone, that is, except Gerard. Gerard had known for years how amazing of a guitar player Frank was.

Gerard glanced at Mikey, expecting him to be gawking at Frank like everyone else. But instead, he was smiling at Gerard.

Gerard heard the final notes of the solo, so he took Frank's spot, returning to center stage and placing his mic back in its stand.

"Oh, Mama, I’m in fear for my life from the long arm of the law. Hangman is coming down from the gallows, and I don’t have very long. The jig is up, the news is out, they finally found me. The renegade who had it made, retrieved for a bounty. Never more to go astray, this’ll be the end today of the wanted man. The wanted man! And I don’t wanna go!"

Frank, Ryan, Monte, Mikey, Nick and Nia finished the song, and the room erupted in applause.

"That was amazing, Gerard! You’re right, you really _do_ have the voice for rock. It just wasn’t made for choral music," Wec said as Gerard adjusted his mic one last time and stepped away.

"I know! I told you; I'm a rock star!"

Wec rolled her eyes. "Tailfeather is next!" She announced to the kids on the couches. Nia relinquished her drum kit to Sandra, Monte and Ryan gave their spots to Jake and Korey, and Nick unplugged, sitting down. Frank set Pansy in a stand and walked over to the edge of the room. Kellin took the lead mic from Gerard while Taylor, Jamia and Sierra stood between Mikey and Sandra’s drum kit, and Josh took his spot behind the piano. A couple kids grabbed various horns and stood next to Josh. Josh started a simple tune, and Kellin started singing.

"Well, I heard about the fella you been dancin’ with, all over the neighborhood. Why didn’t ya ask me, baby? Or didn’t ya think I could?"

The band started in, and Gerard started bobbing his head. "He’s really good," Gerard said, walking over to Frank and mimicking his posture; leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Dude, I told you that the first day I met him."

"This is the first time I've ever heard him play."

"Didn’t expect it, huh?"

"No," Gerard said with a smile. He was watching the group play; mostly watching Mikey. He was darting his eyes back and forth between all his bandmates, and his best friends.

"Dude, do you see the way Jamia is staring at you?"

Frank grinned. "Yeah. She wants my nuts hardcore. Can you blame her?"

"Somebody should tell her to Google ‘desperate’. And ‘obvious’, while she’s at it."

Frank laughed.

Jamia really _wasn’t_ leaving anything to the imagination. Her, Taylor and Sierra were singing and dancing, bending over and shaking their asses. Jamia was bent so far over that her tiny denim skirt was riding up her hips, and Gerard could see her underwear from all the way across the room. She hadn’t taken her eyes off Frank since she walked in.

"So what if she’s desperate? I don’t always like a challenge."

Gerard chuckled. "She’s cute."

"Cute? How about smoking hot? Don’t worry; I'm gonna fuck her. I'm just gonna make her salivate a little more first."

"You’re so cocky, Frankie."

"I prefer the term ‘charming’."

Gerard rolled his eyes with a smile.

He nudged Gerard's shoulder. "Looks like Jamia’s not the only one desperate for dick around here," He said, nodding toward Mikey. The song was over, and he and Nick were both plugged into amps, playing ‘Deuling Banjos’ back and forth. Nick was giggling and smiling like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Gerard scoffed. "He’s SOL. Nick isn’t Mikey's type." _At least he shouldn’t be_.

"And what's Mikey's type?"

Gerard thought for a moment. "Someone sweet. Thoughtful. Artistic, nice, humble. Someone who will appreciate how awesome Mikey is, and not just toss him aside. He needs someone to keep his feet on the ground while his head’s in the clouds. Someone that can handle all his quirks and issues like his paranoia and panic attacks. Someone gentle. Someone not like Gabe," Gerard explained, watching his soon-to-be-stepbrother. His hands plucked the strings and travelled up and down the frets effortlessly. He had a rare, unashamed, genuine smile on his face. Gerard couldn’t help but think that Mikey was downright adorable when he smiled like that. He looked young.

"When are you gonna tell him?" Frank asked suddenly, bringing him back to the conversation.

"Tell him what?" He asked, not taking his eyes off Mikey.

"That you have a crush on him."

Gerard jumped. " _What_?" He asked, nearly shrieking.

"I’m not blind, dude. You're my best friend; of course I can tell when you're diggin’ on someone."

"Frank! Why would you even say anything like that? He’s my _brother_."

"Not by blood. And you're not even brothers yet. Who says you can’t fuck?"

Gerard scoffed and walked away.

"Why does everyone make that noise at me?" Frank asked to himself, throwing his hands up.

****

_Frank is an idiot. He's always been an idiot; I don’t know why this is just shocking you **now**. He doesn’t know what the fuck he's talking about. You don’t have a crush on Mikey. You never have. You never will. You do not think his eyes are the most gorgeous shade of hazel you’ve ever seen. You do not love the way his hair falls in his face while he's bent over his desk or his bass or his iPod. You do not notice the way he smirks when Don tells a lame joke. You do not watch the way his lips move when he's mouthing along with his music. You do not stare at his stomach when his shirt rides up. You do not stare at his slender legs and cut ass in those skin-tight jeans. You do not salivate when you focus on the shadows his eyelashes throw across his face in the sun, or when you trace the dips and curves of his lips with your eyes, or notice how his small, pink tongue darts between those perfect, full lips to dampen them when he's nervous or focused. You do not think Mikey is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. You do not have a crush on Mikey. You are not in love with Mikey._

That’s what Gerard kept telling himself on the walk home. Though, he never realized exactly how much time he spent watching Mikey, memorizing his every crevice. And though he was trying as hard as he could to tell himself that this was all in his head, the entire walk home, all he could focus on was how close he was to Mikey, and how their arms brushed every so often.

_Fuck_.


	17. Chapter 17

Gerard and Mikey met Don in the office again that Friday, all three knowing that today was going to change all of their lives.

Don was practically hyperventilating the entire 20-minute drive to the bookstore.

"What if she says ‘No’?"

Gerard rolled his eyes. "She’s _not_ gonna say ‘No’."

"What if I lose the ring?"

Mikey tapped the bulge on his hip, where he’d stashed the ring in his pocket for safekeeping. "I got it! Trust me, this box is _not_ going anywhere. Did you see the struggle it took to even get it _in_ them?"

Gerard laughed, trying not to think of the way Mikey jumped and wiggled to get the rather large box into the pocket of his skin-tight jeans.

"What if I forget what to say?"

"Do you have a script?"

Don smiled. "No, but I've certainly thought a lot about it."

"Don’t prepare a script. Just speak from the heart. You'll be fine."

Don sighed. "I hope you're right."

Nobody said anything else for the remainder of the ride. They pulled up to the curb in front of the bookstore, and Don took a deep breath.

Mikey leaned over the back of the seat, rubbing Don's shoulders. "You can do this! You're gonna kick that proposal’s ass! Who’s the man?"

"I'm the man!"

"Who’s the man?"

"I’m the man!"

"Come on, Don! Let’s go propose!" Gerard said with a smile.

"All right guys, let’s go!"

The bell above the door chimed as the trio walked in.

"I’m sorry, but we’re closed," Donna called over her shoulder, too busy stocking books.

Mikey slipped the ring to Don, grabbed Gerard's hand and dragged him upstairs, both perching over the railing to get a good view. Mikey hadn’t let go of Gerard, instead squeezing his hand nervously.

"You sure you’re okay?" He whispered to Gerard.

Gerard just smiled and gave Mikey's shoulder a quick nudge.

"It’s a shame you're closed, cuz this is my absolute favorite bookstore," Don said, spinning Donna around and kissing her.

"Hey, honey."

"Hi, Mom!" Gerard called.

Donna looked up and chuckled. "Hi, boys. To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?"

"We just wanted to surprise you, and tell you how much we love you. How amazing you are and how you’ve completely changed all of our lives."

"Well," Donna said, wrapping her arms around Don's neck, "Don’t you know how to flatter a girl?"

"This isn’t about flattery, Donna. We just wanted to let you know how important you are, and how much we appreciate everything you do for us. For me. I remember the first time I met you. I thought I’d never have a chance with someone so fantastic, so smart and beautiful and courteous. But a week later, I took a chance and asked you out, and now, here we are, living together. We’re a family. I've never looked back, and I never plan to."

Gerard saw him take one hand off Donna's waist and reach into his pocket. When he pulled it back out, there was a small, blue velvet box in his hand.

"I love you so much, Donna. You're too amazing to put into words. I don’t know how to say exactly how much you mean to me, so I'm just gonna…"

He snaked out of Donna's grip, dropped to one knee and opened the box. The sapphires caught the light perfectly, accentuating the rather large diamond. Donna’s jaw dropped, her hands flew to her mouth, and Mikey squeezed Gerard even harder.

"Donna Rush, we love you. Will you do us the honor of making our families one? Will you marry me?"

Gerard smiled. It was perfect.

Donna took a deep breath. "Don, I… I don’t…" She looked up to Gerard, as if asking permission.

Gerard smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"I absolutely would be honored to marry you."

Mikey loosened his grip on Gerard, though not yet letting him go. He, Gerard and Don all blew out a relieved breath. Don stood, hugged Donna and swung her around.

"I love you," she said, kissing him.

Gerard turned to smile at Mikey, but he had picked up a book, and was reading the back of it.

"Come on, boys. Let’s go to dinner."

Mikey finally took his hand back, and Gerard ignored the fact that his instinct was to frown. He and Mikey walked down the stairs to follow Don and Donna out of the building. Gerard looked around when Mikey was suddenly no longer next to him, and saw him pull a $20 bill from his pocket and set it near the register, taking the book with him as he left.

When they were in the car, Gerard finally got to see the title of the book in Mikey's hands.

_Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance_.

****

For dinner, Don chose one of his favorite restaurants in his hometown, a beautiful formal place with silver flatware, crystal glasses, and a dessert cart. It was the kind of place old, rich people came to eat dinner at 4 in the afternoon. The first things Don did were order a bottle of champagne and announce to half the restaurant that he’d just gotten engaged. Apparently, that makes dessert free.

The mood was infectious. Everyone was in a good mood, laughing and joking and they couldn’t stop smiling. Someone even paid for their champagne, writing "Congrats, son! She’s gorgeous!" on the check.

Gerard didn’t even think about the risk they took, being back in town. The restaurant was in a pretty populated part of town, and Don drove a Chevy Malibu, which wasn’t necessarily a head-turner in its own right, except that Don’s had a deep purple paint job, which made it stick out like a sore thumb in even the biggest crowds.

They'd been eating in peace for over an hour and a half, so Gerard figured they'd be safe. But Mikey kept looking over his shoulder. Gerard reached over to squeeze his hand, hoping to nonverbally show him that he was okay. But Gerard was Gerard, and Gerard had the absolute worst luck in the world.

So when they heard a familiar voice tell the hostess "No, thank you; I'm just looking for someone," they both tensed up, and Mikey started visibly shaking.

Gerard looked up and saw Gabe sauntering up to their table, a sick grin on his face. Gerard gave Mikey a look that said ‘Don’t be scared’.

"Hey, Michael. I haven’t seen you in so long," He said when he finally reached the table. "What a coincidence, running into you." His voice was fake honey.

"This is the second time I've met you. Who are you?" Don asked.

"Hi, I'm Gabe. I went to school with Mikey," He said, reaching over the table to shake Don's hand. "I saw your car outside, and I figured I'd come say ‘hi’. I wish Tim was here," He said to Mikey, hostility so deep in his eyes, it was almosrt hard to miss, "He misses you, too."

Mikey's hands went clammy. Mikey had let it slip one day that Tim was the best friend that helped jump Mikey those years ago. Though it was hard to believe, Tim was an even worse memory than Gabe.

"Well, tell Tim I'm sorry I missed him, but he probably won’t see me again," Mikey said tersely.

"I know, you moved away. We’ll have to set a date for you to come visit," Gabe teased. Then he glanced down and saw Mikey's hand in Gerard's. His cheeks turned red; he was pissed, like he still felt like he had a claim on Mikey, and that him holding Gerard's hand was cheating. "Well, I should go. I’ll make sure to send you another letter," He said, turning to walk away.

Gerard suddenly felt the fire in his bloodstream. How dare he mention that sick, perverted letter? And in front of Mikey's father, no less.

Gerard stood suddenly, releasing Mikey's hand.

"Wait, Gabe, let me walk you out," He said, setting a hand on Gabe's shoulder and turning him toward the door.

"What-"

" _Walk_ ," Gerard hissed, low and threatening in Gabe's ear, "Or I will recite that fucking letter out loud. I'm sure Mikey's dad would love to hear it."

Gabe’s face went cold, but he started walking. Gerard wasn’t surprised, figuring that Gabe knew that not only could Don legally and physically kick his ass, but that he wasn’t above pressing statutory rape charges.

Mikey excused himself to escort them. He didn’t want Gerard alone with Gabe.

As soon as they were out of the restaurant, Gerard let go of Gabe, pushing him away harshly.

"What the fuck?"

"Shut the fuck up, you disgusting, sadistic excuse for a man."

"Listen, asshole, I don’t know who you think you are, but-"

Gerard got right up in Gabe's face, cutting him off. "I am Mikey's brother, the person he told every single detail about your relationship to. You’re sick. You perverted fucking pedophile!"

Gabe smirked. "So the little bitch told you, huh?"

Gerard went on the defensive, positioning himself between Gabe and Mikey, shielding him. "Don’t you dare talk about him like that. Yes, he fucking told me, and if my family wasn’t inside, I swear, you wouldn’t be conscious right now."

"Aww," Gabe whined, "Does he not like that memory? Is he ashamed? He should be; that skinny little shit spread his legs for me like a cheap whore. He did everything I asked."

Mikey squeaked out a noise. He clearly hated reliving this.

"Shut up."

"Do you not know? He’s a little slut! He loved sucking me off, no matter what he tries to tell you. All it took was a wink to get him on his knees. He’s really fucking good at it, in case you were wondering. Boy’s got an amazing mouth. And he swallows," Gabe teased with a wicked smile.

"Shut up!" Gerard yelled, clenching his fists in anger.

Gabe’s smile got bigger. "Look at him!" He pointed over Gerard's shoulder, and though he really didn’t want to, Gerard glanced back at Mikey, who was bright red from his hairline to the zipper of his hoodie. "Look at that blush! That’s how you know I'm telling the truth. You should see the way he looks with a load on his lips, the way he smiles. Don't let him lie to you; he fucking loves it."

"If you don’t shut up, I swear, I will fucking disfigure you!"

"Only thing better was fucking him. Remember that night, Michael? Of course you do. You were so nice and tight, and the way you moaned!" Gabe said with a chuckle. The fact that he was talking directly to Mikey now only made Gerard angrier. "Like the dirty little whore yo-"

Gabe's voice stopped suddenly, and Gerard felt a burning ache in his right hand. He wasn’t sure what exactly had happened, but suddenly Gabe was on his ass with blood pouring from his nose.

"Fuck!" He yelled, seeing the blood on his shirt.

Gerard looked at his hand and saw a bruise already forming on one knuckle, and another two scraped raw. He’d never hit anybody before. Violence was really more Frank's cup of tea, but apparently Gerard wasn’t bad at it.

"If you _ever_ try to make contact with Mikey again, either through letter or text or in person, I will make sure you walk with a limp for the rest of your life."

Gabe got up and walked to his car without even a look toward Mikey. Smart kid.

Mikey turned Gerard, lifting his hand to inspect it.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"That looks like it’s gonna be a pretty bad bruise."

"I’ll be okay."

Mikey dropped Gerard's hand and set a hand on either side of his face.

"You are amazing! That was so brave and sweet and you just kicked ass for me!"

"Of course I did, Mikes. Did you hear what he said? Listen to me; I don’t ever want you to think about Gabe again, you hear me? He is never allowed to taint your thoughts again. You’re too amazing, and as of right now, he’s nothing but a bad memory."

"Thank you. I can’t believe you actually just did that. You just took the person I hate most in this world, and put him on his ass. That is so awesome!"

"Nobody fucks with my family. I'd do it again for you in a heartbeat, Mikes. You're my brother. I love you." That felt good to admit, though Mikey didn’t know exactly how serious it was.

Mikey smiled like his breath was gone. He hugged Gerard as tightly as he could, and took his hand again as they walked back into the restaurant.


	18. Chapter 18

"Why didn’t you ever join Jazz Band?"

"I don’t know. I don’t think I'm cut out for it."

"Why?"

Gerard shrugged. "I'm not that good."

"Are you kidding? You're amazing! Did you see the way everyone was looking at you when you finished ‘Renegade’ the other day? I swear, there was not a dry pair of underwear in that room."

Gerard rolled his eyes as he unlocked the door and followed Mikey inside. "I’m _sure_ I don’t know what you mean," He said sarcastically.

"I’m _sure_ you do. Rock stars are irresistible."

"I'm far from a rock star, and _miles_ from irresistible."

Now it was Mikey's turn to roll his eyes. "You didn’t see yourself. You were strutting around and being sassy and looking all sexy and shit. Anybody in that room would’ve dropped to their knees for you in a second, Gee. Even the guys."

_I wonder if he realizes that he falls into that category_.

Gerard shook his head, because that train of thought needed to be derailed right away. The thought of Mikey on his knees was too much, and now was not the right time to pop a tent. Gerard filed that mental picture away for use later, when everyone was sleeping.

He thought instead about Mikey's comments. He’d called Gerard ‘sexy’. As much as he willed it not to, a blush crept its way up Gerard's cheeks.

"I wasn’t the only one bringing people to their knees," Gerard smirked at Mikey from behind his water bottle, "Or did you miss the way Nick was practically slobbering on your boxers?"

Mikey laughed. Jesus, Gerard loved that laugh. It was one of the single most adorable sounds he had ever heard.

"You’re not wrong. He certainly isn’t playing hard-to-get."

"He’s cute. Go for it." Those words left a bad taste in Gerard's mouth.

"Yeah, he's cute. He’s really nice, too."

"And so obviously in love with you."

Mikey laughed again, and it made Gerard's knees weak. "Yeah, but… I'm not _that_ guy. I'm not the kind of guy to have casual flings. As much as I love him, I'm not Frank."

"Casual fling? You just said Nick was cute and nice."

"But I didn’t say I was into him. I've actually been looking at someone else."

Gerard's stomach turned.

"Who?"

Mikey shook his head. "It doesn’t matter. He's never looked at me for more than two seconds, and certainly not like that. Sometimes I don’t think he even knows who I am."

"That’s cuz he's an idiot. If he took the time to pull his head out of his ass, he'd see the absolutely amazing, talented, funny, smart, strong, not to mention nice, sweet, brave, adorable guy that he'd be more than lucky to have. Like I said, he's an idiot."

Gerard took a second to realize what had just happened. He'd just done everything but admit his burning passions for Mikey in those words. Though, thankfully, Mikey didn’t look fazed, except for the neon pink blush on his cheeks.

"Well, thank you. But he actually is smart. Smarter than anyone else I know. And he's crazy talented, and funny and an absolute sweetheart. And he's constantly on my mind and in my dreams and it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to stare at him when he walks by. Just hearing his voice in the halls takes my breath away, but I know he's in love with someone else, and it kills me."

"Sounds like you're in love, Mikes."

Mikey sighed. "I was afraid of that."

"Sucks wanting someone you know you can’t have, doesn’t it?"

_Can’t have, shouldn’t want. They’re one and the same, Gerard._

Mikey looked up at Gerard with large, sad, almost watery eyes.

"Yeah. Yeah, it does."

****

Gerard was pulling his books out of his locker when Frank walked up.

"Hey," He said softly.

Gerard gave him his best bitch face.

"Are you done being an asshole?"

"Really, Frank? _I’m_ the asshole?"

"All I did was make a comment."

"Yeah, a comment about me-" Gerard cut himself off when he realized he was nearly shouting. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "A comment about me and Mikey. Together!"

"And?"

"And that’s sick, Frank! He's my brother! And before you correct me, cuz I know you're _dying_ to, just because he's not my actual brother doesn’t mean the thought’s not there. He's family, and you don’t fuck family. We’re too far north for that shit."

"I know why your panties are all in a twist."

"Google ‘incest’, Frank."

"I have; it doesn’t get me off," Frank snarked. "If you'll let me finish, I know what your problem is."

"My problem is that you think it’s funny to-"

"You wouldn’t be this upset about it if it hadn’t hit home."

Gerard's eyes narrowed.

"If my comment wasn’t a little too close for comfort, you wouldn’t have freaked out. You would’ve made a joke, rolled your eyes and changed the subject. But because I was right on the money, you got all bent outta shape about it."

"Frank-"

"Don’t lie to me, Rush. I know you better than anyone. Even the step-brother you're in love with."

Gerard gave Frank the dirtiest look he could muster.

"Give me shitty looks all you want, Gerard, but you can’t deny it."

Gerard huffed. "It’s a silly little schoolgirl crush that’s not gonna go anywhere or ever mean anything, and I’ll be over it in a few weeks. Now shut up, because if the thought of uttering even a syllable of this to anyone even crosses through your psychotic, evil little mind, I swear, I will make it physically impossible for you to ever think _or_ speak again!"

Gerard slammed his locker door and stomped away, leaving Frank looking smug and quite proud of himself.

"I knew it," He muttered to himself.

" _Frank_!" Gerard yelled from down the hall. He heard Frank's comment, and Frank barely ducked the notebook that was flung at his head.

****

When Gerard and Mikey walked into the house that afternoon, Donna was seated at the kitchen table with a very familiar face, and Don was standing behind her, looking a little green.

"Elena!" Gerard yelled, running to hug his grandmother. She squeezed Gerard so hard, his back cracked.

"Where are my manners?" Donna asked herself when she noticed Mikey looking very confused. She walked over to him and set a hand on his shoulder. "Mikey, this is Helen, my mother. Your soon-to-be grandmother."

"It’s very nice to meet you, Helen."

Elena threw her head back and cackled. "Donna, you're gonna introduce my newest grandson to me as ‘Helen’?" She looked to Mikey. "You can call me Elena; all the grandkids do."

Mikey smiled softly.

"It just occurred to me, Don! The boys don’t know each other’s families at all. I don’t want to have to go through the drawn-out introductions at the rehearsal dinner."

"Well, _I_ know a lot of them. Does that count?"

Donna rolled her eyes. "We should have a party next weekend and invite everyone important. Give the boys a chance to meet their new families."

"That’s a great idea. We’ll talk about it in detail later. But now," He said, steering Donna back into her seat, "You two have a wedding to plan."

When Donna's attention was turned back to the wedding magazines, Don motioned for the boys to follow him to the kitchen.

"You gotta help me! She wants flowers _everywhere_!"

"What do you expect, Don? She’s a woman. Guess you’re just gonna have to stop and smell the roses," Gerard clapped Don on the shoulder, laughing.

"Oh, no, no, no, no. She wants to cover the floor of the reception space with them. Do you know what’s gonna happen to you if you go walking around town smelling like a fresh-picked daisy?"

Gerard and Mikey shared a look. They got enough shit without Donna's unintentional sabotage.

Gerard rushed over to her, setting his arm around her shoulders. "Listen, Ma, Don was just telling me about the flowers."

"Won’t it be magical? Like having dinner in a meadow!" Her eyes glistened.

"Yeah, but what's the first rule of culinary?"

" _Mise en place_ " Donna recited.

Gerard rolled his eyes. "Okay, what's the second?"

"You eat with all your senses."

"Exactly. If the floor is covered in roses, they’ll be getting crushed, which will make their perfume overpower everything else. Not only will it smell like Bath and Body Works in the dining hall, but that scent is gonna sit stagnant on everyone’s palates, and then everything is just gonna taste like soap."

Donna pursed her lips as she thought. Then she smiled.

"How did I end up with a son so much smarter than me?"

"Just lucky, I guess."

"OK, we’re gonna 86 the rose petals," Donna instructed Elena, who crossed out a few lines in her notebook.

Gerard glanced over his shoulder to the kitchen, where Mikey and Don were both on their knees hailing Gerard.

"Do you think you could bring Frankie home with you tomorrow, honey? I have a question for him."

"Really?" Gerard asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well, Don and I are far from traditional. And ‘Here Comes the Bride’ is just so… bleh," She stuck her tongue out for emphasis. "So we were thinking of asking Frankie to play me down the aisle."

"You want Frank to play The Wedding March, on _electric guitar_ , while you walk down the aisle?" Mikey asked in disbelief.

"Yep!" Donna grinned.

"You are way too cool, Mom. If you weren’t family, _I’d_ have fallen in love with you."

_Family is no boundary, Gerard. Look at Mikey._

Gerard had to fight not to slap himself. His mind had been supplying those snarky quips all week. He thought admitting his crush to Frank would loosen its stranglehold on his mind. He’d hoped that acknowledging it would discourage it, but instead, it just sank its claws deeper into his brain. Gerard knew why. Why his crush wasn’t going anywhere. He had felt it with Frank for years, and now it was using Mikey to torture him. He always did have a habit of falling for the ones he couldn’t have. Gerard didn’t just have a crush.

Gerard was in love. With the person who, in a matter of months would become his stepbrother. _Fuck_.

"I’m sure Frank would love to."

"There was one other thing," Donna threw in, almost nervously.

" _Two_ ," Don coughed from behind the boys.

"We were wondering if you boys, and Frank and whoever else you need would want to perform at the reception, for our first dance."

Mikey laughed in disbelief.

"Mom, that’s awesome! Fuck yeah, we would!"

Donna wanted to scowl at her son, but instead she smiled.

"And the second thing?" Mikey asked.

Donna put her arm around Gerard's shoulders. "I love you, honey. You're my absolute favorite person in the world, and I love you more than anyone else."

Gerard felt his cheeks get warm. "Stop trying to butter me up, Mom. What do you want?"

"I was wondering if, since Granddad’s not around anymore… If you would do me the honor of giving me away."

Gerard's jaw dropped. His eyes threatened to tear up. "Of course I will, Mom!" He said, hugging her tightly and smashing his face into her shoulder.

"They couldn’t have one son in the wedding and not the other," Elena said.

"I’m gonna be in the wedding?" Mikey asked Don happily.

"As my best man," He confirmed with a nod.

Mikey wrapped his arms around his father.

Elena looked on with tears in her eyes. Finally, after all these years, her baby had a family.


	19. Chapter 19

“What do they want us to play?”

“Don’t know,” Mikey shrugged. “Hopefully something awesome," He said, grabbing three cans of soda from the fridge. He handed the two Cokes to Gerard and Frank, keeping the Coke Zero for himself. He cracked open the can and hopped up on the counter.

“How can you drink that shit?” Frank gagged.

“How can you smoke _that_ shit?” Mikey retaliated, nodding towards the pack of Marlboro Reds on the counter. “Especially with lungs like yours.”

“Shut up,” Frank mumbled, grabbing the cigarettes and shoving them back into his backpack.

“Who else do we need?” Gerard wondered.

“We’re gonna need another guitarist, unless you can play and sing at the same time.”

Gerard shook his head. “Haven’t mastered that yet.”

“You play guitar?”

“I _try_ ,” Gerard corrected Mikey, his cheeks getting warm.

Fuck his cheeks. They turned neon with nearly every comment Mikey made to him in the past few weeks. Mikey had to be blind not to notice, but he hadn’t said anything to him yet.

“What about Jeph?”

Frank shook his head. “He just plays bass now.”

“Joe?”

“Moved away.”

“Steve?”

“Working two full-time jobs.”

“Hambone?”

“Girlfriend’s due in two weeks.”

“Patrick?”

“We’re fighting.”

“Why?”

“Fucked his sister.”

Mikey laughed and Gerard shook his head.

They all sat, racking their brains until Gerard's jaw dropped.

"I got it!”

“Who?”

“Toro!”

“Oh, my god, why didn’t I think of Ray? He’ll be back from Puerto Rico by the end of the week. We’ll have ample time to find our song and rehearse before the wedding.”

“Now we just need a drummer,” Gerard said with a smile, feeling quite proud of himself for thinking of Ray.

“I think we all know who’ll be our drummer.”

“It would be awesome if we could get Nia,” Mikey thought out loud.

Gerard almost choked on his soda, and Frank scowled.

"Nia is not an option.”

“Why not? She’s cool, and she wails on that drum kit.”

“Nia doesn’t like me,” Frank deadpanned.

Mikey chuckled. “Why?”

“They used to date,” Gerard said with a grin.

“Frank _dated_ someone? Are you sure they didn’t just fuck a lot?”

Gerard snickered.

“Oh, ha ha!” Frank said with a roll of his eyes. “No, we dated. For eight months.”

“Until he made a comment about a threesome with her sister, Rena. She kicked him in the balls, broke up with him and then told all the girls in tenth grade that he had a tiny dick.”

Mikey snickered from behind his soda can.

“It’s not funny! I didn’t fuck anything but my hand for three months afterward!”

Mikey laughed even harder.

“We’ll ask Matt,” Frank said, rolling his eyes at Mikey. “He’s been asking to jam with me for months.”

“Sounds like we’ve got our band!” Mikey declared excitedly.

“When’s the wedding?”

“Middle of June. They said it was to give us time to unwind from graduation before the whirlwind starts again.”

“That gives us almost three months. We’ll have our shit together.”

“Let’s hope so," Gerard said uncertainly.

****

He knocked softly on the door three times.

“Gerard?” He whispered, and then knocked a few more times.

“Gerard?” He called a little louder.

Nothing. Mikey wasn’t surprised. It was nearing four in the morning. The only reason he was even awake was because he was stressing hardcore.

Should he wrap it? Leave a note? Wait and give it to him in person?

No, that was too personal, too emotional. Mikey wasn’t sure that he could handle that. He couldn’t take that chance.

He opened the basement door and slowly tip-toed down the creaking stairs. Thankfully, when he took the last step off the final stair, Gerard was still snoring quietly in his bed.

Mikey blew out a relieved sigh, sneaking over to the big bed in the corner. He had planned on just leaving it on the nightstand and retreating hastily. And he did. Or, well, he tried to. But he made the mistake of glancing at the boy in the bed.

His hair was gnarled and knotted and spread out wildly on his pillow, yet it still looked soft and silky and perfect. His mouth hung slightly open, and his face was completely at ease. It was a look Mikey had never seen him wear before. Usually his face was creased with worry at this or that, but in his sleep, those worries seemed to melt away. Seeing him like this felt incredibly intimate.

With another soft sigh, Mikey set the package on the nightstand and left, not chancing another look back at his almost-brother.

****

"Chippin' around, kick my brains round the floor. These are the days, it never rains, but it pours-"

Gerard smiled before he even opened his eyes. Waking up to Queen always put him in a good mood. He yawned and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He threw his blanket off himself and was halfway off his bed when he saw a glint of red from a shiny foil bow on his nightstand. He settled back into his bed and pulled whatever the bow was topping into his lap. It was heavy, big and bound with expensive leather, gilded with gold on the clasp. Embossed in gold on the front were the letters GAW.

_W for Way, not Rush,_ he thought to himself with a smile.

He carefully opened the case, and his jaw fell.

Inside was a sketchbook of thick, top-shelf paper with gilded edges, a set of professional drawing pencils and a set of the thickest, softest paintbrushes Gerard had ever had the honor of touching. The brushes and sketchbook were bound in leather to match the case.

Gerard looked at it in awe. He'd never worked with art supplies of this caliber before. The closest he'd ever come to these kind of supplies were staring at them through the glass cases they were locked in at the craft store. This was the kind of stuff they didn't chance leaving out. Gerard had always made do with mediocre, store-brand stuff, partly because he could still bust out amazing drawings without the fancy things, but mostly because his mother would have to bust her ass working overtime to get him supplies like these. She'd do it if he asked, but he wouldn't dare ask. She worked hard enough as it was.

Gerard was almost afraid to use anything, but the urge to test the pencils won out over the desire to keep it all pristine.

Flipping to the first page of the sketchbook, he tested the first pencil. He broke out in chills at the way it glided over the page, creamy and fluid and marking the paper almost effortlessly. He wondered how much it cost his mother, then flinched. He tried to feel guilty, he really did, but with the smell of the leather in his nose and the thick paper between his fingers, he really couldn't. This was the best gift he'd ever received.

It took all his willpower to keep from running up the stairs and tackling his mother in a hug. He settled on kissing her cheek.

"It's amazing, Mom! I love it!"

Donna chuckled. "What are you talking about, sweetheart?"

Gerard cocked an eyebrow. "You didn't leave anything on my nightstand?"

"Nope," Donna answered with a shake of her head.

"Don?" Gerard looked over his shoulder to where Don was seated at the table.

He shook his head from behind his coffee.

"Then..." Gerard trailed off. "Mikey?" He whispered to himself.

As if on cue, Mikey trotted down the stairs, rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

"Bathroom's all yours," He clapped Gerard on the shoulder as he walked past.

"Thanks." He silenced Don and Donna's questioning looks with a shake of his head.

"Oh," Mikey said, pouring himself some coffee, "Happy birthday."

****

After he was done being stunned that Mikey spent God only knows how much money on such a perfect gift for his birthday, Gerard spent most of the school day racking his brain on how he could ever pay him back.

He finally decided on drawing him something, though a shitty little drawing couldn't compare to the art set. He hoped that Mikey would appreciate the sentimentality of it. He found a picture on his phone of the two of them and Frank at the Alice Cooper concert, and though he felt marginally guilty for cutting Frank out of it, he knew it was perfect.

He drew during Study Hall, he drew after school, and he even drew during class, though that got him a few detention threats. He did nothing but draw for three straight days. He didn't stop until the picture was as perfect as it was gonna get and he had two blisters. At last, the portrait was finished, but it was missing... something. Gerard spent three hours looking for just the right quote, and once he found it, he spent another day and a half on the lettering. Lettering certainly wasn't his strong suit, and though the words left much to be desired, they really completed the picture.

When it was finally 100% finished, he slipped into Mikey's room while he was in the bathroom one night and left it on his nightstand. Then he ran like he never had before, back to the safety of his basement.

****

"Gerard. Gerard. Gerard, wake up," Mikey prodded, shaking the sleeping boy lightly.

After a moment, the motion finally woke Gerard, who rolled over and looked at Mikey with bleary, sleep-filled eyes.

Mikey was standing beside Gerard's bed in nothing but fleece pajama pants. At first, Gerard thought Mikey was shivering, because although it was April, the basement was cold and drafty. After a good rub to his eyes, Gerard saw that Mikey wasn't shivering, just shaking. His eyes were wet with unfallen tears. Gerard sprang into brother mode, hopping out of bed and grabbing Mikey by the shoulders.

"Mikes? Mikes, what's wrong?" He asked, frantic. He saw that Mikey had a piece of paper in his hand, and Gerard briefly thought that somehow, Gabe had gotten another letter to him. He carefully slipped the piece of paper out of Mikey's quivering hands.

It was his drawing, already slightly smudged from Mikey's fingers, most noticeably the writing around the edges.

_The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life_.

"Is it that bad?" Gerard asked, ducking his head in sudden embarrassment. He thought it was one of his better works.

Mikey said nothing. Instead, he stepped forward and hugged Gerard, squeezing him firmly.

"Thank you," He breathed, his voice shaking.

"Mikes, it's just a picture."

"No," Mikey insisted, releasing him but not stepping away. "I came into this with the worst attitude possible. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to live with new people. I didn't want to share my dad. I did nothing but push you away for months. And you still stuck your neck out for me. You got your ass kicked for me. And you didn't even like me at the time."

"I don't think I got my _ass kicked_ ," Gerard muttered, and Mikey smiled.

"You completely changed my mind. You opened my eyes to the thought that maybe having a brother wasn't so bad. I thought this move was gonna ruin my life, but it's just the opposite. I can't imagine how we ever got along without you and Donna. I got an amazing step-mom, but more importantly, I got a brother and a best friend."

Gerard blushed. Mikey considered him his best friend?

Mikey hugged him again. "I love you, Gerard."

Gerard hugged back just as fiercely. "I love you, too Mikes."


	20. Chapter 20

"Oh, my God, how _freaking_ excited are you guys?" Frank gushed, watching his cloud of smoke billow in Mikey’s direction.

Mikey waved the smoke away and reached for the bowl.

"Excited about what?" Gerard asked in between coughs. Mikey laughed at him and Gerard threw him the finger.

"About school ending! Just two more months, and we’re done, finished, no more!"

"Yeah, except for the next four years of college."

"Shit. I forgot about that," Frank said, defeated. He slumped back against the wall and pouted.

Gerard pushed Frank over, giggling like a madman.

"Why do you even _want_ to go to college, Frank? I figured more school would be a big, fat to-don’t for you."

"Eh," Frank shrugged, "Mom always wanted me to go to school. And I figure she’s gotta do something with my college fund."

Mikey rolled his eyes as he dug through Gerard’s dresser drawer for an air freshener. He found it and doused the room and all three boys in its berry goodness. As cool as their parents were, they probably wouldn’t take too kindly to them smoking weed, especially in the house, even if it was just the basement. And Mikey didn’t want to be the one to test the theory. He stuffed the can back into Gerard’s drawer, and not a minute too soon, because said parents came walking down the stairs soon after.

Gerard hastily shoved the Skellington under his pillow. "Hey, mom. What’s up?"

"Lights out, boys; we’ve gotta get an early start tomorrow."

"Yes, ma’am!" Mikey said, saluting Donna.

"Frank, you know the rules. The doors lock at ten, so are you staying or going?"

"Going," He answered, crawling off the bed and pulling on his hoodie. "I think I’m grounded, anyway."

Donna snickered in spite of herself.

Frank hugged Mikey and then Gerard, stealthily grabbing the bowl from behind him and slipping it in his pocket.

"Bye, guys!" He waved to the boys as he walked up the stairs.

"Bye, Frank!" The boys and Donna called after him in unison.

"Boys, bed," Donna instructed to the boys as she and Don followed Frank up the stairs.

"Night, Mom! Night, Dad!"

"Good night, Donna! Good night, Dad!"

Gerard sighed when the door closed. "The wedding’s in two months. I guess I better stop eating now."

"Why?" Mikey wondered, moving to take Frank’s spot on the bed next to Gerard.

"If I want to look halfway decent in that silly tux."

Mikey nudged him with his shoulder and rolled his eyes. "You look fine in that silly tux."

Gerard shook his head softly. "I’ll never be as skinny as I want to be."

"I know what you mean."

"Whatever," Gerard scoffed. "What do you weigh, like a buck fifteen soaking wet?"

"Not always," Mikey answered, shaking his head. "I used to be about sixty pounds heavier. But one of my medications fucked with my metabolism. Made me lose weight like crazy. It actually kinda scared me."

"Where can I get my own prescription?"

"Stop that," Mikey scolded him with another push to the shoulder. "Like you don’t know," He rolled his eyes.

"Know what?"

"How perfect you are," Mikey said, his voice suddenly small. He pulled his knees to his chest.

"How _what_?" Gerard asked, stunned.

"Well, you know... You’re kinda perfect. You’re super smart and gorgeous, and you’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. And you’re crazy talented, too. With your voice and the way you draw... Like I said, perfect."

Gerard’s cheeks got warmer and warmer with every word. Thankfully, Mikey couldn’t tell, because his eyes were glued to Gerard’s bedspread.

"Don’t sell yourself short, Mikes."

"What do you mean?" Mikey questioned, finally raising his head.

Now it was Gerard’s turn to avoid eye contact.

"Well, I mean you’re the same way. You’re an amazing musician, you’re way smarter than me, and when you get past the sass," Gerard said with a smile, "You’re so sweet. You’re one-of-a-kind, Mikes."

"No, I’m not."

"Stop," Gerard insisted firmly. "Stop trying to convince yourself that you’re not amazing. You’re beautiful and modest and strong. If you ask me, Gabe was a fucking idiot. If I had you, I’d never give you up. Not in a million years."

Silence.

Gerard mentally kicked himself in the ass. He’d said too much, he’d scared Mikey and any second now, he was gonna walk out of the basement and go back to hating Gerard.

But he didn’t. Mikey didn’t move or speak and it honestly terrified Gerard. When he thought the silence was gonna rupture his eardrums, he raised his head to finally look at Mikey.

Mikey was closer than Gerard remembered, and before Gerard could say anything Mikey leaned in and... kissed him?

Every receptor in Gerard’s brain fired at a million rounds a minute. What was going on? Like seriously, what the fuck?

A voice in the back of Gerard’s mind was screaming at him that this was wrong. Bad Gerard! But he didn’t care. Even with the sensible part of his brain screaming ‘Abort mission! Abort mission!’, his hands made their way to Mikey’s face, softly cupping his cheeks as he moved his lips under his step-brother’s.

Mikey was the one to finally break the kiss and it made Gerard ache.

"I'm sorry," He said hastily, making himself as small as he could.

Gerard reached over and set his hand on Mikey's knee. "It's okay. I'm older; I should know better."

Mikey cocked an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"Just because I want something, that doesn't make it right."

"Want?" Mikey whispered.

Gerard shook his head. "Listen, I don't-"

But that was as far as he got, because Mikey was there, kissing him again. Only this time, he didn't stop. He kept kissing and kissing until he'd crawled his way into Gerard's lap and Gerard was moaning into his mouth.

"Gerard," Mikey nearly whimpered, and for some reason, it made Gerard hold him tighter and kiss him harder. He wasn't strong enough to pretend that his heart wasn't doing back flips right now.

"Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for this, Gerard?"

"Way too long," Gerard answered, not wanting to take his lips off Mikey's skin for even a second. He worked his way down to his neck, mouthing at the warmth of his jugular. Mikey threw his head back, moaning.

"Fuck, how are you so good at that?"

Gerard smiled against Mikey's sweat-sheened skin for a second before kissing him again.

"You still have a scar," Mikey pointed out when he took his lips off Gerard's.

"I do? From what?"

"From when Matthews beat the shit out of you."

"Mattews beat the shit out of me?"

Mikey leaned back. "You don't remember?"

"I can't focus on anything but you right now," Gerard breathed, pulling him in for another intense kiss. And it was true. There was a cloud in his mind and the only thing it was letting through was _MikeyMikeyMikey_. Mikey was here, Mikey was touching him, hands under shirts and tangled in hair and Gerard was damned if he was about to waste it with menial thoughts.

“Aren’t you flattering?” Mikey giggled.

Gerard couldn't help but think that this, right now, with his hands and lips all over the man that he loved, this was where he belonged. Where he should be.


	21. Chapter 21

When Gerard woke up, he felt as though he'd been drugged. Every muscle in his body was unwound, and even as he was just waking, he found himself smiling. Though that was more than likely from the lips trailing across his chest.

He peeked down, hoping not to disturb Mikey. The boy was laid diagonally across Gerard's bed, his head against Gerard's chest, layering kiss after kiss to his bare skin.

They were both shirtless, and Gerard was a little surprised to see the button on his jeans popped, though the zipper was still at the top.

He took another look at Mikey, shimmering pale skin, messy hair, nearly glowing and he squeezed his eyes shut.

_You stupid fucking idiot!_ He yelled at himself. _How could you let this happen? He's your fucking brother! Do you have any idea what you did last night? The lines you crossed?_

As much as it killed him to admit it, the Gerard in his head was totally right.

Nothing could ever exist between him and Mikey. It was illegal and immoral and who knows what could happen in anyone found out? God, what if Don and Donna found out what their sons had been doing in the basement, just two floors beneath them? They'd pry them apart for good. Mikey would be looked at with disgust by his own father. Gerard wouldn't let that happen. It didn't matter that this was the happiest he'd ever been. He needed to tell Mikey that this couldn't be a thing. He couldn't let someone he loved so much throw their entire lives away over a silly fling.

As much as it hurt to do so, Gerard yawned and sat up, pushing Mikey gently off him.

Mikey had a blissed-out look on his face and his eyes were glazed. He was happier than Gerard had ever seen him before. Knowing that he was in moments going to turn him away and break his heart made Gerard's chest hurt.

"Good morning," Mikey smiled sweetly at Gerard before leaning in and giving him a soft kiss.

Gerard couldn't help himself. He set his hand on Mikey's cheek and returned the kiss eagerly, though guilt was stabbing him more and more each second.

Mikey pulled away with a smile and bit his lip, a look that was probably not meant to be as sexy as it was.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Fine," Gerard answered, leaning down to grab any random shirt off his floor and pulling it on. He quickly found Mikey's Dawn of The Dead shirt and handed it to him.

Mikey's forehead creased in worry.

"We should get upstairs. I'm sure there's a lot to do today," He said curtly, not even looking at Mikey. He stood and bee-lined toward the door.

"Gerard, what's wrong?" Mikey asked. There was terror and little else in his voice.

Gerard turned around and sighed deeply.

"I just..." He exhaled, "Don't think we should look too much into last night. It was fun, but it was a one-time thing."

Mikey grimaced. "Don't say that. Don't lie to me and say that last night didn't mean anything to you," Mikey demanded, close to tears.

Gerard's chest hurt seeing him like that. But he swallowed the lump in his throat and lied through his teeth, possibly the first convincing lie he'd ever told.

"It didn't. I'm sorry, Mikey. But last night was a mistake."

Mikey's cheeks got red and he bit his lip.

"Mikes, I-"

Mikey sprang from the bed without so much as a glance in Gerard's direction.

"Mikes, stop!" Gerard yelled at him, though he couldn't even begin to imagine anything he could say that would lessen the hurt.

He grabbed Mikey's arm, but Mikey turned on his heel and slapped him, leaving Gerard shocked enough to drop his hand.

" _Fuck you_ ," Mikey practically spat. He turned and ran up the stairs, slamming Gerard's basement door, and a moment later, slamming his own.

_It may have hurt, but it was the right thing. You did the right thing_ , Gerard thought to himself.

But if it was right, why did he feel nauseous, like he was gonna throw up at any second? If he did the right thing, why didn't it feel like it?

****

"Gerard!"

Gerard screwed his face into a smile and joined his mother and the two random guys she was standing with.

"Sweetheart, these are Don's brothers," Donna explained, setting a hand on Gerard's shoulder, "Mark and Jason."

Gerard was as polite as he could be, though he was less than half in the conversation. He was more concerned with keeping tabs on Mikey. He was sitting in the big black recliner in the corner, drinking a Coke Zero and wearing a look that was as disinterested as Gerard had ever seen him.

Gerard was busy meeting Don's 800 million obscure relatives, so he didn't have a chance all day to try to apologize to Mikey. And the one opportunity he _did_ have, when they crossed paths to the bathroom, Mikey was definitely _not_ having any of it. He just shoulder-checked Gerard into the wall and walked down the stairs without another look back.

It wasn't until Donna called Gerard into the garage for another case of beer that he even realized that he and Mikey were back to being openly hostile. And of course, Donna noticed.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Gerard asked, playing dumb. But he forgot that this was the woman that held him for nine months, and could read him like a book. Donna was way too smart for that.

"You and Mikey," She clarified with an exasperated eye roll. She set her hands on her hips, looking sassy like only a mother can. "You two have been doing so good. You haven't fought in months, now all of the sudden you aren't even making eye contact."

Gerard hopped up on the freezer and set his head in his hands. "I said something stupid. I hurt him really bad," He sort of explained. He figured that half-truths were better than out-and-out lies.

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

" _No_!" Gerard yelped, and it made Donna jump. "I mean," He continued at a more reasonable volume, "He'll get over it with time. You know Mikey. He just feels things more passionately, you know? Just give him space; he'll forgive me. I promise."

Donna slanted her eyes, but waved the white flag, leaving with her case of beer.

_At least, I hope he'll forgive me_.

****

Mikey was out of the house Monday morning before Gerard even woke up. He was prepared for a total shitshow when he walked into the bathroom, but it was as clean as Mikey had usually left it. No remnants of Hurricane Mikey were anywhere to be seen. Truth be told, it scared Gerard. Hurricane Mikey meant that Mikey was still livid angry. This was calm angry, which was always more dangerous.

****

"Hey, where's the third Musketeer?" Frank asked when Gerard showed up at their usual meeting spot alone.

Gerard just looked down at his shoes and shook his head.

Frank didn't say anything else.

****

Whenever Mikey and Gerard crossed paths in the halls, Mikey made it a point to avert his eyes. He wasn't being shy about ignoring Gerard. And to be honest, it was kind of pissing Gerard off. Pouting just because someone doesn't want to be with you is beyond immature. Of course, Gerard wanted Mikey more than coffee, cigarettes and music combined, but that wasn't the point.

Mikey needed to grow up and get over it. Get over _him_. At least, that's what Gerard _thought_ was the logical answer. But when he and Frank walked into the cafeteria that afternoon, Gerard felt his blood boil.

There was an extra person at their usual lunch table. There was Matt, Ray, Lindsey, Jamia and Mikey. And Nick.

Gerard's mouth tightened into a rigid line. Nick was in Gerard's usual seat, Mikey standing between his knees. Mikey looked absolutely tantalizing in Gerard's favorite pair of black jeans and a super tight Anthrax shirt that rose up a good two inches, showing off Mikey's sharp hipbones. His makeup was done to the nines, and he was smiling like a schoolgirl. God, that smile was breath-taking, even if it was laced with malice. Of course, Nick was eating it right up.

"Gee?" Frank asked, shaking him gently. He didn't even realize that he'd stopped dead in his tracks.

Mikey said something and Nick reached out to grab him by one of his belt loops, pulling Mikey down onto his lap. Mikey glanced over to Gerard and Frank, and smirked. The little fucker caught Gerard's eye and fucking smirked. His eyes smoldered, and he turned to wrap his arms around Nick's neck, and kissed him.

Gerard scoffed and walked out of the lunchroom, leaving a very confused Frank calling his name.

He couldn't believe Mikey. Nick was an innocent bystander that was now dragged into their cat and mouse game for no reason. He had nothing to do with this, and Mikey decided to use him to get Gerard jealous? How could he? First it was Frank, now Nick. For someone with such a traumatic past, Mikey sure was quick to chew men up and spit them out just for spite. He was doing the same thing to Nick that Gabe had done to him.

Maybe Mikey wasn't the man Gerard thought he was after all.


	22. Chapter 22

Gerard kicked at rocks the whole way home. Frank had detention, and Mikey was still on the rag after a week and a half, so Gerard was left to walk home by himself.

Try as he might, he couldn't stop thinking about Mikey. He'd thought of little else for the last few weeks. If he was being honest with himself, the last few months had been nothing but Mikey. Every time he saw him in school, he'd be attached to Nick at the fucking hip. Nick always looked over the moon, but Mikey was making it clear that he was only with Nick to piss Gerard off. If he saw him down the hall, he'd ham it up, slipping his hands into Nick's pockets or burying his face in his neck. Gerard almost couldn't believe it. Apparently Mikey wasn't half as innocent as he claimed to be.

Gerard tried to convince himself that Mikey was toxic, a bad person because of it, but he couldn't. Deep down, he knew that Mikey was only acting like this because he was hurting. And even worse was knowing that he was the cause of Mikey's pain. Knowing that it was all his fault was making him sick.

He hated that he'd hurt the man he was in love with. He wanted to apologize, but Mikey wouldn't hear it if he tried.

He sighed as he unlocked the front door. When he saw what was behind it, he rolled his eyes.

_Not again_.

Nick was seated on the couch, his hands up the back of Mikey's shirt, his mouth on Mikey's neck. Mikey's head was thrown back, a silent moan on his lips.

Gerard huffed. Doing this shit at school wasn't enough? He had the audacity to bring Nick into their home? For no other reason than to dangle him in front of Gerard like a worm on a hook. Mikey obviously wasn't who Gerard thought he was.

Gerard walked inside and slammed the door, causing both boys on the couch to jump. Nick at least had the decency to look guilty. Mikey just smirked that fucking smirk of his. Man, he wore that like a Purple Heart.

"Mikey, can I talk to you?" Gerard asked as venomously as he could.

"In a minute," Mikey said, not looking away from Nick.

" _In_ the basement," Gerard insisted firmly, walking over to the basement door and throwing it open.

Mikey rolled his eyes and dismounted Nick. "I'll be right back," He almost purred, and Gerard felt his cock stiffen.

_Damn,_ He thought, _I'm pissed at the kid and he still has a hold on me_. He shook his head to clear it, following Mikey through the basement door and slamming it behind him.

"I can't believe you! Have you no shame?"

"What's your problem?"

"How can you do that to Nick?"

"Do what?" Mikey asked, crossing his arms and looking sassy.

"Use him like that! And don't say you're not, because that's exactly what's going on!"

"Why do you care what I do to Nick? You have no claim on me, _brother_. You gave that up."

"Oh, please! You're using that poor kid to make me jealous."

"Looks like it's working, too."

"You're sick. After everything that's happened to you, you're gonna turn around and do those same things to him?"

"Oh, you mean the same things you did to me?"

That knocked Gerard back a step. " _What_?" He roared. "I didn't do shit to you, and don't you dare try to tell me I did!"

"You're a fucking liar, Gerard! You lied to me and you used me, _just like Gabe did_!"

"Don't you dare compare me to that sick fuck. I didn't do anything."

"You're a pretty convincing actor, Gerard. I almost believe you."

"Enlighten me, then! Explain to me how a few kisses is using you."

Sadness and confusion danced across Mikey's face. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

Mikey uncrossed his arms, looking exhausted. "It wasn't just a few kisses, Gee."

"Wha-" Gerard stopped short as the memories of that night, memories he didn't even know he had, came rushing back to him like floodwater over the levees. Hands on his belt, lips on his stomach, a tongue tracing the length of his zipper, Mikey looking up at him through his eyelashes, a warm mouth and an orgasm so intense that Gerard's knees went weak even now. He gasped. Mikey was right. He had used him, and he didn't even know.

"Mikes, did you... Did you give me-"

"Yeah," Mikey cut him off curtly, "And by the way, the fact that you don't remember is really flattering," He said sarcastically. "I'm assuming that was a glitch on your part, because a blowjob from me isn't something you forget very easily. And I don't care how full of myself that sounds."

Gerard chuckled soundlessly.

"And afterwards, you held me against your chest and kissed my forehead and promised me that you'd protect me. That you'd never let anyone else hurt me. And I was stupid enough to believe you."

Gerard's stomach knotted.

"And then when morning came, you threw it in my face. You told me that it was nothing, that it meant nothing to you."

Gerard felt like crying. After so many months spent gluing Mikey back together after Gabe destroyed him, he turned around and broke him himself. He promised to keep Mikey safe, then broke his heart. He really was no better than the man he so fiercely hated.

Mikey bit his lip and his cheeks got red. He was fighting tears.

"You know, after everything that happened with Gabe, I swore to myself that I'd never put myself in that position again, trust someone and set myself up for heartbreak. I thought..." He sniffled, "I thought I was safe with you. I guess I was wrong."

If Gerard's heart wasn't already broken, those words did him in.

Mikey turned around and reached for the door, but Gerard grabbed his arm and pulled him back. If he let Mikey leave now, he'd lose him forever.

"Mikes, please stop. I know that nothing I can say will make it better, but I am so fucking sorry, for everything. I never meant to hurt you and I hate that I did. I just... I blacked out. I wasn't just blowing smoke up your ass when I said I couldn't focus. That happens to me when I get really stoned. Remember the time I walked home from Frank's barefoot because I forgot to put my shoes back on?"

A look of realization swept across Mikey's face. "You really didn't know?"

"Of course not! Mikey, I am so sorry. If I remembered, I never would've... I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

"Whatever," He shrugged. "You're welcome, I guess. Tell Frank I'm sorry you couldn't give the experience to your first love," He said, reaching for the doorknob again.

"But I did," Gerard blurted out, and Mikey turned back around slowly.

"What?"

Gerard tried to kick himself, but he couldn't. He had planned to just apologize and get on with his life, but he couldn't. Not when Mikey had spilled his own soul to him, not when Mikey had admitted that he wanted him. How could he just ignore that? The chance of _possibly_ losing Mikey won out over the thought of _definitely_ losing him.

"I always thought I was in love with Frank. I wasn't. That was just admiration and lust. I know what it feels like now. To be in head-over-heels, can't-get-you-out-of-my-mind love. I'm tired, Mikes," He chuckled, "Tired of lying, tired of pretending, tired of trying to convince myself that I don't want you."

Mikey's eyes lit up then dimmed.

"Don't do this to me again."

"Never. I promise. Never again will you hear me say that I don't want you, because I do. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything else. More than I've ever wanted Frank. I love you."

Mikey looked dazed, and Gerard took his chance. He grabbed him again, pulling him to himself. Only this time, he didn't drop Mikey's arm, but he instead wrapped his own arms around Mikey's waist.

"I love you, Mikey."

Mikey smiled softly and kissed Gerard. It started slow, but quickly heated, and before long, Gerard was mouthing at Mikey's neck and Mikey had slipped off Gerard's hoodie and was dragging his nails down Gerard's back.

Gerard backed Mikey up against the wall and shoved his knee between his thighs, happily met with a rather large bulge. Mikey gasped and bit down on Gerard's lip as he started grinding down against Gerard's thigh. Gerard knew he was digging his own erection into Mikey's hip, but he couldn't care less. All he could focus on were the moans he was pulling from Mikey's lips, and all he wanted to do was get Mikey off, right here and right now.

"Harder. Fuck, Gerard, harder!" Mikey groaned and Gerard pressed himself even harder against Mikey, which made him shudder.

He licked a stripe up Mikey's neck before kissing him again, harder and hotter than before and Mikey was moaning and Gerard was whimpering and all of the sudden, Mikey was shaking and he'd bitten down on Gerard's shoulder and Gerard could feel the slight dampness against his thigh. He couldn't help but smile.

But the smile didn't last long, because now it was Mikey on a mission. He was whispering hotly in Gerard's ear and within seconds, Gerard was riding out his own orgasm, Mikey's name on his lips.

He could only imagine how they looked, rutting against each other, lewd and wanton.

Mikey fell back against the wall, and Gerard fell against Mikey, both boys panting and gasping.

"That's so much better with another person," Gerard mumbled, and he and Mikey both broke out in a fit of giggles.

"Why?" Mikey asked when he was done laughing. "I get it, if you don't remember, but the morning after, why-"

Gerard cut him off. "It's supposed to be wrong. I'm not supposed to want you like I do. I can't help the fact that you're all I think about. I can't help wanting you. But I was trying to protect you. I didn't want you to ruin your life over me."

"I appreciate the sentiment," Mikey said, his breathing back to normal, "But I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself. Don't push me away for my own good again, Gerard. I want you. I love you, that's not changing. Okay?"

Gerard nodded. "Deal."

Mikey grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled Gerard to him, sucking a deep purple hickey into the skin right above his jugular.

Gerard moaned softly, and then winced when Mikey finished it with a sharp bite.

"There. Now you're mine, and there's no denying it."

Gerard laughed and kissed his brother.

Well, _step_ -brother. That distinction was kind of important now.

****

After rushing downstairs to change out of their dirty jeans, Gerard and Mikey crept back up the stairs, wary of what they'd find in the living room.

"Do you think he heard anything?" Mikey asked.

"Probably. You sounded like a dying horse."

"Fuck off!" Mikey laughed, playfully pushing Gerard.

Gerard took a deep breath and opened the basement door, preparing to find a confused and disgusted Nick. Instead, he found a lone note left on the coffee table.

_heard yelling so i left. don't worry i didn't hear anything. see you in the morning babe_

_xoxo nick_

"I feel kinda bad," Mikey admitted, "He's been trying to get into my pants all year, and he finally gets a shot only to be pushed away two weeks later."

"You don't _have_ to break it off with him," Gerard suggested, feigning sympathy.

"Are you an idiot? Didn't we just establish via mutual orgasms that I'm with you?"

Gerard just smirked. That was the answer he was looking for.

****

Naturally, when Don and Donna got home, they were more than surprised to find their sons laughing over English homework at the kitchen counter. Donna questioned Gerard about it as they cooked dinner, but his only answer was 'Leave it be'.

Frank, on the other hand, was not so easily deterred.

"What the fuck?" He all but yelled when he saw Mikey and Gerard walking together in the morning. "You two are back to being friends? Speaking of, why were you fighting in the first place? You guys need to tell me these things!"

"Don't worry about it," Mikey smiled.

"Don't tell me not to worry about it! As Best Friend Number 1, I deserve to know why Best Friend Numbers 2 and 3 are fighting."

"Why are you Best Friend Number 1?" Gerard asked.

"Because I'm the most attractive," Frank answered with a charming smile.

"I deserve to be Best Friend Number 1; I'm the oldest!" Gerard insisted.

They debated placement all the way to school. They all agreed that Mikey was Best Friend Number 3, since he was not only youngest, but also the new guy. Gerard and Frank were playing Rock-Paper-Scissors for the first place spot when Nick found them.

He walked up behind Mikey, spun him around and kissed him. He slid his hands from where they were resting on Mikey's hips, under his shirt to settle on his sides. It made Gerard's blood boil. Who did Nick think he was, touching Mikey like that in public? He balled his hands into fists and narrowed his eyes.

Mikey backed away from Nick and the kiss as soon as he could, flashing Gerard an apologetic glance.

"Hey, Nick," He said nervously.

"Good morning, Beautiful," Nick smiled sinfully.

"Um, Nick, can I talk to you?" Mikey asked.

Nick's smile fell slightly. "Sure."

"You guys can go ahead," Mikey said to Gerard and Frank, "We'll catch up."

The boys kept walking, and Frank chuckled. "Relax, dude," He said, setting his elbow on Gerard's shoulder.

"What?"

"You are so obvious! I know you've got the hots for the kid, but if you give all his boyfriends the evil eye, he'll figure you out in a minute."

"Well, did you see the way he was touching him? That's not okay, especially when his brother's right frickin' there!"

"Oh, who cares? They're young and dumb; let them be slutty. Besides, Mikey's ending it."

Gerard smiled, then quickly reigned it in. "How can you tell?"

"He was _so_ not digging that kiss. And 'Can we talk?' is never good. Looks like we'll have our boy back soon."

Gerard couldn't hide _that_ smile if he tried.


	23. Chapter 23

"Was he upset?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Did he cry?" Frank wondered, sadistic as always.

"He wanted to," Mikey answered, sounding guilty.

"Why'd you break it off, anyway?"

"I just..." Mikey 'accidentally' brushed his hand against Gerard's, "Wasn't feeling it."

"What the hell does that mean? How do you not _feel_ a relationship?" Frank asked with a scowl.

"Well, in order to feel or not feel a relationship, there needs to be emotion in it. Not just cum," Gerard quipped.

Frank shuddered. "Emotion? No, thank you. Emotion means caring, caring turns into needy and needy means a girl that won't hop off my dick and leave me alone for more than five seconds at a time."

Mikey scoffed and Gerard rolled his eyes.

"Later!" Frank called with a laugh, breaking off and heading to his Anatomy class.

"Do you think he really thinks like that?" Mikey wondered aloud as he and Gerard made their way to the old part of the school, where both their first hour classes were conveniently held.

Gerard shrugged. "He's never been in love," He defended Frank, slipping a side-eye glance to Mikey that didn't go unnoticed.

Gerard looked down at the floor as the two passed over the threshold that divided the shiny new tile and the grimy linoleum of the old part of the school. He shivered.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," He sighed. "Just... This part of the building," He said simply, and Mikey knew exactly what he was talking about.

The old part of the building was nightmare fuel for a lot of the students here. It was old, run-down and decrepit, with more than it's share of horror stories.

In the 86 years since the school had been erected, three deaths had occurred in this part of the building. There was a gang-related shooting in the 80s, someone overdosed in the late 70s and just a few years before Gerard and Frank had arrived, a girl had slit her wrists in the bathroom. That didn't bother Gerard, though. Death was inevitable. What creeped Gerard out was Mr. Walker.

Mr. Walker was a social studies teacher, and Gerard's homeroom/study hall teacher Freshman year. He saw how Gerard struggled with Algebra, and offered one-on-one help after school one day. After the final bell rang and Gerard was headed back to Mr. Walker's room, he was ambushed by two upperclassmen. They left him bloody and bruised on the bathroom floor. After he came to homeroom the next morning looking like he'd gone five rounds with a cinderblock, Mr. Walker never again offered help, and Gerard never asked.

A couple weeks later, two Freshmen stepped forward and claimed that they'd been sexually assaulted by Mr. Walker. Hearing this prompted three other confessions.

When the police searched his desk, they found a shoe box hidden in the very back of his bottom drawer full of Polaroids; they were all pictures of his students, past and present. From the pictures, they gathered that in his twelve years at the school, nearly a hundred boys and three dozen girls had been subject to his unwanted hands. Gerard couldn't help thinking that if he hadn't been jumped that day, he could've been a victim himself.

When the story surfaced, Frank ran up and down every hallway looking for Gerard. When he finally found him, he collapsed into his arms, sobbing and saying that he should've protected him. Gerard pulled him into an empty classroom, rubbing his back and repeating over and over that he was fine, that Mr. Walker didn't touch him, but Frank insisted that he was the worst friend ever, that he almost let his best friend be a chew toy for a pervert. He walked Gerard to and from every class for a month afterward, with no regard to how late it made him for his own classes.

Shortly after the story came to light and Mr. Walker's subsequent firing and trial, his classroom was cleared out and like most of the classrooms in this part of the building, was now used only for storage. But even with the room all boarded up, Gerard still got chills every time he walked down the hall.

Mikey set a comforting arm around Gerard's neck, which made him smile. He looked around quickly for witnesses before pulling Mikey into the bathroom and nearly attacking him.

"Right now, Gerard?" Mikey breathed, though he was just as into the kiss as Gerard was.

"Why not?" Gerard asked, his lips turning up in a smirk.

"Because, we're already late," Mikey reasoned, stepping away.

Gerard pouted and Mikey kissed him on the nose.

"Come on. Class," He said firmly, pointing to the bathroom door.

Gerard hung his head and stuck out his bottom lip, but walked back into the hall, where he and Mikey parted for their classes.

****

Not fifteen minutes later, Gerard got a text.

_i hope you know how fucking hard it was to pull away from you in that bathroom. i cant wait til we get home ;)_

Gerard fought a shudder.

This kid was going to be the death of him.


	24. Chapter 24

"Quinn Cody Allman... Billie Joe Armstrong... Lindsey Ann Ballato... Joshua Joseph Balz... Jack Bassam Barakat... William Eugene Beckett... Thomas Joseph Bell... Andrew Dennis Biersack... Beau Mark Bokan... Kellin Quinn Bostwick... Maria Diane Brink... Austin Robert Carlile... Christopher Thomas Cerulli... Carah Faye Charnow... Jeremiah Clayton Davis... Robert Rian Dawson... Jennifer Kitty Dunn... Joshua Neil Farro... Zachary Wayne Farro... James Matthew Flyzik... William Roy Francis... Michael Christopher Fuentes... Victor Vincent Fuentes... Alexander William Gaskarth... Chad Everett Gilbert... Aaron Roderick Gillespie... Maxwell Scott Green... Lyndsey Paris Gunnulfsen... Amy Lynn Hartzler... Andrew John Hurley... Frank Anthony Thomas Iero Jr."

" _ **Whoo**_!" Frank screamed, running up the stairs to the stage and, instead of shaking hands with the Principal, Vice Principal and District Administrator, he hugged them all, and even kissed Principal McNulty's cheek.

All the kids in the seats laughed, along with most of the relatives in the bleachers. The staff on stage, however, were _not_ amused.

Frank snatched the prop diploma from the Principal's hand and ran to the front of the stage where he threw the devil horns to the graduates and tilted his head down. He'd written 'Four years wasted!!!' on the top of his cap. The graduates busted into laughter again, but this time the relatives were mostly scowling.

The truant officer walked up on the stage, grabbing Frank and leading him off.

Gerard turned around in his seat to find Mikey giggling and rolling his eyes. When he finally caught Gerard's eye, he smiled. Gerard winked at him and he blushed.

"He he... he he..." The Principal chuckled nervously, "We certainly will miss Frank's unique sense of humor around here, won't we?"

All the administrators on stage grimaced. They were gonna miss Frank like a gangrenous infection. They really should have expected it. He's Frank fucking Iero. Did they really think he wouldn't go out with a hell of a bang? They should've frisked him before they even let him on the field.

Principal McNulty cleared his throat and continued.

"Taylor Kathleen Jardine... Martin Bennett Johnson... Sierra Kay Kusterbeck... Adam Burbank Lazzara... Jared Joseph Leto... Nia Elizabeth Lovelis... Craig Edward Mabbitt... Shirley Ann Manson... David Paden Marchand... Robert Edward McCracken... Jenna Rachael McDougall... Jeremy Wade McKinnon... Zackary Stephen Merrick... Miranda Beth Miller... Taylor Michel Momsen... Brian Monte Money... Christian Coma Mora... Richard Allen Olson III... Raymond Manuel Toro Ortiz... Julia Payton Miller... Cassadee Blake Pope... Jordan Izaak Pudnik... Jade Errol Puget... Ashley Abrocket Purdy... Ronald Joseph Radke... Elias Paul Reidy... George Ryan Ross III... Gerard Arthur Rush."

Gerard took a deep breath to center himself before standing. The last thing he needed was to fall on his face during his last moments at the school. He might literally give up on life if that happened.

He walked up on stage, shook the three hands and took the diploma, all thankfully without fumble. He stole a look at the crowd when he was certain he wasn't gonna fall off the stage. There were three people in the bleachers cheering; Don, Donna and Elena (the rest of the families opted to just bring graduation gifts and cards to the wedding rather than make the journey twice in two months).

Down in the crowd of students, one single blue cap stood above the rest.

Mikey was standing, clapping and cheering and smiling the widest Gerard had ever seen. He assumed that Frank had been escorted off the field or even off the property. After all, he wasn't a student anymore.

Gerard smiled and waved at Mikey before returning to his seat, listening to the Principal continue calling names.

"David Anthony Schmitt... Alicia Michelle Simmons... Juliet Nicole Simms... Spencer James Smith... Lindsey Jessica Stirling... Patrick Martin Stumph... Lacey Nicole Sturm... Oliver Scott Sykes... Sisely Gun Treasure... Joseph Mark Trohman... Brendon Boyd Urie... Michael James Way."

Gerard shot up from his seat, whooping and hollering and cheering like a proud parent. And he _was_ proud. Proud of Mikey for making it through, regardless of the trauma he'd suffered at Gabe's hands. He'd brushed it off, he'd grown from his experiences, and now he was graduating high school. He hadn't let Gabe win. He was starting a new chapter in his life, one that hopefully, Gerard would help write.

Mikey threw a wave and a beaming smile to Gerard before returning to his seat, and the rest of the roster was called.

"Dallon James Weekes... Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III... Nicholas Aiden Wiggins... Hayley Nichole Williams... Jordan Mark Witzigreuter... Daniel Robert Worsnop... Taylor Benjamen York. Ladies and gentlemen, your graduating class."

The graduates stood, cheering and, in true graduation fashion, dozens of caps were thrown in the air, cascading down on them like a baptism. A baptism that meant this shit was finally fucking over.

Gerard grabbed the first cap he could and scampered off to find Mikey.

It wasn't hard, because most of the kids were already wandering off to find their families and take pictures. He snuck up behind him, grabbed him in a bear hug and spun him around.

"Congratulations, Mikes!"

Mikey giggled as Gerard set him down. "You, too!" He turned around and hugged him.

Gerard took a deep breath, and it seemed like now that the hell of high school was over, he breathed a little easier.

He slung an arm around Mikey's neck. "Let's go find Mom and Dad."

****

"There," Gerard said, stepping back to admire his work. Or rather, placement.

"It looks great," Mikey said, walking over to Gerard and resting his elbow on his brother's shoulder.

The picture of Gerard and Elena was on the bottom right, then him and his mom, him and Don, him and both his parents, him and Frank (who was, as Gerard assumed, escorted out of the building after his little stunt. They threatened to take away his diploma, too, but when Linda heard that, she threw a bitch fit that Gerard was thankful he missed), and lastly, a picture of him, Mikey and Frank all together.

They all framed the picture in the center, the biggest picture of all, the one of Gerard and Mikey hugging, smiles wide and faces half-covered by their tassels.

"Yeah, we're all some beautiful motherfuckers," Frank said impatiently, "Now can we go? Toro's waiting for us!" He yelled at the boys, stomping up the stairs.

"I thought he'd never leave," Gerard said, raising an eyebrow.

Mikey blushed and Gerard pulled him into his arms, kissing him softly.

"Are we ever gonna tell him?"

"Eventually. He already knows I've got the hots for you. He's known for months."

Mikey's blush returned. "Months?"

Now it was Gerard's turn to blush. He pushed Mikey softly. "Shut up. And anyway, I just want this to be between us for a little while."

Mikey smiled and kissed Gerard again. "I think I can handle that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some middle names were fabricated because I couldn't find their actual names.
> 
> The people are from the bands listed, generally in order: The Used, Green Day, Mindless Self Indulgence, Motionless In White, All Time Low, The Academy Is..., Escape the Fate, Black Veil Brides, blessthefall, Sleeping With Sirens, In This Moment, Of Mice & Men, Shiny Toy Guns, Paramore, Aiden, Pierce the Veil, New Found Glory, Underoath/The Almost, Violent New Breed, PVRIS, Evanescence, Fall Out Boy, We Are the In Crowd, Boys Like Girls, VersaEmerge, Taking Back Sunday, 30 Seconds to Mars, Cherri Bomb/Hey Violet, Garbage, AFI, Tonight Alive, A Day to Remember, The Pretty Reckless, Hey Monday, Falling In Reverse, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Panic! At the Disco, Breathe Carolina, From First to Last, Automatic Loveletter, Flyleaf, Bring Me the Horizon, The Ready Set, Asking Alexandria/We Are Harlot, and of course, My Chemical Romance and all affiliated acts, of which there are too many to list here.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is nothing but shameless PWP. Can be skipped and you will literally miss nothing important. That being said, enjoy.
> 
> Also, if you speak French, I'm sure this chapter will piss you off, because it's probably not accurate whatsoever. I just used Google Translate, but I translated it back and forth multiple times to try to make it as accurate as possible.

"God, we're like... officially adults now."

"Speak for yourself, Mr. Rush," Mikey said between kisses to Gerard's neck. He mouthed at a sensitive spot under Gerard's jaw, and his toes curled.

"Jesus, Mikes, you're gonna be the death of me."

Mikey chuckled. " _La petite mort_ ," He purred, and it made Gerard's cock stand at attention.

_Holy fuck, Mikey speaks French_?

"You speak French?" He asked in aroused awe.

Mikey blushed. "Mom was born in France. When I was a kid, every time I would learn a new word in English, she'd teach me the French word."

"Are you fluent?"

" _Oui, mon cher_ ," Mikey rattled off perfectly.

Gerard moaned softly. "That has got to be the hottest thing I have ever heard."

Mikey smirked. " _Le petit mort_ is what the French call an orgasm. It means 'the little death'."

"That's kinda weird and kinda hot at the same time."

" _Bébé, tu ne connais pas la moitié de celui-ci_."

Gerard clamped his hand over Mikey's mouth. "You need to stop that."

" _Pourquoi_?" Mikey asked innocently before running his tongue along Gerard's fingers in a way that was definitely _not_ innocent.

"Because, if you keep it up, I might literally die of arousal."

"Just from a little French? _Vous êtes facile, Gerard_."

Gerard's eyes slid shut. If he thought Mikey speaking French was hot, his own name in French was straight orgasm fuel.

"Make me a deal," He blurted, throwing his eyes open.

"Anything, _mon amour_."

"If you keep speaking French... I'll blow you."

Mikey's eyes widened and he smiled. "I thought you were too scared to blow me?"

"I think I can get over it."

Gerard was actually terrified to go down on Mikey; he was worried that he'd be terrible. But apparently he had found himself one hell of a new fetish, and he was willing to face his fears to keep Mikey speaking like that. Plus, he had to get over himself sooner or later. He really was excited to go down on Mikey, and this was just the kick in the ass he needed.

"So what do you say, Mikes?" Gerard asked, his eyes darkening, "Wanna die a little tonight?"

Mikey scoffed in amazement. "You're absolutely ridiculous, you know that? You can go from zero to complete sex kitten in a matter of seconds."

"One of my many talents," Gerard smirked.

"Well, I'm certainly eager to see the rest."

Gerard crawled into Mikey's lap, stripping off his shirt and tossing it on the floor. Mikey laid down and peeled off his pajama pants and boxers.

Gerard kissed his way down Mikey's chest, running his lips along each of his ribs before biting gently on his hip bones.

Mikey arched his back and gasped. " _Oh mon Dieu, Gerard_ ," He purred.

Gerard smirked and slowly wrapped his lips around the tip of Mikey's dick.

Slowly, inch by inch, he took Mikey deeper. He saw the muscles in Mikey's stomach quiver, which he assumed was a good sign. He tried to remember how some of his favorite porn stars gave blowjobs, but then he decided to just do it on his own because he was most definitely _not_ a porn star. Besides, he figured he should focus more on not choking. Which was relatively easy, considering that for as skinny as he was, Mikey was pretty hung. Instead, Gerard took visual cues from Mikey; what made his eyes slip closed, what made his stomach muscles tighten, what made him gasp or bite his lip. Plus, Gerard knew what he liked when Mikey blew him. Piecing it all together, he figured he could manage to give a half-decent blowjob. He assumed he wasn't doing too badly, because Mikey was spewing French as quickly as he could between gasps and moans.

" _Voilà, comme ça_."

Gerard's own erection was persistent against his jeans, but he was way more concerned with Mikey's. Giving head was more fun than he imagined.

" _Juste comme ça, Gee. Ne vous arrêtez pas_ ," Mikey whimpered. He bit his lip and sunk his hands deep into Gerard's hair, pulling slightly; just enough to make Gerard's scalp tingle. " _Oh mon dieu, une si belle bouche. Je suis une salope pour vous_."

Gerard knew Mikey was getting close by his breathing, so he sped up, going as fast as he could without gagging.

" _Merde, Gerard. Ne vous arrêtez pas_!"

Gerard was so wrapped up in Mikey's words that the boy's orgasm caught him by surprise. But thankfully, he managed to take it all without making a mess.

Mikey panted and shuddered for a moment before tugging gently on Gerard's hair, pulling him in for an intense, if slightly salty kiss.

" _Il était incroyable, bébé. Putain parfait et vous êtes tout pour moi_ ," He whispered in Gerard's ear. He reached into Gerard's pants for his momentarily forgotten erection and slowly started to jerk him off, still speaking hotly in his ear.

" _Tu es tellement putain sexy, bébé. Tu es tout pour moi. Ma petite pute_."

Gerard couldn't hold back, not with Mikey's lips on his neck and his hand on his cock. He gave in to his orgasm almost embarrassingly fast, grabbing Mikey and kissing him as he thrust into his hand, riding out the aftershocks.

After Gerard changed his boxers, he crawled back into bed and wrapped himself around Mikey, who, to Gerard's annoyance, had put his pajama pants back on.

"That was fucking amazing, Gerard," Mikey smiled as he snuggled into Gerard's side. "We'll have to do it again."

"Maybe in the morning?" Gerard chuckled, beaming with pride that not only did he not fuck up, but apparently gave a blowjob that wasn't bad.

Mikey chuckled. "I'm game if you are."

"I love you, Mikey," Gerard sighed sleepily.

"I love you, too, Gerard. _Je t'aime_ ," He whispered, running his fingertips over and over Gerard's chest, " _Je t'aime_."


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, I know. Don't hate me.

Gerard hadn't sat down, or barely even taken a breath in weeks.

Between family coming to town and tux fittings and band practice and his short, sweet (or even short and steamy) moments with Mikey that, unfortunately had been few and far between lately, he hadn't taken two seconds to step back and look at his drastically changing life: In less than 24 hours, his mother would be married; right now, the state was processing his adoption papers, meaning that in about six months Gerard would be an official and legal Way; at this very second, there were acceptance letters from his first, second and third choice art schools sitting on his desk at home; Frank was packing up his life to leave for Rutgers in two months; Mikey still hadn't filled out any college applications (just full-time job applications, which worried Gerard); and speaking of Mikey, he had been acting really strange lately.

It may have just been because there were 800 million obscure friends and relatives traipsing in and out of the house the past week, but Mikey wasn't being himself. He'd been quieter than usual during dinner, stayed upstairs in his room most of the time, instead of helping Donna and Gerard with last-minute wedding details, and he hadn't spent the night with Gerard in over a week. He usually snuck down to Gerard's bedroom after Don and Donna went to bed, but he hadn't done it for some time, not even giving Gerard an excuse. He even seemed different when they kissed.

Gerard told himself over and over that Mikey was simply nervous, but his own stomach churned at the thought that maybe this was serious. He had to know for sure.

So the night before the wedding, when at last the house was still, Donna having finally fallen asleep through her nerves, and Don staying at his best friend's house for his bachelor party, Gerard crept upstairs and slipped into Mikey's room.

The room was lit only by the small lamp on his bedside table, looking ominous and shadowy. Mikey jumped when Gerard walked in.

"Gerard? What are you doing?" He asked, and Gerard saw him hastily shove something under his blanket.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," He answered, walking into the room and sitting down on Mikey's bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Mikey said, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"Please don't lie to me, Mikes. What's going on with you? And don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, either."

Mikey half-smiled. Gerard just knew him too well. Then he sighed and pulled whatever he'd hidden under his blankets out, setting it on the bed between the two.

It was just a book. Why would Mikey feel the need to hide a book from Gerard? Unless it was _How to Murder Your Step-Brother/Boyfriend And Get Away With It_ , Gerard didn't care what Mikey read.

Until he got a good look at the title.

 _Flowers In The Attic_.

Gerard had read it two Summers ago. It was about this woman that kept her four kids locked up in their grandparents' attic to hide them because they were a product of incest. The grandmother was a huge Jesus freak that tortured the kids and even killed one. After years of being locked in the attic, the two oldest started experimenting with each other. The whole book was about incest in one way or another. That worried Gerard.

"What made you want to read this?"

Mikey shrugged. "I'd never heard of it before. It was on my Summer reading list. I picked it at random."

"Is this why..." Gerard trailed off.

Mikey sighed. "I'm sorry. I know it's just a book, but... I don't know."

"Why do you care if this relationship is a sin? You don't believe in God."

"I don't really care. It's just making me think, you know?"

"We're not blood. We're not even technically related."

Mikey scoffed. "Give it 24 hours."

Gerard frowned. "Are you saying you want to end this?"

"No!" Mikey almost yelled, his eyes going wide. "That's not what I'm saying at all! I just... I don't know," He said, looking almost deflated.

"I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, Mikes. I'll give you your space. I love you."

Mikey nodded. "I love you, too."

He leaned forward and kissed Gerard, sweetly but intensely. It gave Gerard hope.

"I'll see you at the alter," Gerard joked, standing and walking toward the door.

Mikey chuckled silently, and blew Gerard a kiss before he closed the door.


	27. Chapter 27

"Up, up, up! Come on, Sleepyhead! We have to be at the hotel in less than an hour! Get up!" Elena yelled, punctuating her sentence with a smack to Gerard’s ass.

"It’s 7 am!" Gerard mumbled into his pillows.

"You still need to shower , so get up! There’s Starbucks upstairs," She added slyly.

Gerard poked his head out from his mountain of blankets. "Starbucks, you say?"

"Get up!" Elena called over her shoulder as she walked back up the stairs.

The promise of coffee got Gerard out of bed, albeit grudgingly. He gathered whatever clothes smelled clean and dragged ass upstairs.

He spent about fifteen minutes in the shower spray before he gave in and walked downstairs, where he assumed chaos was in full swing.

And it was. He laughed as he walked down the stairs, watching everyone running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Well, the women were. Mikey was sitting at the kitchen counter, sipping an iced coffee and looking a bit sad, yet amused by his soon-to-be family members.

"Is the veil in the box?"

"Where are my shoes?"

"The dress is already at the hotel, right?"

"Something blue! How could we forget?"

"Where is that limo?"

"Who has my eyeliner?"

"All we're stopping for is the boys' tuxes, right?"

"The garter! Where did you put the garter?"

"Oh, my God! The rings!"

"Don has them."

Gerard walked up behind Mikey, reaching around him for the cup labeled 'Son of the bride'. He laughed when Mikey jumped. "Kinda makes you glad you're not a woman, huh?"

"Very glad."

Donna, Elena, Donna's sister Charlotte, her two daughters and Donna's best friend Joan kept this up for another ten minutes before the limo showed up. They all piled in and after a quick pit stop at Men's Warehouse for Gerard's and Mikey's tuxes, they were off to the hotel.

"It's beautiful!" Elena gasped when she saw the reception area.

Thanks to what would live on in infamy in the Way household as The Notorious Flower Negotiation, the room was instead decorated with faux branches, red and orange and yellow leaves and crystals all over. It looked like Autumn in the middle of Summer. Gerard smiled when he saw it. It really was beautiful.

This was where (sadly) Gerard parted with Mikey, who was due in the Groom's room, as he joined his mother and her wacky family in the Bridal dressing room. Gerard refused to leave his mother's side, even standing on the other side of the dressing screen as she slipped into her gown, and he into his tux. When he stepped out from behind the screen in full dress, both Elena's and Donna's jaws dropped.

"You look amazing, sweetheart," Donna doted, tears welling in her eyes.

"Hey, now," He scolded her, "I'm the one that's supposed to cry."

Donna only had a second to laugh before she was swept away for finishing hair and make-up touches.

The bridal room was a hundred times worse than his house had been, because now there were every manner of obscure female friend and relative running around like decapitated poultry, fighting for mirror space to perfect their dress or hair or makeup. Thankfully, Gerard had the foresight to bring his own handheld mirror, and he comfortably sat on the floor in the corner to smudge out his eyeliner.

When he finally removed himself from Donna's apron strings, it was to greet Frank (who was looking way sexier than anyone in a bow tie should) in the lobby and show him where he'd be playing. Frank sound-checked with Tex while the ceremony area was vacant, then joined Mikey in the Groom's dressing room, much to Gerard's extreme jealousy. He didn't know how much more estrogen he could take before he started growing ovaries.

When he finally returned to his mother's side, she was done up and perfect, an image of pure beauty. Her hair was swept up, curled and twisted into elegant knots around Elena's diamond hair pin, her dress clung to her hips perfectly, where it blossomed out into a full skirt, she was fresh-faced and radiant and Gerard had to fight tears when he saw her. He wasn't normally a cryer, but she just looked so happy sitting down at the vanity, watching everyone finish getting ready that Gerard's chest tightened. He walked over to her and kissed her cheek, speaking softly so as to keep the moment between the two of them.

"Mom, you look absolutely stunning."

Donna smiled, and somehow the fine lines around her mouth only added to her beauty. Donna was getting older, no doubt, but she was aging with timeless grace. Yeah, she had lines on her face, but they were signs that she smiled, that she had lived a happy life.

"Thank you, baby. You look pretty amazing, as well."

Gerard blushed. "You don't think it's too much? Too dark?" He asked a little guiltily. He had gone a little heavy-handed with the eyeliner, as he usually did. He was worried it was a little too much.

Donna shook her head. "Not at all, baby. You look good with the dark make-up," She complimented, brushing a few stray hairs out of Gerard's face. "Besides, I'd never ask you to change the way you look just because I didn't like it," She said, setting her hand on Gerard's cheek.

Gerard smiled softly and let his eyes slip closed for a second, reveling in the moment while it was there.

"Are you nervous?" He asked, opening his eyes back up.

Donna dropped her hand. "A little. But a good nervous. A ready nervous."

"I'm happy for you, Mom."

"Not just me. It's a big day for you, too. Today you get the family you always deserved."

"I'm sorry for putting up such a fight in the beginning. I was an idiot. You made the right choice. I love Don. I love Mikey, too."

"Honey, don't apologize. I'm just glad we're all happy. Are you happy?"

Gerard thought on it for a moment. Then he wrapped his arms around his mother and squeezed as tightly as he could.

"Yeah, Mom. I'm happy. I really am."

****

His hands were starting to sweat, but Gerard carefully took his place at the end of the aisle behind the ornately carved doors. Donna curled her arm around his. She squeezed him once for support.

Frank started playing and a moment later, the doors opened.

There was a chorus of 'Ooh's and 'Aah's and 'Beautiful!' and 'Grew up so handsome!'. Gerard and Donna took slow, careful steps down the aisle as Frank wailed 'Here Comes The Bride' with skilled, practiced fingers. He looked like he was having the time of his life.

When Gerard finally looked at the altar, he saw that Don's eyes were glued to Donna, tears glistening in them already. He didn't blame him. There was a glow in Donna's eyes that Gerard had only ever seen on rare occasions. He had a feeling he'd be seeing it a lot more often now. He'd never seen either of them look more in love.

But Gerard didn't have much time to focus on Don, because his eyes were automatically drawn like a magnet to the tall, skinny, lanky kid in the tux next to him.

Mikey's suit clung to him in all the right spots, accentuating his narrow frame. His hair was falling in his eyes, the way it did when he was leaned over his bass, and it made Gerard's face warm. He was smiling brightly, and it was as beautiful as Gerard remembered.

Speaking of looking head-over-heels in love, that smile hadn't moved or changed since Mikey had caught sight of Gerard. Hell, he had barely even blinked.

When they made it to the altar, Frank rang the final notes and took his seat next to Matt and Toro on the Groom's side. Gerard dropped Donna's arm so he could hug Don. Then he took her hand, kissed it gently, and placed it into Don's hand, finalizing what Gerard had just recently come to terms with; he was finally ready to share his mother, as long as it was Mikey and Don he was sharing her with.

Having done his job, he took his seat next to Elena, promising himself that he wouldn't cry.

He cried.

****

While everyone else enjoyed cocktail hour, Gerard slipped outside to enjoy a much deserved cigarette. He blew the smoke toward the sunset. The hotel had a gorgeous little fountain and a garden back here. It was quaint and homey and beautiful. Donna couldn't have picked a better venue. Speaking of perfect...

"You look beautiful," Gerard said to Mikey, who had also ditched the stuffy, over-air conditioned crowd inside in exchange for warm Summer breezes.

Mikey smiled softly. "Are you calling me a girl?"

"No," Gerard said, tossing his cigarette butt aside, "I'm calling you too perfect for words, too gorgeous to be real."

Mikey blushed. " _Merci_ ," He said with a sly smile.

Gerard craned his neck to see every door leading to the patio, making sure the coast was clear before he advanced on Mikey, kissing him passionately.

"Wow," Mikey smiled as they separated.

"Sorry. It's been building all morning. If I didn't get it out soon, I may have exploded. I didn't mean for it to be so intense."

"I forgive you," Mikey said sadly.

Gerard sighed. "You're still out of it? Mikes, don't think this changes anything."

"Are you kidding? What _doesn't_ this change, Gerard? Our parents are _married_. That legally makes us brothers."

" _Step_ -brothers."

"Still family. There's a word for this, Gee. It's in-"

"Don't you dare!" Gerard cut Mikey off. "Don't let that filthy word touch your lips. We're not doing anything wrong."

Mikey sighed. "Did you forget how you had to look around before you could kiss me?"

"Fine. If that's what you want, then fine," He threw up his hands in exasperation. "You know, I spent all that time fighting myself, trying to convince myself that I didn't want you. And now, after I've waved the white flag, you wanna break it off because of a fucking _book_?"

"I don't wanna break it off!"

"Then tell me what you _do_ want!"

"I want to be able to kiss you and not worry about who's looking! I want to be able to say that I love you in front of any and everyone, because I do. I don't want to have to hide the fact that I've found the love of my life. I don't want to look around to see everyone flaunting their relationships while we have to kiss in closets and around corners. I want to be able to love you out loud and without hesitation."

That hit Gerard in the worst way.

"Well, I'm sorry, Mikes. But that's not gonna happen. I know, it sucks. I've found the man I want to spend my life with, and all I want to do is shout it from the rooftops, but all I _can_ do is whisper it to myself. I guess you just gotta look at us and decide if the relationship is worth the secrecy."

Mikey looked pained for a moment, and Gerard was terrified that he'd just convinced Mikey to break up with him. But after a moment, his face softened.

"Of course you're worth it. You're worth every minute of silence I'll ever have to endure."

Gerard blew out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Then who cares what anyone else will think about it? I love you, unwavering, forever and always."

Mikey smiled. "And I love you, Gerard. With every ounce of my heart."

Gerard pulled Mikey to him, hugging him and kissing his hair. "Then that's all we need. Fuck V.C. Andrews."

Mikey laughed, and just like that, he was back to being Mikey.


	28. Chapter 28

"Let's hope three months of band practice paid off," Toro joked as the boys set up on the reception stage.

"We've played this song a million times. We'll be perfect," Frank reassured them.

When everything was plugged in and ready to go, Gerard approached the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll please stand to join me in honoring Mr. and Mrs. Donald Way," He said, motioning to the doorway where Don and Donna were waiting.

They walked onto the dance floor, starting slow as Frank began strumming his guitar. Matt joined in soon after, then Toro and finally Mikey. Don and Donna spun gracefully around the floor for their first dance. Gerard's stomach churned a little with nerves as he waited for his cue. They'd mashed the acoustic and studio versions of the song, giving the newlyweds appropriate 'first dance' music for the verses, and speeding up for a little bit more fun during the choruses. Gerard had faith in the dancing, since the two had been practicing for months. The singing still had him a little nervous, though. His cue came and he started singing.

"Hello, I've waited here for you, everlong. Tonight, I throw myself into. And out of the red, out of her head, she sang. Come down and waste away with me. Down with me. Slow how, you wanted it to be. I'm over my head, out of her head, she sang."

Donna and Don spun with grace, smiling as the guests looked on in awe.

"And I wonder, when I sing along with you. If everything could ever feel this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you; you gotta promise not to stop when I say when, she sang. Breathe out, so I can breathe you in, hold you in. And now, I know you've always been out of your head, out of my head, I sang."

Gerard looked around to his bandmates; Frank was playing with all his heart, like he always did, Ray was singing back-up as if his life depended on it, and Mikey was smiling at Gerard from behind his bass. Gerard felt invisible in that moment, surrounded by his favorite people, belting out one of his favorite songs.

"And I wonder, when I sing along with you. If everything could ever feel this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you; you gotta promise not to stop when I say when, she sang. And I wonder, when I sing along with you. If everything could ever feel this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you; you gotta promise not to stop when I say when."

Donna and Don finished their dance with a flourishing move, and the entire room burst into cheers and applause for the happy couple and then directed their attention to applauding the band. Gerard's life had never been so perfect.

****

"Where's your bag?" Elena asked as the night was winding down.

Guests were leaving and the moon was getting higher and higher and Donna hadn't stopped smiling all night.

"It's in the Bridal room. The plane leaves in about an hour," Donna told Elena and Elena scampered off to find it.

"You guys will be okay driving home alone?"

Gerard rolled his eyes. "Mom, we'll be fine. We're not two years old."

"But five days alone? You sure you'll be okay?"

" _Yes_ , Mom. We've got more than enough money. I think we'll manage."

Don walked up and kissed Donna's cheek. "Limo to the airport leaves in ten. Stop fussing; the boys will be fine."

"Last chance. Are you guys sure you don't wanna come with? Think about it; five days in Martinique. White beaches, clear blue water, exotic food, reef diving..."

"Yeah, that sounds great, Mom. A week spent jammed into a tiny hotel room with Mikey, little to no Wi-Fi, baking alive under the tropic sun while trying not to gag as you and Don make kissy-face. Sounds like Paradise. I'll start packing now."

Donna scowled. "When did you get such a smart mouth?"

"When was I born?"

Donna rolled her eyes and walked away to change, but not before hugging Gerard and kissing his cheek.

Gerard walked over to the band's table, where the boys were still gorging themselves on cake and Frank had somehow managed to finagle a beer out of one of the bartenders.

"She invited us along again, didn't she?" Mikey asked.

"Yup."

He shuddered. "Please tell me you said no."

"Actually," Gerard said, grinning, "I opted to stay home, but I told them you'd be more than happy to accompany them. Mom's ordering matching t-shirts as we speak."

Mikey's face fell. "That is not funny, you fucker."

"False," Frank laughed, "That's actually hilarious."

"So what are you gonna do for nearly a week with no parental supervision?" Ray asked.

" _ **Party**_!" Frank yelled, waving his arms in the air.

" _No_ ," Gerard and Mikey said in unison. Not only were they not party people, but Gerard was looking forward to a week alone, with just Mikey.

Frank crossed his arms and pouted. "I need cooler friends."

"So, guys, I was thinking," Ray said timidly, "This whole band practice thing has been pretty fun."

"Damn straight," Matt threw in around a mouthful of cake.

"And admit it, we sounded really good up there. I mean, we got a standing ovation."

"From a roomful of our friends and relatives. I think they might be a bit biased," Mikey countered.

"Pessimist," Frank threw at him.

"Anyway... I think we should think about, you know, maybe... starting a band. Like an actual band."

"Hell yeah!" Frank yelled, pumping his fist.

Gerard scoffed.

"It's a good idea, Gee. I mean, think about it, we all love music, we all like pretty much the same bands, we all found music as an escape, cuz let's face it; we're all pretty big nerds. I'm the only one here that had a halfway-decent time in school. The rest of you were tormented pretty bad, and music helped us all through the bad times. We could help other kids. Change lives, maybe even save a couple!" Frank reasoned. His eyes were sparkling, the way they always did when he talked about something he was passionate about. Frank looked so cute when he was excited.

"I think we could make it. We're not like other people. We wouldn't be doing it for the groupies or the fame or even for the money. We'd be making music for the sole purpose of helping others. Making music because we love music."

"Ray's got a point. Plus, who better to show these kids how strong they are than us? We've all been through Hell and back, but we kept fighting. We could show kids that if we made it through, so could they."

The idea seemed ridiculous at first, but listening to Frank talk was stirring something inside Gerard. Frank was so charismatic, it was a good thing he used his powers mostly for good.

"I don't know," Gerard grimaced, "We're all leaving."

"So? God invented Skype for a reason! And we're not going _that_ far."

Gerard sighed. A band? Maybe for fun, but as something serious? As a career? How many bands died out after years of trying to make it big, only to fade into obscurity? He didn't want that for them. He was dead set against it, until he looked over at Mikey. Mikey was smiling hopefully. He was for this band, Gerard could read it on his face. And he couldn't bear to crush Mikey's dreams like that. He shrugged. "Maybe. Let's all settle into our new lives first. Deal?"

Frank was grinning like the Cheshire Cat, because in his mind, Gerard had already said yes.

"Come on," Gerard tugged at Mikey's sleeve, "Let's go see Mom and Dad off."


	29. Chapter 29

The house was cold and quiet when they got home. Cold and quiet and dark. Gerard went to flip on the light in the living room, but Mikey grabbed his hand.

"Wait. Leave it off for a minute."

"Mikes, I can barely see you," Gerard argued.

But Mikey didn't care. He took Gerard's hands in his and carefully steered him over to the couch. Mikey laid down, and tugged on Gerard's hand until he joined him.

Gerard laid down and Mikey curled up against his chest.

"Donna looked amazing tonight," He whispered.

Gerard smiled. "Yeah, she did. They looked so happy."

Mikey sighed.

"What? Don't tell me you're opposed to this _now_? Cuz I hate to break it to you, but you're a couple hours too late, Mikes."

"That's not it. I'm glad Donna and Dad found each other. They deserve it. It's just... Some nights, I lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and think, _What if they hadn't_? What if Dad and I had just moved here because we needed a new start? What if you and I had met in Study Hall on my first day here? We wouldn't have to sneak around. We could kiss in front of Donna, we could hold hands in public. We could be together, even move in together, and we wouldn't have to hide anything. Sometimes a little piece of me wishes that was how it happened. If Dad and Donna weren't together, we could be. Does that make me a bad person?"

Gerard squeezed Mikey tightly. "Absolutely not. It's okay to wonder. Yeah, that sounds amazing, but that's not how it played out. Mom and Don beat us to the punch. But hey, at least we found each other. That's what really matters. I love you, Mikey."

Mikey kissed Gerard's chest. "I love you, Gerard."

Gerard sat, running his fingers through Mikey's hair for a moment before gently pushing himself off of him. "Okay, as much as I love cuddling with you, I need to get out of this fucking tux."

"But why? You look so handsome."

"I look like a fucking penguin," Gerard said, yanking at his bow tie. He tossed it unceremoniously behind him as he walked downstairs. He stripped and quickly changed into flannel pajama pants and an old worn Iron Maiden shirt. When he came back upstairs, he found that Mikey had also shed his formal clothes, and was sitting on the couch in his own pajamas.

Gerard wrung his hands nervously. "Mikes, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why didn't you apply to any colleges?" Gerard asked quietly, crossing to sit in the recliner in the corner.

"Cuz I don't want to go to college."

"Why?"

Mikey shrugged. "I'm not smart enough."

Gerard scoffed. "Mikes, you were two classes away from graduating with High Honors; you're smarter than the average New Jersian teen."

Mikey chuckled. "I guess there's just more important things on my mind right now."

"If you mean this band that Frank and Ray are pitching, it's a long shot."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Gee."

"Then what? What could possibly be more important that college?"

"You."

Gerard flinched. "What?"

Mikey shrugged again, suddenly embarrassed. "I just... I know that the school you want to go to is in New York, and I guess... You know, I just figured, and sorry if I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I just kinda thought that when you left for school, I'd, I don't know... Go with you?"

Gerard breathed a sigh of relief. He'd been hoping that Mikey would accompany him to New York since he got his letter, but he never quite knew how to ask.

"I assumed," Gerard cleared his throat, "Hoped, actually that you would come with me."

Mikey looked up from his feet and smiled. "So I just... don't wanna leave you. Fuck college; you're more important."

That sentence slapped Gerard across the face. He was suddenly racked with guilt.

"Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"Don't tell me that I'm more important than school. I don't wanna be the thing holding you back, Mikes."

"It's in Illinois, Gee."

"What is?"

"The college I wanted to go to, is in Illinois. Do you have any idea how far away that is?"

"If it's what you want-"

" _You're_ what I want. NIU is insignificant compared to a life with you. Full scholarship or not, I'd rather be with you."

Gerard did a double take. "Full scholarship?"

Even in the dark, he could see Mikey blush.

"I got my letter back in October. A musical scholarship."

"And you're gonna give that up? For _me_?"

"Why do you say it like that? If there's anybody worth turning down a scholarship, it's you."

"Mikey-"

"Stop!" Mikey yelled, and Gerard jumped, "Stop trying to convince me that you're not worth it, Gerard! Stop trying to push me toward something I don't want."

"You wanted it in October."

"Things have changed. Like the fact that I found the love of my life. Nothing you say or do is gonna change my mind. I pick you; it's over, it's done with. Besides, I already turned it down, so that ship has sailed."

Gerard sighed. "What about your dreams?"

Mikey stood and walked over to Gerard, sinking to his knees in between his legs and taking his hands in his. "Dreams change. Spending the rest of my life with you, that's my number one priority now."

Gerard smiled softly. "And number two?"

"I think we can make this band work. I really think we have a shot, Gee. Why not us? Who loves music more than we do? Frank and Ray might be onto something."

"I don't know," Gerard said, shaking his head.

"I'll go to school," Mikey offered, "Community college in New York. I promise I'll go. But _you_ have to promise to try at this band thing."

Mikey was pretty stubborn, so Gerard figured this was the best compromise he could ask for. He kissed Mikey sweetly. "Deal."

Mikey smiled and kissed Gerard, carding his fingers through his hair. Then one kiss turned into another, and another until they were both breathing heavily.

"Let's go downstairs," Mikey offered.

Gerard led the way, clinging tightly to Mikey. Once downstairs, they fell into Gerard's bed, tangled up in each other. They kissed lazily, shedding clothing slowly, piece by piece.

****

When Gerard woke up in the morning, he could only think one thing: Frank couldn't use his virginity as an insult against him ever again.


	30. Chapter 30

_Epilogue: 4 years later_

 

"We should fly home for Mom and Dad's anniversary."

"It's not just _their_ anniversary," Mikey commented, pecking Gerard on the cheek as he walked past.

"Now is not the time, pervs! Bus call was ten minutes ago!" Frank said impatiently, tapping his foot.

"Well, _someone_ had to sleep in!" Mikey called from the bathroom.

"If you hadn't given me such a workout last night," Gerard countered, zipping up his suitcase, "I would've been up on time!"

"Ugh," Toro groaned from the desk chair in the corner.

Mikey and Gerard both giggled, and Frank rolled his eyes. "Need I remind you asshats that when I used to make jokes like that in high school, I would get slapped?"

"Yeah, but it's funny when _I_ do it," Gerard smirked.

"What's taking so long?" Toro called to Mikey in the bathroom, where he was packing up his and Gerard's toiletries.

The door opened and Bob walked in.

"Gee, I can't find the strawberry-flavored lube! We just used it last night, didn't we?"

Bob said nothing, just spun around and walked right back out without a word.

"I think you just traumatized Bob," Ray chuckled.

"Fucking took long enough. A-ha!" Gerard yelled, thrusting the pink tube above his head triumphantly. It had slipped under the bed sometime during their sexual romp the night before. "I got it, Mikes!"

"Sweet Jesus," Ray said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He, like Frank and Bob when he eventually replaced Matt, were fully aware and accepting of Mikey and Gerard's relationship. After all, they were only brothers according to a piece of paper. That being said, he still got flustered and embarrassed and a little annoyed at all the sex jokes, not just the ones from the Ways. But this was his band of idiots, and he wouldn't trade it for the world.

"Let's fucking go!" Frank yelled, grabbing his suitcase and walking out into the hallway. Ray, Gerard and Mikey followed him to the elevator, leaving the room vacant.

"So, am I ever gonna get that double-team from you guys? Ow!"

"Sorry," Toro deadpanned, "My foot slipped."

****

The crowd in the venue that night was so loud that even in the Green room, Gerard could barely hear.

"It's go time," Brian announced, sticking his head into the room.

One by one, the boys grabbed their instruments and made their way to the stage.

There was such an electricity in the air that Gerard had to pull Mikey aside, kissing him roughly.

"The crowd's pretty excited tonight."

"I know," Mikey said happily, "I can feel it, too."

Gerard turned toward the stage, but Mikey pulled him back.

"Gee, listen. I know these last few years haven't been easy. They've been rough and painful and dirty and uncomfortable and tense. I know you gave up a lot for this band. There's not a day that passes where I don't thank God or Yahweh or the patron Saint of lanky, awkward gay boys, or whoever watches over me, for blessing me with the most amazing person I've ever had the honor of calling brother or boyfriend. I love you so much, Gerard."

Mikey leaned in and kissed him, but before Gerard could say anything back, Mikey grabbed his hand and pulled him onstage, where everyone was already plugged in and waiting.

"New Jersey, how ya doing?" Gerard screamed to the kids below.

The roar of the crowd ran through Mikey's ears, sending shivers down his spine.

"We can't tell you how excited we are to be home," Gerard screamed, and the crowd screamed back. "You know who we are, so put your fucking hands together! Ladies and gentlemen, we are My Chemical Romance!"

The crowd screamed louder than any other crowd before them had. Gerard snuck a look at Mikey, who was watching him with intent admiration, the way he always did when they shared the stage. Gerard could die right this second and be happy, because this moment was nothing short of perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! This was a pain in my dick hole for a long time, but I'm very happy with the final product!


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